There Are No Do-Overs in Life …

anonymous female tourist photographing seascape on sandy coast

#laxcourthouse (Day 10)

You get one chance at living life, and the life that you live is by what life you create for yourself, and that doesn’t always mean that you’ll get along with everyone, or that any punishment will be deserved, its by how people feel that you get treated in life, whether or not you are presently in their life, or able to be apart of your life, and its usually someone trying to be in your life, who then tries to end your life, or make everyone think less of you, why its important not to change to accommodate hate, or allow the words of others to affect the conversations you hold in public or around others. There is a point of not being able to be helped. And that will occur when there is something about you that is disagreeable to the taste of another, and no one can help you past the point of you giving up, or when you stop trying to do you best. There are limits to acceptances in life, it will be by how others want people to see you in life, and that you cannot control, someone trying to destroy your life to cause people to look down upon you. That’s something that a legal education cannot change, a relationship cannot change, therapy cannot change, IOP cannot change, or hospitalization cannot change, the ultimate effect is to cause you to not feel stable not like yourself, and its when you sound negative, look grose, seem unintelligent or stupid, that others then treat you like you don’t deserve to be well, you don’t deserve to sound well, or graduate from law school on the basis of your ability to love, be loving, sound sweet, or be in the lives of others, past rejection, if anyone thinks there is something wrong with you, its hard to live life, that’s not forgiveness that’s required, it means not to focus on who is upset with you or does not like you, that’s called obsession, trying to figure out someone else, and that’s what generates the impulse for attacking you, like you are thinking about or paying attention to someone who does not like you. So Im not sure what the solution is, for staying well. Its clearly not being nice to everyone, and its clearly not by fighting. So if there is a diagnosis, its not that everyone knows me and loves me, its that everyone is doing okay, and not bothered by me, when you treat me like Im supposed to be known, or treat others like they are supposed to know me or care about me, that becomes an unwanted feeling, that no one wants to be responsible for, the causes for upset or dislike. It will usually be someone who convinces everyone that you are not who you say you are by resume, friendship, or schooling, or messenger, then make everyone think that you’re a sex addict, or like people who don’t like you, if Im scared of everyone, Im not aroused by anyone, and if Im not friends with anyone that means Im not comfortable with anyone, and if Im not making money, that means I don’t have a job yet, have no gotten a job yet, was not in a condition hireable, and am now after 9 years of working on myself am again not hireable, on the basis of a personal or private relationship not working. So the issue is victimization, when people think that youre a bad person, or impulsive, or trying for things in life you don’t deserve like a job, that’s what makes people think they have permission to play victim and then treat you like youre mentally ill or psychotic, and that’s what causes someone who thinks that youre trash to feel good, when you don’t sound pleasant, when you don’t sound smart, when you have everything and seem unhappy, or when you have improved, and then you sound like youre not happy, and that’s to make you sound jealous, so that others stand out as normal, so that you look and sound like you are not normal, and that’s what causes the discomfort, someone who no one talks to, who is made to appear like I don’t have it good in life, and then when you sound like you don’t deserve to live life, that’s when another treats you like you don’t appreciate them, and that’s how you get ignored when a man bullies and rejects 

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