There’s a simple phrase “don’t say anything that you wouldn’t want to be said to you.” This is to not only not hurt other peoples feelings good or bad towards you, but also not in the reverse feed lines to anyone who then takes your shoes, and then treats you as though you feel that way towards them on your own, without provocation. So that’s a fight, its starts anyway, and ends with you losing once you engage in negativity, it then becomes a part of you, either stopping you in your tracks or throwing you off balance, not able to be your positive lifted happy self. That’s why using bad words is bad, it reflects a hostility that is frowned upon, carried in you, that represents the idea of being above or viewing others as beneath you, at the same token how you see yourself in life, can be a standard held within another, for the purpose of viewing you as being less than, and so respect follows. Why they don’t allow you to use identities, ages, races, to identify or misidentify the value of people, and not even their beauty these days. When you’re feeling good this is what attracts people to you in life, it means you have overcome your burdens in life to prove yourself, you have overcome insecurities, and you are able to be you no matter who is or is not in your life, and it not being their fault either, no longer of issue, something no one wants to be responsible for, when you are not doing well in life, and lose touch with friends. We have all had unattractive moments, its all about hygiene hygiene hygiene and exercise exercise exercise, and the quiet confidence is about reading reading reading, if its what youre going off of, then you have that choice, what gets replayed in your mind over and over again, assembled, drawn to, then found in your reading, that’s how you find meaning within your reading, its when you stumble upon what makes sense, that brings to light something that you cannot say, or haven’t said, like watching an imax movie, of issues, are what self-help books are, its to help you visualize, maybe whats not happening for you in your mind, those specific thoughts and words, its to help you get the engine going, and from there you can assemble the rest, but sometimes you have to start with something solid, to put together all the missing pieces which are you, the things you want to fix about yourself. This is why education is encouraged, it would be a waste of time overfocusing on one another and creating problems in our minds, if only we could first learn to focus on ourselves, which I think is the first problem of immaturity and poor social skills, not being comfortable in your own skin, okay with yourself, and when you are okay with yourself you are more okay with others, and they can sense that too, its totally not your fault either if people don’t feel okay by you, everyone has look preferences these days for what they like in their advocates of choice, there’s a self-help author for everyone, so don’t stop here. Im sure you will find someone who really clicks with your attitude in life, I know I can sometimes be a drag, or not my positive chipper self, enthusiastic about life. Don’t lose your enthusiasm for life, while most people prefer for me to have a job, I was really into blogging, and it may have seemed like I was getting carried away, but I love to write and perform, and to me blogging or micro-blogging was a form of therapy for self-improvement besides journaling or keeping a diary which I have since I was a kid, so I felt like I was a good fit for the role, of communicating whats going on in my head, not something new to me, a person who has kept a diary throughout elementary school, high school, and college. Recently I have discussed “code” its not something that you ever get over or stop working on, your understanding of life, and how everything works or fits, this is why people float from profession to profession, exploring the world and different career options, there a vast world of knowledge in every profession, and language that goes along with it, such as my MSL Masters in Law degree, I had to learn Finance Law! It was a beast, I would read everything twice, like in law school, until it sunk it, usually the first time around it doesn’t process, but by the second time reading it sticks along with taking notes. Whatever your goals are in life, this teaches you that when you do what you want to do, you feel good, and things work out for you in life, while figuring out what to do when you don’t know what to do, should you fail, leads you to experiment with others career options in life until you find your way, like blogging and writing, which I still have not found a way to get paid for my writing, and earned $400 this year writing for a legal journal online, which to me would have been an impressive job to keep, to illustrate that I have technical skills, and through my training in my Masters, have proven that I did pass courses with grammar tests and citation tests and received As in courses, with the materials required to prepare and write a dissertation. So never give up, giving up means that you don’t feel good about yourself, and because you don’t feel good youre not motivated, and when you don’t feel good and unmotivated you become unhappy, or irritated, frozen, or not moving from one goal to the next, not being a go-getter determined, or impressive to others, when you lose your gusto in life that can be for any number of reasons, that you lose enthusiasm, its especially noticeable when someone is mean to you, you lose steam, and feel overwhelmed, and it becomes a difficult emotion to exit of leave, it leaves you stuck in a position of hurt, that you can’t remove on your own because you feel it, you hear it, and you’ve experienced it, and because you were made to not feel good, you don’t know how to get going and how to feel good again on youre own, and this is how others can be a source of inspiration to you in your life. When you have a goal, its important to understand the distance between where you are and the length of time it will take to arrive at your desired feeling, whether that be a person you recognize as having achieved those feelings, or inspired by people who are removed by the issues your faced with, or people like you who sound like something youre going through, and wanting to sound like them, having gotten through what you are going through in life. The people who have it good in life have jobs, that’s plain and simple, and some of us have disability, or because of getting in trouble, get rejected and face the silent treatment, either being expected to know what we have done wrong, or be treated as though we have done them wrong and should recognize why its not working out, over how you feel compared to how someone else feels this usually occurs at work being paired with women, theres a disconnect, and then the male figure to the office is hard on me, as though I am not being warm to them or considerate or need to be corrected by the male figure who is speaking in defense of them, treating me as though I am subjecting them to overthinking, or saying anything to cause them to overthink, punished for it, if I am deemed to be the one who should be helping others, and not to have problems of my own, problems being something that you get ignored for not empathized with for, and treated as though you should feel good, and should not need others to cater to you, so instead everyone else is catered to and youre not. So liking older is about being wanted in life and apart of the code, older men appreciate younger women, and allow me to explore my thinking and share what I see, whereas a younger man will test me or try to see what I understand or not understand and connect mentally better with other women but not to me, not as talkative, and bonded as they are with other women. So all wanted in life was to be viewed as smart, admirable, and appreciated, not be viewed as doesn’t have what another woman has, intellectually or physically, this is why I initially lost so much weight and became skinny for the first time in my life, it was to get married, and to not be intimidated by other women, who might like someone in common to me, and then feel less than or insecure because I was overweight feel threatened by them. Theres a lot of quiet frustration and silence in regards to men who are sexually attracted to you, who may feel frustrated that you are not doing well in life, or struggling with things like sobriety or mental health, they may have been there, but not to the extent that it affects their career or relationship capabilities in life, men move on better than women, generally. You either have what it takes or you don’t, so when a man notices you, that’s a good sign, doesn’t matter if youre not attracted to them, or they just look at you at the gym or walking down the street, it means there is something “special” about you, and that lets you know that there is something about you that attracts them to you. So that’s all that that is, its not about beauty and weight, for example in my case Im 190lbs at this moment in life, and have a tummy for the first time in my life, so it must be about how I carry myself, which is more about the blog than who I am anything socially, nobody in that case, at this point in my life. When you figure it out, and get your “catwalk” down in life, you feel great, fantastic, exuberant, high on life, free as a bird, with an “I got this attitude,” and then things start to work out for you, I used to be annoyed by the on top it no one can stop us Dodgers personalities, theres a method to the madness of getting jobs, either you can perform professionally irrespective of interpersonal issues, gender issues, social issues, or “your past,” or dilemmas past or current, or you allow all those “no’s” or “Im not sure of myself,” to keep you from engaging in others, and miss opportunities in life, that’s all that is, its half what you bring to the table, and half how a person feels with what you have to offer them, and sometimes its just not a match, it doesn’t matter how successful of a blogger you are, when the “code” calls, that’s something either you are or are not doing a good job of cleaning up, responding to, mitigating issues, to the extent that things don’t happen as much, or upon focusing elsewhere if things don’t happen, then its by what you set your heart on “blogging” is what works out for you and others apparently is the current issue. So this whole issue of someone needing to have you in their life romantically or else, and hurt you, doesn’t make sense to me, I have always functioned better on my own, and it just so happens that when I start doing well Im able to be friendly or flirtatious and take fancy photos, but that took a year of therapy, talking, AA meetings, and group therapy and treatment, and new medications for schizophrenia, which left me sedentary for 6 months, and now after a year, just able to blog for a long period of time writing, finish course work, apply for jobs, and get jobs, so that’s a huge turn around for me someone who kept running to the courthouse like my life was in shambles or my life was over because of something that others were doing to me, I found myself eventually. Don’t let others treat you as naïve like you don’t understand the beauty and the gift of life, that the same things that make others feel lifted, are the same reasons that people feel good connected to you, and that’s a life force in life, that’s what keeps people alive and going in life, for there to be support from within, staying well, and able to provide that comfort in your wellness, to reassure others, no matter what state they are in, relying on you. The gift of writing is for things to come together on your own, then there is conversational connecting, which is either a reflection of you speaking as though they are your audience, or you can speak to an audience without first performing to others in private, and perform on your own talking to no one, which is me now, not connecting with others individually, in a deep way, and being brief with everyone, which is me not close to anyone, you don’t need to be close to anyone to be apart of and get the lifted feeling or normalcy about yourself and the world and how things are going, that normalcy comes from you. The more rejected a person feels, the harsher the treatment of you, they want enthusiasm from you, and should that stop or not feel good, then you get treated as an unwanted connection connected to them, this is why connected presents a risk of harm to you as a person romantically, being responsible for everyones feelings not just youre own, and being blamed in the event, you get chosen as a root cause for the dilemmas of others, should you not be doing well, attractive, thriving in life, experiencing good luck. Im experiencing good luck, Im thriving, Im getting jobs and being asked to interview, my blog is stable, my communication with the police, detectives, FBI, or courthouse, has been quiet, nothing that they can do for me, that I cannot do for myself, so right now working on feeling good, not just because of who I am talking to, or where I am writing, or what I am writing about, be blamed as though its not a condition that I have figured out on my own, what my face and body looks like, and contemplate what is connected to me, how much I am exercising, when I lose face or don’t feel good, and the meds I take, Im sure its not all delusion, if a feeling is being demanded from me, then its my responsibility to carry the feelings that another wants or demands of me, so that they as connected to me, feel good too. So today I am running for 2 hours, to solve the issue of me not feeling good or being blamed for anothers unhappiness or displeasure with me, as though Im responsible as a human being for bettering their physical health or mental health, or be blamed based on the meds I take, like it’s a transferred state.