Hurdles, Fixes, & Hooking Up …


When is it a good time to move on? Ive asked myself this lately, sure its okay to be an open book, and let people walk in and out of your life, and move on without you, but what about you, what are you supposed to do in the event, that you don’t have a life of your own, and have not moved on, should you see that ex again? According to, “It’s almost impossible to escape a breakup unscathed.” [1] So remember when it hurt and on what basis, and remind yourself, that if that’s how the person sees you, then there is nothing you can do about talking to someone who does not believe in you and does not love you. That open space to get to know people, is them not knowing what has happened post breakup, all those indecisions, all those mistakes, all those failures, all of that is based on what you choose to focus on, the hurt, reinforce that belief toward you, or prove them wrong and live a better life for yourself anyways. I think the career as blogger is not understood to most, if you are doing something with your life that you are proud of, and getting likes for your work, then that’s your pride, and if someone doesn’t recognize that as a job, then they don’t appreciate and value your life as a writer. All respect takes time, and it seems like if you are not earning a paycheck and making money, that you get viewed as less than, or a loser of some sorts, Im sure there is worse and Im sure that I am not that, addict unemployed or mentally ill. I think I do my best to stay upright. So what was my basic decision made to move forward: I started dating again. Why did I start dating again, its one of those things if you keep thinking about it and it gets worse, probably means that that’s not the right person for you, in life, and its better to think about other things in life, especially not anyone who hurts your feelings. That seems to be the go to strategy for anyone, who expects you to be more well, I don’t think that people understand mental health issues, first of all its COVID, second of all there are riots, and third of all Im on heavy meds, so if its not about you its not about you, and that much someone outside of your life has to respect your limitations in life, we are not all these bottomless pits of love, everyone wants a provider, I think that blogging provides enough insight into my mind, that also does not require me to give my heart to anyone who is insulting me and hurting me, and that change all will notice, when someone is forcing an ideology on you or an impression of what they think onto you, and expect you to speak it, but never admits to be the person, who is trying to pitch words or statements to get you to think about them or what they think about you in life. That’s raising the bar in a negative direction, for what reasons do the times fail, for what reasons do relationships fail, and for what reasons does fighting occur. There is no underground campaign, or system of thinking that is secret within me, everything I have ever thought about in my entire life, I have written and put online, that’s how I was ranked high on Alexa. So while it is important to go by one another or what we see, that doesn’t mean devalue someone who makes you feel included, makes you feel big, and makes you think you know more about life. There is not much to being respectful of someone who spent their good years on you, and that much you have to respect about any woman, who is being a wiser decision maker, and not rushing through life, by impulse, which is what the timing of bad decisions is made up of, rushed decisions, that hurt in the long run that cause more problems than solve problems in life. So what does this mean, who I am choosing to date, is based upon all those misunderstandings and mistreatments of me, I don’t have to put up with being treated as small, or treated as though I have any secret misunderstandings about life, I think if bad things happen that’s a good time to step away from everything youre doing, including who is trying to love on you, who wants to be with you, or who wants to change you, there is no better place for me to be in life if I am not well standing exactly where I am right now, there is no push that is needed, there is no heckling that’s required, if Im not functioning able to move forward, then its not about likes dislikes and ability it means sit at #laxcourthouse for 30 days, until Im not sick anymore, until I get my clarity back, until I no longer feel a fight toward me, and that’s how you get your power back, not by replying and engaging in the banter, over who is mentally ill, so long as you reply to it, that’s how you get sick, why its best not to respond, and not to get sick. As a result I have a new diagnosis, ansd that’s because I was pushed over my edge in life, hospitalized, twice, so no that’s not a disappointment to who is trying to fight me, that’s a disappointment to me, that was insulted and got mental illness, and sounded stupid. I was nice enough to share my story for free, I don’t deserve to be treated as thinks shes famous, I am important, I am of value, I do have a great blog, I do care, and I do prevent, how dare anyone tell me that what I am doing with my life, is the cause for mental health issues, its by insult!



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