image, self-help

The Good Life …

We all deserve a taste of the good life, but not everyone is able to achieve a 5 night stay at Waldorf. That’s the difference between those who belong to be among those who are successful, and those who are just pretending to be successful and trying to fit among the best of them. That would be one way to describe blogging on social media, an intermix of the wealthy and the not so wealthy, the haves and have nots, playing in the same field, and having a seemingly equal opportunity at excelling, we all start with zero followers, its what we put online that affects whether we win or fail with the audience of accounts equally managing their esteems online, post by post, that’s the gamble, whether to be brief, or whether to stay present, whether to be thorough, or whether not to even begin, that’s how social media started, and overtime, as more and more people have participated self-expression has become the norm, able to resume our lives without question, accustomed to seeing people online, speak, for themselves, and for others. Theres no other place on earth where its normal to share your thoughts others than a classroom, everywhere else you are expected to keep your personal life separate from your professional life, even after applying for jobs, and joining support groups I wonder, how much of me online, has affected my relationships and communication skills with people in person, does that even factor in when judging me upon seeing me, and whats the overall description of my work thus far, has it been viewed in the negative or have I been viewed as someone who has grown confidence overtime and shared those confidences with others, without disrupting my progress or theirs in life. You can never judge how you are doing based upon how others are doing, and credit your wellness, or failures to their successes in life, if they are not presently in your life, then your life has had little to no effect on their well being or coming to be. What stays forever present in your memory bank about others, are the good times, and if the worst of times rolls through your mind, then that’s what they are remembered for, you can credit yourself for every mistake yourve made online, and without question find yourself yourself being blamed for the demise of those realtionships in your lives. What goes on in real life, should not be talked about in public, and vice versa, that’s something you learn overtime as a blogger, although you are allowed to share your thoughts, those thoughts are rarely accepted as reflections of your life presently or current interactions, theres no way forward out of that awkward and altered state of being, how quick things turn from normal, to cold at a moments notice. Allow others to be happy around you without critique, and for those struggling, never try to bolster your own self worth to the masses, by sharing about anyone that you’ve helped along the way, that’s not a letter of recommendation, one in which you write for yourself about someone you’ve helped in life or who has accepted help from you recently. To fix your image, fix yourself, no one can fix your image for you, not a group photo surrounded by friends, and certainly no couple photos will be admired but viewed instead as doing so in poor taste for acceptances, not out of pride, love, or admiration for your significant other. Enjoy those moments in life, when you feel apart of, what are you doing right in life? Mostly when we are avoidant in life, do we miss out on opportunities to get to know others, or reach our full potential socially. Easy does it. Those who have lots of friends, have maintained friendships, and out of those friendships maintained, maintained confidences, and by those confidences maintained, established trust, and with trust, more opportunities have availed themselves to them such as relationships, jobs, careers, photo ops, events, everything spectacular we have come to value and admire about social newsfeeds, not all have the talent and resources to provide for. That’s obviously not the goal of others who share to make others feel left out or worse off in life, but serve as reminders to those in their life that they are cared for, loved, and remembered. Staying in touch is one thing, losing touch all together, to pursue degrees studying or working from dusk until dawn, rarely pays off, although they say “its lonely at the top” that’s not completely true, based upon the newsfeeds Ive seen. Usually those who have messed up in life, hurting others or having done something in poor taste, are the last to know it, if they don’t already know what it is that they have done wrong in life, many of whom are no longer here, I was almost one of them. When you choose to isolate, by choice, don’t get rattled when your social standing gets misinterpreted as someone like those who are gone, is deserving of being gone, and for the same reasons, because they have done something wrong to themselves or someone else, to further that belief, don’t be surprised if you are treated as someone who is gone, or if that belief felt is further enhanced by destroying your reputation and sense of self-worth, ability, and agency in life, to build a better life for yourself, or continue to work hard even if your not being social, although you may think at some later point in time you can resume those friendships, if not maintained, then find other future weekend plans, most people move on, once you lose touch with them, and if they ever feel blamed for your shortcomings in life, then it makes it even harder to speak to someone, who thinks everything is happening to them, as though others have not experienced the same hardships in life, and would not wish the same for you. Learn to let things go, especially from your plate in life, that baggage you carry as to your past, defending every nook and cranny of your personal history serves no purpose, but to benefit those who think youre gone, if they see youre gone, think you deserve to be gone, or look gone, and that you did that to yourself, why you appear gone now, not because of anything anyone else is doing or saying, that your maladjustment to society, not bearing the confidence and gusto in a room full of people, is a sign that your spent socially, and that any non-acceptance of you is tolerable. It doesn’t make sense why anyone would be interested in a persons personal life or career objectives of social standing who keeps to themselves, why judge someone who is not the life of the party and bothers no one, but is approached by everyone to talk. Even if you are not recognizable by face, and have never met anyone, 1 minute, two nights, or frequenting any establishment is not the way to moderate what people think of you offline in person, its better not to experiment and figure out what people know, or try to date, and better to focus on yourself, break time, is not drinking time in a bar, if youre not finishing law school, then cry about it, re-apply, and continue your education, without a drink or a date, that’s what should’ve happened after a break-up, and for that Im sorry. Any blogging thereafter, makes no difference, although my writing may have improved, you cannot take back those experiences in life, which let to my demise, and because I did not have a steady boyfriend, and because I was drinking, I was not selected, and the reason why I have a boyfriend now 5 years later, is because I have stayed sober, am now working, running, and to me a successful blogger online, well respected in the blogging community, ranked in the top 100 personal development blogs online. That’s all I could ask for, recognition. It’s a very humbling experience to get likes, and followers, and to be commended for my work online, as through and appropriate. It really reverses all those past truths I thought existed as to my appearance and demeanor, as someone less than feminine or unique. When #lovedejan looked at me, it was like he didn’t even know me, and loved me, excited to be around me, like we were the only two people in a room full of people lit up, that was special, I could be myself, the inner socialite shined (I still got it dear: high school) and could hear myself talking not worrying who was listening, and still connected to the person I was sitting with, who was into me, that was so cool, dressed the part, but so uncomfortable in what I was wearing, all the hard work has paid off. Now its just a matter of staying stable enough to work, 3x a week, finish my dissertation with pride, with all the bells and whistles and citations perfect, to graduate! #mydream -No matter where you go in life, appreciate the moments that life teaches you about living for yourself and for others, it’s a two way street, its not all about you, wellness happens when youre happening, and when youre happening in life, others flock to you, have faith, the mind and the body heal, youre never alone, do your best, and with pride, hold your head high.

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