What I learned on my writing break, is that I may get well, but the resentment toward you for being well, is something that can still hurt your feelings, so don’t in reverse get sick and give up, solely because your health is being confused for protest or upset, the upset doesn’t start until you stop, so that’s what I learned on a writing break. In addition, voices get worse, the less you do, so to get going again, accept the pains of insult and having your feelings hurt, the depths of those pains in life wont go away until you get started against rebuilding yourself. Ive been through depression before, youre asleep all day and cant function, put on meds, and doing less not by choice, its not fun, it’s a process, and you are supposed to get better with treatments, not recover, or get sick, or be accused of being suicidal or giving up, that’s not what a writing break is for giving up, its for getting strong again, so that you can withstand the conditions, all the unhappiness, resentments, complaints, and voices, those are things that wont go away so long as you are upset the lesson with getting upset its hurts you it breaks you it makes you look bad, and it causes more voices not stop them. The problem with success, is how you are treated when successful, so losing everything and a lawsuit, is probably reflective not of what Ive done wrong, but of how others feel and to be more mindful of in what way, while suffering from schizophrenia, am I getting something wrong when it comes to how others are feeling. I think not writing when things become difficult or complex, is smart, schizoprhrenia and voices is a serious condition, and I don’t think at any point in time losing your battle with mental illness is not my own suffering plus embarrassment and humiliation, its not that you have changed or become mean, its when you stop tolerating bullying voices, and being slowed down or invaded and degraded, that seems to be the fight that you cant win defending yourself in life, it becomes one abrasion over the next, its scaring you, then accusing you of being hurt or scared, and act like anyone else should not be bothered, so that’s hurt, you get hurt, and then what you complain about other people don’t want to hear, so maybe that’s schizophrenia, your struggle to keep to yourself and not bother anyone else with whats complicated for you or hurtful and just like someone with schizophrenia doesn’t want to be insulted or sued or accused of being sick toward anyone, lets hope that this diagnose doesn’t allow for anyone to be sick towards me or hateful either. I know the life that I have lived, and what diagnoses Ive had, so I know that there is no limit to my success in recovery, so this is just a new hurt, being brought down in life, and pushed, and made to shout and hit my head, and Im sure that no one needs to care or get worried, its my hurt and theres not explanation for it, theres no cure for voices, so either you believe the symptoms and respect the time alone to work on myself or you perceive it as something else. Whether there are pictures to prove my wellness, or my improvement, is beyond me at this point, what is done to your face and body by bullying, its like no one cares about you, no one cares about your health, and people feel entitled to hurting you, is what voices feel like, its like people think you are out here in life, to not be liked, or someone who is mentally ill, who is expected to continue living life with people treating you like you don’t matter, or youre nobody. No one is anyone online pretending to be anything they are not. So just accept that fact, that why I am known is because of my writing and progress and hardwork, its not a character, and have some appreciation for the quality of my work and effort and photos and improvement. The problem with voices, is that they make you look bad, you cant talk about it, and yolure the one who gets hurt in the long run, so what to do about those hurt feelings in life, how are you supposed to get well when you’ve been hurt, and your head and your body hurts, and its nothing that you can prove. So what are some solutions for voices:

• Voices – Take medications.
• Prozac – If aggravated made to feel bad or self harm.
• Writing or Journaling – Keep track of your progress and have proof.
• If you are being studied – be positive and keep track of attitude and mood.
• Pictures – are for acceptance of you and proof that you are healthy and positive.
• Therapy – identification of what is wrong and talking about what is wrong, how you feel.
• Performance – How you speak in private, how you speak in public.
• Losing Your Battle with Voices – Can include shouting and self harm, feeling suicidal.
• Losing Your Battle with Voices – Can hurt your feelings, feel tormented, give up, be in pain.

No struggle is an endless struggle, so please don’t consider blogging as me going through anything difficult that needs to be written about, not especially when I am at peace and overcoming my own challenges and difficulties in life, if I can be there less for others, that’s a good thing until I am well, and as a blogger, if Im not developing and improving and overcoming, then its probably best for me not to write, and to not affect anyone elses development and improvement either. Life isn’t a team sport, when youre not feeling well or going to the ER, that means I have to take care of myself and its no ones business what the causes are for that, not voices, not blogging, no one, so accept that when people are hurt and not feeling well, there can be no explanation for it, not especially when someone is struggling, that’s no ones business, and it could not be my fault, and it could be no ones fault, so accept whatever the diagnosis means and whos feelings have been hurt my own. So not contributing to the glamourization of mental illness making fun of me as someone who writes, is a good decision to take care of myself and figure out why Im being hurt in life, tormented and tortured, and why that is not deserved not for any reason. So although Im fighting for my life, trying to get well, Im certainly not fighting anyone else, human, through blog, or voices, me being alive and well is just as valuable to me and meaningful to me as a person, as it would be to anyone else who looks forward to seeing me well, and improving, life is hard, its not a team sport, this you learn when you are being put under in life, put down in life, injured in life and hurt, it becomes an unreal experience that no one believes and not one cares about, and that’s the resentment held toward you in the event that you fall sick, its almost as though people hurting you, then blame you for your own medical challenges in life, and that’s not what the hospital is for bullying or “voices” trying to make up bullying that I never experienced in life, and not by who I am now don’t deserve either. Everyone is smart enough to get jobs and be paid, and I am smart enough to get a job and be paid too, so that’s not a power that Im willing to give up to any disease or mental illness let be reinforced by voices, so know that when I set goal to improve that’s to help everyone, when I blog that’s to help everyone, when I am resting to get well that’s to help everyone, and when Im not feeling well, that’s no ones business, I don’t have to explain and I don’t have to talk about, and just as it takes me time to figure out why Im hurt, we hope that anyone hurt is given time to figure out their own health, in the privacy and comfort of their own lives, and not be resented for not feeling well.