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I’m Back …

I got home Sunday, hopefully a brand new me brand new somebody this year. I have officially detoxed off of adderrall and feeling good. My goals are always weight loss centered so I think that in part contributed to my dependency on the med for weight management. I don’t think there was any room for finding any sort of happy medium with the stimulants seems that things always tend to spiral out of control for me mental health wise. I can already tell re-reading the previous post that there was something clearly wrong with me, mostly disturbing is the negative self-talk. -I had a very memorable experience in treatment and I’m glad I went. I think I’m going to keep up doing a few things that I learned in treatment. A usual day is filled with groups in the AM and PM, we even did yoga. That was fun. I also for the first time did meditations and then we would journal afterward, not to mention watching back to back episodes of the TV Show “New Girl,” used Netflix for the first time, that was fun. So will continue to journal and get back into blogging. On a hike in Orange County there were flowers and horses and an urban forest :), a woman asked me to take her picture and told me “remember everyone loves you,” that was very thoughtful of her, she could probably tell I was in treatment in the group of 6 people around me. It was a small treatment center in a house, there were two men and two women and counselors that split the day the AM shift and the PM shift. The Director of the program was nice enough to be around and pop in to a few of the groups and got to know us, he was very personable, sweet, and kind, I really enjoyed getting to know him. You can tell it was the kind of place where no one judges you, and everyone is respectful of one another, the people there were all going through something similar to differing degrees, I was there for bipolar voices, it’s been a struggle this past year and it seems that the symptoms kept getting worse and worse I’m sure you guys could tell. So … I think I’m going to stay off of the adderrall and I’m so proud of myself that I’m surviving off the adderrall right now. I’m amazed, coffee works, my energy is stable, and I’m actually able to function. Usually I go to the ER and they put me in the psych ward, but since the line was so long checked into a residential treatment program instead, first time. -Im hoping to go back to work, have been going on my walks everyday, need to diet, am meeting with a new therapist and getting a new psychiatrist soon. I’m looking forward to getting strong this year, will continue to blog and track my progress and share everything I learn as I go and hopefully that will be helpful to you too, the reader. So thanks for reading along, appreciate your support and likes, and never give up, if I can get through this chapter in life, so can you! Talk tomorrow.

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