Getting pissed off is a recipe for disaster its like a self-inflicted wound of disablement, perhaps better known to people who bear this trait, sudden recognition sudden dissatisfaction, sudden unhappiness, or sudden anger, what are the bases or justifications in which people are allowed to respond in this way toward you without anyone being scared of them and viewing you at fault, what is of issue, love care, mental health, physical health, ability, dissatisfaction, promise, potential, future ability, being “devalued” or “used up” or set for trash, these are the bases for which men’s anger is justified toward a woman, who is perceived as asking for it, or not living up to a standard to be recognized as woman of value, who has a good sense of morale decision making ability, tone etiquette, and future potential. What leads to a mental demise for a woman in which a woman is broken down such as myself, to not appear as one wishes, to be made to be upset, to look ugly faced or pissed off, to be masculinated, or for their bodies to change or be judged as a consequence of how much they care about themselves or not, or reflect that no one cares for them on the basis of what they look like, call that their own fault, for their appearance as justification of not being liked, or equate self harm with dislike of self or frustration as though someone being themselves is not at peace with themselves, then what can explain for someone else not being at peace with them, and is that the cause for voices, how does that occur, when and what do voices mean upon disclosure in therapy or psychiatry, it means mental illness, and it means psychosis, because it means now you are someone who says things that people don’t think are true so in order to make sure no one believes you and recognizes there to be something wrong with you a label is put on you because you are hearing things that are not you, a specific word, and that is the resulting diagnosis of schizophrenia, it’s to treat someone as though they don’t have control over their mind to equally punish them as therefore not having control over their body, so that their face and body type does not match who they are, so they are subjected to a different treatment in life. Not taken seriously, not viewed as successful, or deserving or proud, it will be what stage at which youre eyes are affected does that become a “Manson” blogger joke, to mess your eyes up, one of your features, to compare you to a serial killer who has bad eyes, who’s photo you saw before you got voices and hit your head into a wall, in what way does that have anything to do with anyone, I think if anything people are psychotic towards me and I exhibit no psychotic behaviors or words or actions towards others I stay away from people, so in what way does my experience with psychosis affect others, when Im being made fun of for something occurring in private,. That for years later over and over again I am made fun of and made to feel weird, and made to explain or talk about something that I don’t understand how it occur, and for that trauma to not go away, and for me to continue to suffer over and over again, and not be allowed to recover and work is not a legal punishment to cause suffering over and over again, and for nothing or no stage of stability to be enough, who ever asked for a life where they have to keep starting over, or be known, or not known, or not good enough, or inspiring, or offensive, or helpful, or annoying, or unreal, or not real, I think the basis for belief is when you are no one when you lose everything when you have nothing, so that’s me starting over, that’s me not being who I need to be for things to work out for me in life, and losing everything on the basis for me being questioned about my mental health and wrongfully accusing me of haphazardly living life or doing anything in secret that’s bothersome or weird to others, or methodotical or tries to be professional and is not, there is nothing funny about me in a way that Im not fit to work anywhere, it is the mental illness that Ive suffered and voices or suicide attempts, that makes me sound mentally ill and make me have no future and makes things less possible for me, its to tell me things wont work out, its to tell me I cant date, its to tell me I cant work, its to make people scared of you, its so people don’t trust you, its so no one feels sorry for you, its so no one understands you and so nothing will be about you if they think that you have a listening problem in which you think things are a reflection of you or about you, to make you seem like you are unappreciative or someone who pretends to be affluent and put together but is psychotic or a mess is not a good reputation to have at any point in life or for that to happen to anyone in life, who wants to try hard not belong and be getten rid of in life, who needs that treatment in life, who F up so bad in life that just being who they are is so offensive to people, that anyohne has let anyone down so badly that they don’t belong, or cant work, and then its about attitude what is what things are not when sick why when did you go to the hospital, when were you sick, when was your life over, what caused you to be sick, what did you have what did you lose, what happened what is this about and eventually nothing can explain anything and nothing matter and no ones cares who you knew in life, and you don’t matter, and they don’t want to be mentioned, and in the end there is you, and the life that you had and things now not working out on the basis of you not being well so you cannot enjoy or be proud and be among others, and then what are things about why are you hurt, who has been hurt by you, who is not doing well because of you, no one, I am not doing well because of me, and I am not doing well because my life is hard, and I tried to work and it didn’t work out, and its hard to find a job for what I want to do in life, and meet the criteria for a job, and its too much effort to apply be reviewed and interviewed and not believed and not selected, then I don’t have to apply and can work online on my blog was an option and start over building my website and write 3 posts a day and work full  time and stop complaining about mental health issues, stop making things about me, stop making fun of my mental health issues, stop studying my life and changing my story, stop[ making me look bad, stop blaming me, stop subjecting me to bullying, let me live my life however simple it needs to be I am not trying to be famous I wanted to publish a book I am doing real work and to prove that Im doing real work and don’t belong in the hospital will write everyday and work on my computer everyday whether its broken whether my internet is down whether my website is broken or not and not be some “failure” or “frustration” joke, or not inspired by appreciative of others or be made to seem like focusing on myself all of a sudden Im not there for others, I think you are either well and able to be there for others, or you are made sick and not able to be there for others, Im not in addict ion, Im, not drinking, I don’t do drugs, I did not relapse, Ive been sober, I didn’t date, Im trying to date, Im being picked to date, Im working on managing my mental health issues, if my life is too challenging and if my problems are to serious and if reality is too difficult such that Im being made fun of out of disrespect or not being good enough then I don’t have to try, protest, write in public, care, I don’t have to watch the news or follow stories, or help anyone, I don’t have to be a lawyer, I don’t have to represent anyone, I don’t have to finish my JD (if you are able now whatever ability you have I seem to lose and disability is caused its until you end up in the hospital is when its about other people not being happy with you, so this is when people not in your life dont like you and want you to be in a hospital its people who dont know you as well think you are sick and its a joke about being told something and thinking something and feeling a certain way and a joke about health love and truth and reality so Im constantly told things to not feel good and make everything a joke about CBT, Im not teaching it Im learning it and its helping me, and Im not getting advice to not improve to not then be there for others and not make the same mistake as others are to me telling me that my life is over or my life is too hard or Im so far gone or broken that anywhere off meds is going to fix me suffering or live long days in pain and not be able to nap or sleep) or take the bar, whatever is the end goal that people don’t want possible will not happen on the basis of disability and proving that over and over again, and then cause me to get voices self harm, and say oh she hurt herself, or oh this bis hurtful to this person, I think its hurtful to me when Im not doing well and I keep my life way from everyone and Im never sick with people, know that Im not feeling well I cant be around people, so that’s a simple fact of life of losing everything, for everything to not work out for you, for you to lose your entire life with one job, is not fair to me.