What’s Offensive?

I think anytime you’re online you’re bound to wind up saying something or appearing in a way that another does not approve of this is how intimacy fails on all levels private and public for that matters it really hurts your self-esteem and really worsens any condition of confidence achieved in doing the right thing and making sure that you’re not bothersome or going through some difficult imagined legal battle concept wise that you need to speak to a judge or attorney for that matter let alone a DA, I think Ive always done my best to stay out of trouble it’s not something you think about until questioned this is why not going out alone drinking, or being under the influence of any narcotic bought on the street or through friends is a smart move, we have so many choices now and affordable care options through apps to not have to risk our freedoms in life traveling or visiting the world and being around people hopefully no one learns this the hard way or has to recall what their life turned into upon drinking that either was worth meeting others in life or not worth the experience being talked about I think what makes you a loving or proud human being is to be accepted and you can’t accept everyone to love everything about you knowing everything about you or not knowing anything about you we have all had lively moments in life where we have met people been interested in people or not found anything interesting to talk about with people that’s not a choice in life what you have to talk about with others especially what you have experienced in life and able or willing to talk about with others, we all lead different lives and we all have private lives I don’t think it’s ever been appropriate to put anyone on blast figuratively, or mentally just to see what their true colors show whatever the issue is we have been through so much over the past few years and mostly recently for me it’s been about race, ethnicity, identity, associations, respect, value, treatment, annoyances, personal history, interactions, dating, friendships, or discontinuance of living life ie working being social and attending AA meetings. I can’t say what it is but if it’s a non issue now that either means that at the time I was going through something and treated that was the right decision for me you can’t always chose how you feel after you go through treatment for me it’s not jumping back into life and picking up where I left off before I got sick I think each time you are made to battle mental health issues that affects you and everyone which makes going through anything embarrassing in a public way not beneficial to my health or an appropriate form of publicly announcing who I am or what I’m about based on diagnose, need, or mental health issue, we can’t all size eachother up in life, I think the less you are bothered by others, the more you experience life without being held down or disappoint people who ever thought highly of you or think less of you based on what your addictions in life are, I don’t think blogging is one of them, for me that’s working toward going back to work what was thought a necessary tool so that whatever my life was like I can be around others without feeling like I have nothing to say or a lot to say and not able to stand talk get through it on my own, being insecure and not socially confident really affects how you’re able to help others and interferes with your recognition of what’s of value to talk about this is how public speaking improves overtime in terms of how you’re able to help others in a way that people can respond positively to you, I don’t think you can be taught about where to start telling you’re story or what’s important, the fact I talked about my first fight with my best friend growing up in AA “driving her hot wheels car away,” clearly I was getting to an issue of disappointment that really affected me being sent to rehab in law school, depending on where you are in life, starting over just means regrouping, alone, time, thankful for who’s around in spite of what you go through, I think if you’re lucky people are more accepting than you think it’s funny in a good way maybe not in a heartwarming uplifting way for you, but everyone gets a chance at being detective to your problems in life and it doesn’t change the fact of who gets hurt in the process of overcoming any poor choices medication wise, relapse, drinking, or hooking up, what’s hurtful and “offensive,” is when you mess up in life and either allow for your life to get worse and affect others, or don’t do your best not to let your life be ruined or destroyed by “experiences” in life and do what you can to live a normal life “go back to law school,” and not get too lost exploring life I can tell you no one can give you answers in life that’s sharing your mind that’s what life is about being confident in what you think or have to say and not put that pressure on anyone to hear “bad news,” or “problems,” and be traumatized or affected by what happens to you in life (I’m 36) there’s never a problem too big to report or simply tell your Mom or friend, what’s funny or not funny to you doesn’t matter as much as being open honest and do your part to make sure no one is harmed in the process of you undergoing a down in life whether that’s recovery, breakup, poor response, issue triggered, reuniting, dating, you really have to be in a good place in life to talk to people and that’s everything worth improving for, no one expects you to know everything what’s “offensive” is also anyone expecting another to assume or know any reason to not be comfortable or be made uncomfortable or “shocked” by something happening to you that if anyone heard about would be upsetting that’s why “getting hurt” is one of those things you feel stupid, you look stupid, but life goes on, you can do your best to go backwards and write letters and show appreciation for people you’ve lost contact with the best way to be able to talk to others is to know what your problems are start somewhere have something to say no matter what the issue is most of my conversations with old friends are now (in recovery) sorry I was not able to connect going through a lot but I recognize your effort to be strong for others vocal and say how that helped you, for me I’ve had productive conversations with people past when I can remember something about them that I learned something about in life realized for myself, that’s how to approach the past when you’ve matured not going through friendship separating addictions or illnesses in life, to maintain friendships what’s “not offensive” is to text be supportive try no matter how distant, what is “offensive” is to not recognize how far they have come without thinking twice about ever being hard on you or questioning your health those are friends who care sometimes the ones who make you look at yourself or ask yourself whether you are the same person you were or have changed for any reason for me that’s not offensive it’s means “in the selfie world,” to pay attention to moments when you become distant or hyper focused on the wrong things in life made to be serious defensive or quiet that simply means ask more questions, be less skeptical, talk more, and not try to handle all your problems on your own, that’s always led to situations of being unhappy, lost, drinking, being alone, or self-harm which is either what you’re doing isn’t making you feel good “being stuck in a problem or mode of thinking,” (based on my personal experience), or able to be social without the added discomfort of being too opinionated about what’s bothering you and being more accepting of others as you go through life, it’s by wellness that you attract people into your life and by chance being out and about, and it’s through addictions or poor attention to friends (noted: not to ignore friends at the bar introduce don’t wander, mentioned once), the less into yourself you are (feeling important but not there yet in life) the more you appreciate important moments in life when you had friends there for you through difficulties (it’s when you stop trying in life that you have less whether that be friends, girl friends, guy friends, relationships, dates) life is the work you put into it, so it’s okay to be picky or going through a lot we have all seen the phases what isn’t “offensive” is being alone I’m sure no one wants to worry wants to be successful too so if we can all get back to a place where we can put up our “welcome back signs,” sure it would be a blessing to be a friend or girlfriend in life, that’s what blogging is about, continuing to live life, wrote a book (accomplishment that made me feel smart helpful knowledgeable even if it was half out there), and as you become more “accomplished,” skilled blogger or writer THEN you become important and once you become important THEN you have to make the effort to have a life get jobs talk to friends and recognize that when you are doing well (37k viewers) that’s a good time to pause think (how to stay well) what’s important (book or not?) and not be offensive “concerning the time and energy” or others that’s best spent on their own lives, that’s what having a life is for, I always wanted to work “to have things to talk about,” still viewed as “mentally ill,” but you know what is smart these days, so long as you are feeling good speaking thinking writing eventually you accept you what you have or don’t have in life and maybe if you’re lucky “people with lives” will come into your life and motivate or inspire you to do the same for yourself, it’s not a big deal … friendships you live and you learn no life is perfect, I’m just happy I’m in a public space that anyone who wants to check on me can without having to go through the hurtful awkwardness of what I went through talk about just so glad that in crucial moments in life I flew to DC walked everywhere alone and went to a baby shower missed my first Brady meeting and that neighborhood got a new curb! Just be glad that it’s only you, that’s not being offensive, let’s not make life out to be easy or purposefully painful and confusing by any amount of story telling if I didn’t have great friends in life I wouldn’t have a top blog and 67k viewers again after 17M viewers at the beginning, be commercial it’s worth it!

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