It’s hard to explain “changes” on the blog, that would worry anyone, afterall its my life and my future, my words, and the consequences I should face in life, so with all of that in consideration, in what way would a change in my mood, stance, or output disadvantage anyone to experience any other feeling in life.

The confusion with voices, is the discussion of them, which is viewed as “telling off” I don’t think that admission to “voices” a condition that cant be proven you are held responsible for (should not hurt anyones feelings to report and write my responses to being called things Im not) and (not should it) cause a diagnosis of schizophrenia means that “you are hurt by voices” and instead diagnosed as someone whos voice hurts others, is a wrongful mistreatment for honesty as to the condition, had I known that I would have never mentioned it, let alone to a doctor.

If its something I can discuss with the police to determine whats harmful and what to be cautious of, I don’t need a medical professional to look at me and make a determination for me and everyone else who knows me of what Im capable of, or consider self-harm a dangerous condition to anyone else, is a danger to my health, not necessarily intending to affect anyone else other than me. When people think you are famous and don’t tell you that you are, they think everything you say and everything you do affects everyone else, and thinks that everything else is coded to ignore you and make fun of you and thinks that that’s your idea of mental illness, being known, so as much as the joke continues and mistreatment, the problem has yet to be solved, in what way would anyone take personally how I feel or what I have to say or how I am harmed, in what way should my honesty and suffering have anything to do with anyone elses life, being honest.

I think being honest about your own suffering is preventative such that so long as others know of a condition and are being educated on what the condition feels like and how it can or could occur, means they are prepared in advance to the experience of a condition that I was not notified of prepared or educated on the possibility for this condition to occur to me in my life for any reason, living alone or being who I am.

Therefore whats concerning is how many ways can you be hurt and misunderstood in life, I think everytime you are hurt and made to describe how you’ve been hurt is as many times as you are misunderstood as though your discomfort being around others, means that you are responsible for causing discomfort to others having an honest discussion about a condition no other person with schizophrenia has written about recently anything that I have gone through as a human being who has the same background and experience as me.

Therefore it makes no sense why I should have the worst condition along the spectrum of mental health diagnosis, is insulting defamatory and causes permanent damage to me self esteem, reputation, and hurts me to use my life without being paid or credited to benefit a scientific community who does not admit to reading my blog, or how that has helped them help others, or recognize how devasting the diagnosis is and its potential for causing what I now have depression and weight issues, and difficulty getting a paid job, is not what I deserve as a human being to be used to make other people feel good by medical professionals and to accuse my way of helping others through writing wrongfully accuse me of not making sense.

What doesn’t make sense is how hurting me solves anything and what does that prove, who should I sound like be like or look like in a condition that tells me my life is short Im going to die be disabled rest of my life and die stupid and mentally ill or be killed and die because of what medical community decided to say about me 2021 because I was hurt, in what way was my honesty misunderstood to punish and kill me and end my life for me, after having harmed no one, and in what way did convincing me I was schizophrenic not a joke or to cause harm to me psychologically torture me to convince others I don’t make sense or am sick. I think society suffered and that outlook in life, ruined my career as a writer, and in law, and destroyed my life and my progress, and did nothing to help me in life other than cause unnecessary suffering and risk of death, and subjected me to being abused harassed get death threats and pushed and pushed trying to cause me suicide self harm and psychosis, that’s not what hospital is for medical gossip to act like you know anything about my life or my story, like Ive said Im not alive for you, you don’t understand me, you don’t know me, my life is none of your business, and its not your choice to end my life, its mine!!!!!