Unfortunately we live in a world, where people question others, don’t believe in people, seek validation, verification, go against people, don’t see anything in people, feel competitive with people, people are not thankful or appreciative, the more you are known, the tougher uphill battle you face, and it’s become clear that upon launching a blog makes certain to what degree I am known, and for that not be an excuse for “schizophrenia” or “IOP” to make me appear as someone who’s thinking is wrong about life, or where one sees themselves compared to others, or knowing their place in the world. If your place in life is to help others, don’t be surprised by people who don’t want youre help, can find better help, and don’t understand the reasons behind you helping, or what is of value by you helping. Many people want to know what will they get out of knowing you, in what way should they know you, and in what way should anyones perspective be changed, broadened, or helped in knowing you, that’s where things get difficult, either you accept that you are known and made fun of, or you are known and respected, and if that differentiation is not clear, that doesn’t mean go back to a world where I should feel sick or disillusioned, like my life turned out worse being known, or that I was not paying attention as things went on, where I stand in life, and what people are like around me, it matters when you don’t belong, it matters only if there is something wrong with you, and sometimes what is wrong with you, is what people think is wrong in the world, and seek to manipulate you, change you, or force you into treatment in life, as though that’s supposed to speak to all and treat a condition of you being known, and blame you for being known, or be portrayed as someone who is difficult to know, who isn’t a people pleaser, and be misdescribed as someone who gives up or self harms hears voices, lives in hell or chaos, and be blamed for their life, however lived, to explain for what mental health conditions they endured, who’s to say that’s about being known, or not being known, and that’s not what being known is for, being known cannot solve or cure mental illness, is cannot solve or cure mental health issues, it cannot solve or cure sickness toward you, it cannot solve or cure people who don’t like you or like what you are about, or think that you are for blaming as being known, to make you some common denominator of sickness to be felt or endured by anyone with a similar condition of you, claim you don’t represent or speak to the issues in a way, where you should be respected on the basis of your identity, I think the terms of acceptance and respect are very strict, and I think being left alone in life, can be easily lost, and I think being known, makes people think they are entitled to being aggressive toward you. So who am I to say that life is easy, unpaid as a writer online, and able to get a job but then told to go to the hospital with a job, paid jobs are hard to find I only found paid jobs 2017 and 2022, and it takes years to find a job, so please don’t treat me like I have a good life and make anything difficult, Im like everyone else trying to figure out what life is supposed to be like, how I am supposed to be around people, and what I need to be like in order to get a job and be hired, I expect that being known, people will give you a hard time, will test you to see whether you recognize you are known, whether you think people are supposed to play stupid as though you have put others up to some knowledge of you that should be kept secret. I don’t think I put anyone at an awkward disposition in life, Im not a charity case, and camn figure out most things on my own, without preaching the wrong ideas about life, so please don’t blame me for an celebrity deaths “CVS: What are you Elvis or something?” that’s not my job to monitor the health of others, or to take responsibility for the failed health of others, and for me to be hospitalized on the basis of things not going well, or me not feeling well, and think that’s the solution for things getting better, I think most people keep going in life, during difficult times, and during good times, most people don’t go to the hospital everytime they feel sick, or are in a down, or left with difficult circumstances that they cannot solve, life is not so difficult, and clearly being allowed to blog and get jobs, shows that even if you have had a past of not feeling well, there is still an opportunity for you to be well in life, and what Im learning now, is that being well is about being allowed to be well, and that’s the control that people have over your wellness, that if people don’t think that you deserve to feel well, then they will test, aggravate, or interfere with your ability to feel well, everything in life is a head game, what keeps you from thinking, what distracts you or hurts your head, what is about you, what is it about them, and what do you have to offer the world in all sincerity as someone who once attempted suicide (2009) and has lived long enough to explain that if you simply dedicate your life to working on your mental health and staying well then you will be able to stay well, no one can explain mental illness and how it happens, not even someone applying to law school with a job and a boyfriend, whos to say how that happens or what affects your head, or causes you sadness, or to feel disconnected in life, or not able to make positive decisions for yourself, what is it about thinking about life that anyone should be made to feel sad, or overwhelmed in any way, that life is too much work, or they cant get help, everyone can get help, everyone can live differently, everyone can get meds, everyone can talk, everyone can seek professional care, everyone can know eachother, everyone can matter, and everyone can care, its about how much do you demonstrate that you care about yourself enough to be left alone and trusted to live life without bothering anyone or causing anyone to question you or your writing, or influence in the world, as someone who has survived most downs in life, difficulties and failures, I think Im doing just fine.