Smart is something that occurs overtime, its not instant through reading, what keeps you going in life thinking in the positive and also viewing others in the positive, there will always be that lull in time, before giving it your best effort, before something goes wrong, and that’s the withdraw from something that youre doing that is not keeping you well. There are multiple reasons for that withdraw (1) feeling sick (2) feeling tired (3) whats in front of you (4) who is thinking of you (5) what things look like (6) your mental health and medications (7) communications looking at you (8) being used as a prop to communicate for you (9) wanting to leave (10) being made to stay (11) then not feeling well (12) then anger expressed toward you. I think writing a website two million words long, established that Im not gone or mentally ill, but everything still stands and that much you cant play around with in life whether its your car, or your home, or your outfits, or your face, you not having a job, the jobs you lose, whether you have money or not, what school youre going to, whether you look good, whether you look bad. Then there is the point of no one looking bad, which is when you are doing well. -As a writer, you are constantly working your way up the ranks, and it does not happen overnight, let alone your reality, private life, car and attention, look, face, and being consistent, I think all hope is lost, when you experience an inability to stay well, which is not being on the side of everyone who you have supported who is doing well. So what two interests are coming together that does not make sense, it will be the past that thinks you are talking about them, or saying something to say that you were offended by them, or describing something as being consequential, seeing things in a big way, which has never been a trait of mine, then it will be based on your memory, what stands out to you, what your head recognizes as being of essence, and at what point do you feel the ramifications of being read or looked at in the negative, when and why, and so follows all the excuses, of not intending, or not with thought of, or not meaning to, and the same defenses then get caused a changing of positions to add insight to say that one is self described as something that one is not current, then there is the use and misuse of identity, which is not an idea, or an exchange of a luck or wellness, there is no placeholder for the well, that can be taken by someone not well, that is a position on earth that you create for yourself, that’s what you radiate, its not a sensing of a human being or a recognizable strength of someone who is something on the inside that another is not. No understanding can be annoying, and at the same token, not having the same gifts in life, can add issuance of a feeling or thought to be directed to you to see what comes out of you, someone who is happy for another, or someone who has not won any awards, no one works off the work of another, and there is no such thing as something being well made, that is made with the parts of something that is not going to work out in the future if its something Ive said, then that must be his issue, atmospheric pressure or shining light upon a concept of something made with care and losing something made of value (Elon Musk). And there for the mentions, and the intolerable space of being watched and not making it in life, its by what you explain then memorized, then done to you, treating you as though you speak and upon being understood by another has a special or secret meaning, I don’t think I should be compared to a JAMA author, who speaks in the negative they may have been studying longer than I have, and I don’t think that coursera school choices is the purpose for taking a course or not finishing a course an issue with a poster or an identity of an addict. Sobriety is not addiction, schooling is not addiction, writing is not addiction, and fighting is not addiction. There is no need to pave or establish a ground that does not help me, and then be blamed for another not being helped life is not that complicated all writing is very difficult it requires that you concentrate and think that means that my brain is working, and now here is the conversation to, and then the insult, then they want to know if smooth, or if is descriptive in a way that communicates an unwanted touching of the heart or the mind, then they are looking for rejection a reaction or stupid or defense then they want to know why they sound alright reading but I don’t feel well writing, then who is to blame for any loss in composure, it could be to illustrate screamed at on 3 occasions (walking in the rain on the curb, by the promenade, parked next to a car). Whos fault will that be, well if I look grose and obese and seem like Im not paying attention making eye contact, and don’t appear to be fortunate or with God, then they think you are connected somewhere of less importance and then want to check bodies of importance connected to you, whatever the reasons are for success it should not be in making fun of me, and if that’s something I later learn about someone, then that was something they were directed to do not knowing who I was, and that’s the misunderstanding, how something well a good feeling can be distributed and why Im tired after writing everyday for two years and don’t feel well, and why no one is on board, that no one on board feeling is disappointment, and that’s you not being well around people not just yet, it takes time, so whatever the purposes are for ignoring, or consoling when no consoling is needed, is at what point can the excuse be made that an insult was taken personally or made to not feel good about oneself, and this is when jobs don’t work out, a new career is not in the picture, blogging was argued for, then this is when romance doesn’t happen, no flirting, cannot love, discomfort, then its about who is what about and needing to look better than then they think that its me looking good and that makes anyone feel blamed or at fault, you know not everyone will feel well, but it is important for people to keep going in life, if every interruption is painful, that means you had it good in life and no longer have it good in life and you have the attitude of someone who does not recognize whats around them, that is the change, from having struggled then doing well then everythings a turn off and is causing me sickness, and that’s life, move on.