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Don’t Let Hate Overpower You …

Whenever I allow hate to overpower me my spirit feels weakened, I’m more likely to self-harm or become suicidal, over do my anti-psychotics take handfuls giving up in life, or stay in my room for weeks on end, gaining weight, not practicing self-care, and letting myself go and that’s not the way to live life in constant pain or under threat or intimidation from others no matter what the case may be causes or circumstances for you feeling weak or powerless to what you think is being done to you identity theft or online harassment there is a way to get out of a mess and it starts with caring about yourself and not letting problems get out of hand. It’s easy to be taken advantage of in life it feels like someone is physically kicking you in the head and disabling you, your speech is disrupted you can’t speak clearly, you get upset it’s hard to communicate what you are feeling or going through, and it slows you down you have trouble getting tasks done and accomplished toward reinforcing your safety needs and be on top of things again get your energy back. That’s hate, it will rip apart your insides it will make you feel like punching your head in defeat and it will convince you to please negative voices your hearing about yourself, remind yourself that that’s not you that’s them and their thinking of you, that’s not who you are, that’s a manifestation of the feelings that arise in them in the face of you and their need for power to demonstrate or exercising their power over you. When someone tries to overpower your thinking by criticism, ridicule, threat to your physical or mental health that’s them convinced that they are stronger or better than you and to prove that they try to torment you and that torment may be non-stop it’s a belittling annoyance that’s shreds your face in half and drives you nuts into aggravation it’s trying to cause you stroke or heart attack doing something to you that you don’t have control over to disturb your sense of peace that’s aggravation it’s triggers and triggers and shakes you on the inside until your head feels like it’s going to pop off and your body is going to collapse, that’s aggravation and unnerving feeling of disability, you can’t move, you’re unmotivated, you can’t speak, you feel scared, it’s hard to talk about. There’s nothing that you need to do in the opposite that can combat a persons feeling of taking out their anger and aggression out on you it’s because they think that you are less than, or you deserve to suffer, they don’t have respect for you, they’re convinced that they are right or you are defective, or wrong they see their thinking as clear, and can’t comprehend your pain and suffering it’s in your moments of weakness and disablement that they feel strong. And that’s a fight that you can’t win when someone is going full force full power at your head and body and trying to disrupt your mind and thought processes they’re abusive they want to be heard through you, they want to heckle trick and cajole you into thinking that they have the power to hurt you, unearth you, bury you, demean you, you don’t deserve to be in the chokehold that they put you in, no one deserves to be trashed, dismembered, head shot, suicidal over anything that anyone thinks or does to them that’s not okay. It’s not okay to get close to people and to hurt them it’s not okay to use someone mind or body to correct, comfort, adjust or fix your own mind and body, you can do that on your own you don’t need to use someone’s head mind and body to fix or adjust your own bodily composition and thought processes to see clearly all you have to do is be mindful of your own being on earth and not disturb the good sense stability and peace of other beings on earth and injuring me or hurting me is disruptive to the peace and stability of my fans, my following, and my readers, who don’t need to be exposed to a trashed version of me or be convinced to hate, bother, attack, think less of, or throw my body into a trash can over your trash thoughts and thinking about my health body mind spirituality face mental health fitness and intelligence which does not need to be undermined by anyones strategy to sicken the discourse to sex sexuality and body shape or face shape who asked you since when does it matter to you who are you to tell me that I’m not living a good life living my best life and doing my best, who is anyone to sit on their high horse in life and wrongfully accuse me of not taking good care of my health my mind and body to best of my ability. I’ve not harmed anyone, I’m not bothering anyone, I do my best to report, I move forward in life, why should I stop living life disabled suicidal so that anyone can thrive in the right ask yourself why should I not exist in order for you to feel better about yourself like you’ve done right in life convincing me to die or commit suicide self injure or hit my head how does that make you feel better about yourself when I suffer or breakdown and can’t function in disability. I don’t have to live that way, I don’t choose to live that way, and I refuse to allow anyone to hurt me in that way and cause me to stop living life and die struggling mentally ill, that’s not my fault, I’ve done my best to be nice to everyone, I deserve space in life, and I don’t have to accept any threats from anyone trying to scare me saying he’s going to rape me or speak badly of my family threaten to cause suffering to my father. That’s not okay that’s wrong and I won’t allow anyone to hurt me or my family. STOP HURTING ME!

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