Love is a beautiful experience, so with love, always proceed. I think most of life happens in that way, either surrounded by love, the quiet air in the room, similar to a respect that is paid in acknowledgement of others in a room. There are few moments when no one knows what to do, and its not to be compared to an experience in which a room is filled with nothing, or something else. There is a such thing as autism, I had a neighbor once who used to throw tantrums, I was getting As in law school. You wont understand the experiences of others until it happens to you, and you will have them to thank later in life, when you are speechless. I think for a woman, when you are made to feel in the wrong, it can make it difficult to speak or perform. No one will, know what youre upset is about, and that’s most of life, having to figure out how to stay well, not be made to behave or sound in a way that is not forgiving for all, not speaking in the positive about oneself, if that’s the issue, which is not believed, or made to feel pretty then not feel good and sound as though youre not happy. You can improve, but that will mean nothing if you cant stay the same, and be the same person you were yesterday, there are a certain number of chances you get in life to move forward, and if opportunity is lost, that means something needs to be changed about how you speak to others and what about, which is the point of staying normal, its in instability that others do not understand you, and that’s the part of you that becomes too much for anyone, when you are not stable, it then becomes a matter if you are well or not well, and if you cant change that something about yourself, don’t get frustrated, on your way back to wellness, that a hospital cannot fix, working through issues, talking through issues, writing things down, keeping track of your health and staying well. I have had one prior experience of working through physical illness, that was with a job in film. Many years later I still don’t fully understand the causes for it, if its not me that is causing another unwanted feelings and thoughts, that must also mean that they are not the cause for unwanted feelings and thoughts. Don’t allow the strength of others to offend you, and if you ever feel like leaving, like things are not going to work out, that’s okay, you cannot force yourself to stay well anywhere where you don’t feel well, and that’s not also their fault. What is in your control. If you are a member to Brady, it’s a simple job of staying well and saying the right things, and its not what you stand for that becomes a discomfort, its if something happens and you get sick, means that you are not well enough to support anyone, and that is why to apologize in the event that you get sick, that ruins all your connections in life, whether they were right about you, or saw anything bad coming, you cant restore the faith in anyone, who is made to think that you are the cause, and if those are the voices you are hearing, then that also doesn’t mean to fill the space of what is not said, with anything that will better that voice, upon looking at you, or not being made happy for you, or about you, that’s a pressure that doesn’t quit. Anyone trying to prove you wrong. I think recently I decided to dedicate the next 365 days to writing everyday until well, and that’s the best I can do. Recently have been able to work my way up the ranks on Alexa, but that requires each day to bring new stability, and eventually I got sick by November, whether that’s a result of a disbelief or a negative voice, once you get physical illness, its hard to keep moving forward and also increases your chances of misspeaking, that is not able to handle jokes, insults, imitations, tests, sabotage, competition, or mind reading. That’s being in the spotlight, everything is okay, youre okay with everything, then youre not okay and not everyone is okay with you. Ive never experienced a pain in life like that before, Ive always done my best to stay level headed, and I don’t think that me not being level headed is a forgiveable position in life, and I don’t think that lost opportunity is reversible either, that doesn’t mean that a better life is in store for you, if you stop feeling well and doing well in life, that means that you have to start over, whether by error on your part, if who you were before seems easy to manage, then maybe that was the purpose of writing, to illustrate that the issues that others will have with you not in acceptance of you, cannot be made better by description, and that’s how you get hurt, its almost as if you get hurt so that others don’t get hurt, and Im sorry if that seemed like the solution for anyone to hurt me, thinking that would help everyone. Its usually a position not empathized with that is thought to be in the wrong a causal factor, Im not a quick decision maker, Im not impulsive, Im slow, and Ive always been that way a thinker.