blogging, body image, depression

Feeling Overwhelmed …

I’m at the DMV waiting in line to get a new drivers license. It’s so important to keep up with all your requirements, still need the Real ID to travel and a passport, seems like when you give up on living life all things fall by the wayside, including “all your requirements.” — Recently I’ve gone through many changes, maybe it’s the new pen pals I keep, I’m extremely anxious and stressed otherwise it’s like I’m scared of all people, that’s being in public I guess it’s a phase in life feeling intimidated by others, it’s like you’re the smallest person in the room and you stand out it’s an incredibly uncomfortable feeling when you can’t just be yourself without worry for what’s going on around you. I guess I’ve never called that anxiety or taken a med for it they just called that stuff bipolar. I don’t really see myself as being the conservative law student I once was, I shop now, I wear makeup, I talk to men I like, I blog, I share photos on Instagram, I seem much more outgoing online than maybe anyone would assume I’m like in person, it’s just being alone you’re very uptight but if you can carry yourself well in public and have good conversational skills well that’s half the battle and so is looking the part. So no matter what phase you’re in in your recovery, or discovery of a mental health issue, addiction, or questions in life know that life goes on – I hate to think that life goes on without you, but you eventually grow out of that phase of needing everything to be forever or in stone or get all those reassurances in life, things will happen for you on your own timing, knowing what you want and being able to achieve those things in life for yourself is a big step, like getting a job, dating again, moving to a new apartment, losing weight, making a new friend, allow all those things to happen for you on good timing don’t force it, including chemistry, if you’re not feeling well it’s best to be honest within reason you don’t have to share every detail of your difficulties in life for others to know whether you’re going through a hard time in life, it will pass, so long as you are doing everything you can to live a good life, not bother anyone, be positive, be honest, all the uplifting things you can say about life will happen for you, you mean think positive? Sure it’s not a personality type, and that energy is real, being upbeat and positive, that’s when you have your future ahead of you, and we all want to experience that clearing in life when the past is behind us and we are looking forward to living again, and experiencing life, and being out and about, trying new things. Depression bugs can get the best of you, don’t let it steal your thunder.

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