Today is no different than any period in life that requires you to both think about everyone and yourself, hopefully we don’t need to be situated in life to be made to think for others or ourselves when it counts, and that’s what separates the weak from the strong, no matter who is affected or for what reasons, having taken recent events personally or on a professional level grown concern, we all have our place in life, lets not forget when it matters, to speak in a helpful way. I think recent disappointments can cause an automatic stress to anyone, not that our problems aren’t celebrated or normalized in their own way enlightening to not be so hard on ourselves, not everyone is afforded that opportunity, to think light, so if you are in that place in life to not have to be hard on yourself, in the face of others pat yourself on the back that’s a huge achievement to get to be strong for others and not affected, I think that’s a strength in character, being able to handle life on lifes terms, we were not all made to handle the same stresses in life. So what matters is that you don’t harp on the past, or what was not done to the best of everyones ability, right now is about what youre focused on now or past that is keeping you from doing your part to be mindful and to not allow what affects you to affect others, and this is why I think they say that in order to help others you have to be able to help yourself, this applies to my recent struggles, I don’t think that anyone is going through an easy time right now, and god bless the high functioning people who are capable of thinking freely and being able to be there for others and help people make decisions in life if they are not readily capable to make decisions for themselves, whether that be meds, legal issues, or socialization reasons, not improving to the best of their ability. If there is one thing I learned in treatment is that without a phone and computer, and on new meds, off day meds, life is slow, all periods of recovery require therapy, talking, sharing, thinking about life, participating, and being around people, and that’s not easy for everyone, me myself included, its actually a very uncomfortable experience to not be doing well in life and to be around others, which explains why blogging has been difficult recently, adjusting to new meds and different treatments and struggling through that all, to find my happy medium, whether that’s functioning to the best of my ability, able to work or not able to work, I think you are given time to later make those types of decisions for yourself. What makes life hard is not talking about life and remembering everything, it’s a wonderful experience to reflect, whats more important is that you understand the value of your experiences so that you don’t continuously experience symptoms or reminders of traumas, through discussion of any experience painful, and that’s the main lesson with self-harm or hospitalizations, although your problems may go away, if you talk about what led to mental health issues or bad experiences in life chances are it will happen again, that’s just my experience things not getting better, worse, and that was a tough pill to swallow, that you can overcome so much and then go through it again, and while the result may not be the same wellness or strength, you do have yourself to recognize what you are or are not willing to being you down in life. So in going through difficulty no matter what it is, remember to consult a doctor, remember to go to therapy, remember IOP options and AA options, and do your best to not be too hard on yourself, I think when I have done well I have not shyed away from opportunities to better myself through group therapy environments, that’s the happy recognition that you are not alone in your problems no matter what they are and youre lucky if you are able to find and get used to attending any support group that you allow to get to know you, help you, or help you to make decisions for yourself in life, that’s the purpose of talking to people through difficult times, running things past people, getting permissions, getting advice, or helpful feedback, it’s a very competitive world, so don’t exhaust your resources in life and know that everyone is doing their best, and when you start improving and trying hard in life usually that shows that you value yourself and others enough to not continue down any path in life that no longer serves you or others, that’s the addiction component to being stuck in your own head or problems in life, so whether my Instagram represents progress or influence, I think the improvements always speak for themselves and the rest will always be left to controversy, what you have done well maybe not notified of by compliment or thankfully stats, but focus on the relationships you do have in life and how you have been able to improve your communications with others, that’s the most important part to having a life, being someone available to talk to and also being someone who is nice to hear from, those are basic goals in life to have when giving and receiving help from others. -So what am I doing right right now, on a new med, after taking another new med, and while it might not be my preferred length of time in treatment or recovery I have done my best whether or not I was able to participate on a consistent basis, or relevant basis, you try, even if things are not perfect. And what I am doing a better job of is not having to disclose everything that is going well for me privately or in therapy or psychiatry, romantically, or socialization wise, AA attendance, all of that needs to improve in order for me to have a life, and those are good goals to have in life whether that happens for you automatically or by an extended effort, we are all capable of losing what is going well for us, hopefully not by sharing online, or being too open on a personal level or what we are specifically doing for ourselves each day or others to be helpful, I think at any rate at this moment in time all wellness is of value whether or not you are willing to share or putting yourself at risk of harm or subjecting yourself to unnecessary criticism in life, by what you have to share online, and be affected in the negative based on what you have to say being helpful to others at a time like this, or only doing yourself a disservice in life. Sometimes the more you have to think about life, probably means the less prepared you are for losing anything of value to you, whether that be a story, interaction, person, not everyone is strong enough for negative feedback or criticism, and this I learned the hard way, its not worth it, its not worth the discussion, opening up, sharing your story, on any intimate level it just does more harm than good to your own stability, and in the end whats most valuable is your ability to stay well and interact with people and be around people, whats not important is what you remember or what you have to say in observance about life, maybe at a later point in life that will matter, but whats most important is that you value and appreciate where you are in life, what you have left to live for in life, and not be limited to problems caused by discussion points or story either empathized or not to be any set of terms to weigh your livelihood productivity and value as being any less than the effort you have put forward to improving in life, we cant explain all the difficult moments in life, and there will not always be answers to your problems, or set backs, whats more important is to get through life, without having to explain everything that youre thinking and going through just to get to the next phase in life, in one piece, that much I never expected would become a struggle for me, so taking it one day at a time, whether that amounts to the type of strength in thinking or output that’s needed to perfect how anyone else is feeling about life right now, I think that would be asking too much of anyone. So just do your best! Stay strong.