It’s been many centuries, and over decades that femininity and female independence and interdependence has evolved, as more of a system of teaching one another through guidance that creates a form of protecting one another from harm. It is true that who one feels safe with is who one thrives among, whether that be a woman or a man. I have always believed that women supporting women, is a the key to success by my own experiences blossoming as a blogger and positive reactions from others in a witnessing of me making the extended effort to present myself online and share what I think and my viewpoints or opinions. Womanhood can be about respect, seeing ourselves in one another, or it can be about sex, dislike, frustration, control, upsets, loss of respect, or blame, there is no certainty in what makes women happy other than to be loved accepted and protected from harm. So while less of a concern or relevance is why I fell in love with someone, and what the concern for is for my future, is evaluating where or what my goals and motivations are in life upon change. The change that I suffer is from self-harm, that sets me back 6 months to 3 years, it takes to recover from self harm, so that’s a bottom. Whats new now is why when modeling, does my face change upon looking pretty with more focus on me, why am I drained with more attention on me, and in what way is the light of others considered upon viewing my light or loss of light, and what is self-harm is a loss of light, self-harm is something Im subjected to when I improve lose weight, date, go shopping, get a new car, get a job,its with a positive attitude or job application and audiition,that voices occur, and who is lost upon self-harm, I am lost, I am made to suffer, I am humiliated, and I am injured and hurt so who gets away with it, voices get away with it, I look bad, and I suffer as a result of self harm,and what does that have to do with losses, well seeing that there are no mass shootings and deaths now, then self-harm is unrelated to things going wrong, so things are only specifically going wrong for me. So what is the boundary, is what am I responsible for, and upon saying the word “responsible” what prompted a desire to hurt me and cause me to punch my head, is to blame me for mass shootings, fires and deaths, and then cause me to punch my head to wrongfully treat me as guilty, or accuse me of being combative. When it’s the fight toward me without being prompted by me or by writing, not entitling not giving permission to attack me, and change my writing and how I feel about myself and in the world, ridicule me as someone who self-harms, with attention, and accuse m of self harming for attention, or describing others by location or Country as something that they are not. Its wrong to cause someone to punch their head and gain weight to call them a offender and to see that they are rejected or discriminated for ER. It’s a heart condition I’ll show my EKG and medication records at CVS. So aggravating me my feelings, results in a pain, a heart condition, that is why self harm occurs, so please stop treating me as two people,accept who I was and what is sought ot change me for, so that I cant date or work and that hurts me, so whats expected to occur from PHP, that I improve be at peace, lose weight and beautiful again, and why is that not viewed as deserved, because you punishing me for a conversation  with my Mom what if I shouted back, you are punishing me for saying the word epithet, you are punishing me as something Im not so changing me to worse is to mistreat me as someone who is not big and proud (then I’ll work out and take a nude photo completely naked at 180lbs,. I don’t know what else you expect from my motivations in life, and treat me a blasphemous, its me “taking it like a man” its me you are accusing of being a butch lesbian, its you who don’t think that Im being strong for others loyal and professional, and it is you who are making fun of my sex experiences and sex life, out of onbserving me, so put other people on a watch list, and stop terrorizing me and treating me as though I don’t correspond with who can help and stop mistreating me as a self harm suicide joke, I don’t have to self harm, Im not going to PHP today, and Im going to write everyday and all day, until self harm voices and suicide is solved and prevented, and until whatever I say isn’t used as bait to attack or support me, and start working op publishing ebooks and earning a living, not be used as some secret system I forgot not apart of, it’s the word and its sexuality, that means I will never date again, because you’ve criticized my sexuality so many times, that I don’t want to have sex, and you are using gays and trans people to change me and make fun of me as a human being, so Im going to stop eating food, not drink and start publishing books and work on staying alive.