addiction, autobiography, beauty, bipolar, blogger, body image

How Perfect Do You Need to Be …

me too printed paper wall decor

Today is my birthday and it wouldn’t be a good day not unless I have something to show for it to show that I value myself value the time of others and appreciate where I am all the basic stuff that comes to mind when you turn one year older and pause on a good day you should be grateful for being here and taking the time to make the most of a day that was especially made for you, your birthday. When there’s no enthusiasm and no excitement yeah that’s coming from you and it’s nothing to be ashamed about feeling a little down or sad and to not know the reasons why especially on a day that you should be happy it’s the only day if the year when others are made to think if you and you are made to feel special by those who remember your birthday and take the time to reach out to you and let you know that they are thinking if you how special is that sometimes it’s the small things in life you shouldn’t take for granted at least someone is thinking of you I think to myself … above all else that could be bothering you don’t forget who you feel glad by no matter who enters your life and creates anything complicated for you emotionally or self esteem wise not everyone will make you feel good that’s not a personal issue it’s anyone you don’t have the time or energy to change adapt by or accommodate anyone who expects forgiveness forgetfulness or unwanted advances from that’s not your job to approve forget let anyone get close to you and steal your comfort and sense of peace that’s not what people are for letting you do or say whatever without repercussion where is the forgiveness in that someone it’s not working out with hurting you so that nothing works out for you what’s the point of living life by another’s unhappiness anyways that’s not always a persons job to be okay by another who doesn’t respect when someone’s doing well make anything about themselves included in what’s working out for you in life. Nothing comes free in life including feeling apart of or being made to feel special. -Today the wind may be knocked out of my sails I may be heartbroken and not my usual self absent minded problems or issues and that’s not a terrible feeling worth crediting anyone — so that’s the uncool part about life who is cool by you who makes you uncool that’s someone fixed by your response who in turn makes you feel sick not like yourself and not feel good in your own skin. Why should they ever need to happen on the basis of what anyone wants in life if you can get what you want from someone else then don’t hurt someone to get what you want to feel like yourself, if I want so easily affected I wouldn’t be on so many meds just to accommodate another attacking me on the basis of what I have to say. So that’s not letting anyone trash me that’s not what I’m for to suffer or get sick talking to anyone I don’t want to talk to and who makes me feel sick or worse off to mention there are other things to talk about in life other than one persons problem with you.

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