book, book review

Book Review: #VexKingBook – Cultivating Happiness …

This is a great self-help book, when it comes to identifying all those moments of pause, when we are made to think about life, and find our purpose in life. Half of life is about how we process all those mini moments in life, which he describes as later becoming meaningful as he found himself as a writer. I too have had many experiences, particularly in talking to my spiritual counselor, since childhood, a psychic, or while in therapy recently, people who are very positive towards me, and always on my side, and there for me when the moment calls for it. We have all had those moments, when we just want to sit back and read a book that reads itself, this is one of them! Not in a condescending way, everything makes sense, and with examples, pretty much directions on how to think about the concept as applied to your own life, this was a fun read. One of my favorites quotes occurs in the beginning of the book, (page 44) “Time is precious and you should be investing it wisely doing something constructive that will make your life greater.” [1] He’s a good example of someone who developed and honed their craft helping others through online blogging, sharing on social media, sounds like my story, that was good to know. There are many different types of people, most of us enjoy those after dinner conversations, or house party chit chats, when someone is spilling their all to you and asking you what you think, I was one of those people, someone that people dish to, and there is something to say about someone who has the patience to listen and to talk to others, its not a built in trait of all of us, especially with all the new rules, “cancel culture,” “critical race theory,” “toxic people,” there are so many red flags to pay attention to nowadays when it comes to where we get our input, who is creating that input, and where they are coming from, I don’t think that most things don’t hit us until later in life, and hopefully we too will become successful examples, of someone who took the time to talk about life, and made others feel better understood in the process of reading along, that’s the end goal, at least for me, that with better understanding of ourselves and others, we will be more likely to embrace those differences, than we will be to shut people out, sounds like the blue book in AA, but its true. How often does it occur that if you have not experienced a problem, that you are made to not feel sorry for or try to understand someone who you deem to be out of control, or in addiction, it’s the label that tells you that this person who is not well doesn’t care about people and only cares about themselves, and that’s by far my biggest difficulty when trying to conquer my own deficits in life, without being made to feel bad about myself, if no one cares, that I can adjust to, needing people and them not needing me, what I have difficulty adjusting to, is being told “you did this to yourself, “ or be blamed for whatever mental health issues, I encounter in my early adulthood development, not be empathized with, its difficult to work and be paid, and the credentials to do so, well that’s not easy money also to pick and choose and invest in what you are going to spend the money on education wise, to get to where you want to be in life, whether that’s a writer, or an employee working for someone else, or be employed and hired to work with others on an individual basis, such as being a life coach, which I have thought about recently, currently studying to see whether it would be a good fit. Most of life wont happen for you until you are completely removed from whatever it is that is disabling you, and while its not always obvious to us, that also doesn’t mean that we should discriminate ourselves from taking on responsibilities in life, such as a being a life coach, or be trained to be there for others on an individual basis. -This book was a good introduction to the helping professions and a lot of things currently going on in our spiritual development, with lots of reminders and pointers for how to think about life in a way for you to grow beyond the experience, and start thinking smarter about the way you think. He reminds is that “none of us [are] perfect,” (page 88) and further discusses that “sometimes we have to take a look back at the events in our life and start connecting the dots. There was probably a reason for each occurrence,” (page 244) and these statements stood out to me because its true, if we spent more time connecting and cultivating moments of “happiness” (page 261) as he describes as a goal to have in life, then maybe we would not subject ourselves, to lowering our standards in the event that we have experienced unhappiness, and not allow ourselves to punish ourselves or let others punish us on the basis of how they feel, what about how we feel. Life is subjective someone looking at you can always expect something from you, and if you are one of those people like me, who feels like because of their education, background, or previous associations, are held to some higher standard of expectation from others, for you like me (not all respect occurs with automatic acceptance of you as you are, sometimes we are forced to appease a higher standard of us, just to be considered not one to benefit from any situation of attention, that is not of our own making, and build our own system for attentions, on a separate basis, distant to more provocative versions assumed). Its easy to feel insulted, when either you don’t meet that expectation or someone points out an area or deficiency in your existence, being, personality, look, or demeanor, that they think to themselves, Im not going to respect this person on the basis of this this or that, because of who she is she should be this this or that, and because she is not this this or that, I will view her in this way instead, as someone who does not represent this this or that. 



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