When Will You Be Back? …

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If you don’t believe in prayer, then that’s totally okay. If you blog, whats currently bothering you, or what you may be struggling with, if shared, usually goes away, that’s in others thinking of you, you improving through the problem that it is you are going through. Im not sure if journaling and keeping a diary works in the same way, its not like a system of venting and sharing that relieves you of a stress that you undergo as a result of having certain thoughts upon sharing that would be stressing yourself out or others, but what it is is your tone, what matters is how you share what it is you are going through, so that you are able to improve, and upon reflecting on what it is that you have shared, ready to go, its that ready to go feeling that I think people are looking for, that get out of your seat, on to the next task, drive to a location, feeling, its that you are willing to get out of a feeling or a set of circumstances and maybe sometimes that just means listing out what it is that you are fearing, thinking, or going through, which is what blogging has been for me, one big adventure through the unknown, you wont know what youre made up of as a blogger until you get started, and that’s how you find your true colors. Its such a good feeling when I can share and get likes, I wish I kept better track and did more analysis on what it is that is liked about my writing and stick to a certain style, but I just kind of wing it each day no matter where I am or where Im going, I start from within and share exactly how Im feeling and what Im thinking, which depending on the day can be just about anything. -So when will you be back sign? Means exactly that, when you are going through something things wont get better for you until you get going again, so this is me after walking everyday for 6 days in a row for 30-45 mins, and after just attending an AA meeting. Im really taking my recovery seriously this time, not just because Im a blogger and don’t want to go through a down at the moment, but because Im worried about my health, and Im so glad that I was able to share that with everyone, and as it turns out feel better today, and accomplished another goal on my list of things to get back to doing again, attend meetings. It seems easy, but its not, being around people, sharing what youre going through, being social, trying to date again, I absolutely cant do it all, without meetings, usually before I go back to work I do summer reading read like 10 books, and then start work by Fall, that worked 2018, Im not sure what will work this time. Its some kind of positive momentum that occurs in doing for yourself things that keep you on a schedule, so that you wake up with energy, and you go to bed at night and get restful sleep, the worst is when your schedule is flipped upside down awake at night and tired during the day, it took me awhile to be a day person, Ive been a night owl since college, that’s just how Ive always been studying at night, but in my 30s Im learning how to get things done during the day and be tired in the evenings and lay low, which is okay, but not if youre single, which would make the booty call a journey or an extra med required activity, have already lost one relationship to not being up and ready to go, and that’s okay, you know the right people will come along when the time is right, you just have to be in a good place in life and okay with your condition, to know what youre limitations are, it’s a sad subject actually, not being able to function without day meds, I never thought that I would ever be this dependent on meds, it was not until my 30s that I ever thought about half life, and meds timing off on timing on, or how many hours do I have to be awake, or when this med is over I will be tired and may need another med (which is addiction), exactly, not where anyone wants to be in life, thankfully I have help managing meds, I don’t think that I could monitor my energy otherwise, so be patient, get back to a system of thinking about your health, not are you tired or awake, on or not on, I feel like the standards today are so high, that why cant we just drink a cup of coffee and have everything up and running again. Soon, working on myself. 

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