Its come to my attention that this is probably something that needs to be discussed whether I am ready to have this discussion of have ideas already in mind put to work. I think we all have different exposures in life and there will always be two ways at looking at things.
- Are you respectful or disrespectful in the event of someones passing, if not, are you later being made fun of as though its not your life, or passing, that is being remembered and are you not to be remembered, in the event that you are struggling, which is either on your own accord, or is it on the basis of something you have said then treated.
- Are you understanding of others or do you question others, are you someone who respects the gift of filmmaking and music, and how have you demonstrated that you respect the gift of filmmaking and music, what have you remembered, what have you recorded, and what movies or music have you listened to on record, influenced by.
- How do you later judge your audience reaction, is it to you, is to others, and how controlling are you, do you allow for others to re-work jokes or insights, and how much of that are you a party to, is anything about you, when is it about you, and are you someone who is accepting of how others either control the conversation or shine light onto concepts regarding the conversation, are you someone who allows for people to express themselves naturally, how much of that is about you, how much is that about your audience, or a shared audience intended to entertain all, on concept generally.
I think being who you are, either you are known to be someone who is well liked, or you have a different experience with the outside world, I think the outside world is just as loving as my life in real life, the only difference is with less people in my life, mostly due to schizophrenia and addiction issues, I have no complaints in the romance department, I have always been well liked, or loved, when the time permitted, so that is nothing that I am deprived of love or admiration, I think when you are doing well that’s an experience that you share with others, then there are people who are in relationships or marriages who admire the ones that are in their life, you don’t expect them to sit back and to admire you that’s normal. So whats it with the standards of today, I think on my own I go through a lot thinking that others expect me to get attention, or to have attention on the basis of how I see things, or think that I see things in a way that is critical or does not like the attention that someone from my life receives, I think that everyone gets the same amount of attention, based on what they have to provide, and have never thought that the attention that someone gets has anything to do with me. Whatever is obvious or not obvious is what I allow to make about myself, I think everyone is entitled to communicating with their audiences whether I am in their life or not in their life, and Im sure that people feel the need to communicate to all as though they do know me, and how that has affected them to know someone who has struggled with bipoiar or schizophrenia, its been just as challenging for me as Im sure its been challenging for them, none of which is a product of drinking or drug use, I have been sober since 2014, so what it is now is a matter of judgement, what you attribute my poor thinking or mental health issues in combination with anything I am doing now in life, I don’t think I had opinions on entertainment prior to 2013, I think after the fact its something you think about what can help others, to focus on, that’s not focusing on how things happen in the wrong, and then making that the subject of your philosophy in life, how people die, or how people get sick, and what causes people to shoot others justify, that’s not my intent in studying music or film, nor should it be interpreted that my love for music comes from some criminal defense standpoint of articulating what a shooter goes through who justifies his act by blaming a type of music. So why would I ever be someone who is grose to look at think about or sound like, why would I want any illness to inhabit the body of any person or audience member trying to understand what Im saying or while reviewing my work. Please be careful when assessing the deaths of people who are famous and now gone, thinking that there was some humor to the rhyme and reason of what was found to be successful past, I don’t think that American culture was built on hate, or making fun of a law student in law school while OJ was in jail, whether that was funny or not to some, to think that I was trying to be some re-incarnation of Johnny Cochran, not yet with my own problems in life, only society can judge how things were compared to how things are now, with most of us just trying to live our lives absent minded what anyone negative thinks. What does it sound like when you don’t make sense? I think in arguing with anyone, even voices, it causes me to not make sense, I have always said that fighting causes mental illness, and that’s not a wimpy jab at world peace, that’s a whole hearted deduction on how I have responded in the event that I am attacked by someone who I either don’t have a problem with who then turns on me and suddenly irate, that I will never understand the stakes, but I am assuming that there are some long standing traditions of what is considered likeable to most, and I don’t think that being unstable is a favorable card to play in life, you’ll likely disappoint and upset others, and I get that now. I have never been one to be unsuccessful, an star athlete growing up, and a star student in college and up until law school, I have never been in a single class I was not comfortable raising my hand in and speaking each class, I was that student, who other students rooted for and one even wrote on my Facebook page “I hope you make law a better place,” when he heard that I wanted to go to law school, no one I was close to, so we hope that things will be like that for us later even if we become known by more people, that from afar at least we are respected. So at what point do things change for you, I don’t think that everyone needs to be close to you, but with computers and phones nowadays its like everyone knows you and everyone can see everything so you don’t really have much privacy, and when it comes to your finances, if youre not making money, then you shouldn’t be spending money, and if you are spending money you should deserve to be spending it, and if youre not in a job, you should be working your way toward a job so upon arrival you are someone who is worth keeping or having around.
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