Originally Published 07/28/22.

I try to be a movie buff, I thought with #directTV I was all caught up, then I got Apple TV and realized that there are so many movies I have not seen and started clicking “save to my stuff” on Hulu. A very special person just re-entered my life and it’s been nice getting to hang out with him again, his pick, he even approves of my blogging, he thinks I should rename my blog “spoiled schizophrenic” -I have really bad shopping addiction, that I’ve not confronted yet, should probably save my paychecks for other expenses like a new computer or something. Save.

This movie had all the bells and whistles of proper advocacy in my book, without triggering trauma and featuring the actual violence with visual evidence of the trauma unfolding we were left with all audio and a beautifully scenic location I’m still not sure where the movie took place, the producer named “Fischburg” sounds like my name, connected to Spielberg.

My ex-boyfriend is a Producer, recently divorced and moved back to LA, he’s been in Colorado where I went to college. Seems like they’ve been experiencing similar devastation fire wise and gun violence wise, hopefully things will calm down in the future, if Mother Nature is not to blame for the frequency of devastation occurring across the map. It’s been an odd period in history, so much ongoing but we are forced to resume life as normal and sometimes that’s hard to do. What about this, what about that, what about this, seems like we have to put all our questions aside at times and just move forward, if there is anything this period in time has taught me is to move forward, no matter who’s around or on board, just respect everyone doing their own thing, we are so privileged to have the few people in our lives who stick around on a consistent basis, always be thankful for them some have no one.

I was one of those people who had no one for awhile, I turned my loneliness and depression into running being a long distance runner, that is how I related to this movie. Usually you’re not running from something, as you can see everytime she was hit with something heavy she couldn’t run or tripped and fell. Don’t we all feel that way trying to get to the bottom of things in life, most feel entitled to know everything that’s just the general public perception of odds and frequency of issues how much of it is related to what who and why that’s something I would also like to know too.

With schizophrenia you learn to view life through multiple lenses and maybe this is what this movie exposes us to, sometimes assuming the negative sometimes feeling defensive and doing things or saying things that put risk to others who viewpoints and beliefs may be in jeopardy simply for you to be right or to make a point not knowing who you’re harming in the process.

Always think of repercussions and think so the repercussions you expect or try to invoke in others as punishment for your feelings amount to the same amount of pain and suffering you think is deserving of an anguish that amounts to you feeling ignored or disrespected in life. This is common to not respect those expecting to see heroism for victims not in defense of unknown or potential offenders, who is hero in our book.

It would be unlikely for all hero’s to be completely devoid of setback in life or be free from association to who we consider bad people in life, aren’t we all exposed at some point to lesser lives or lesser people and learn to eventually see ourselves as no different no matter who we don’t relate to or understand.

Who you relate to in life is a personal preference, what you find meaningful in life is all about depth perception which is what I think this movie is trying to teach us to do when interpreting a project overall, how is it conveying issues, how does it convey respect, what are the elements to heroism and what are typical fails in this feat. Interference is a great example of failed heroism a defect or a side effect of intrusion this is common to public figures trying to show themselves and their cares they will always be doubted and questioned and there will always be tests for evidence as to the truth of what they’re saying and doing with an expected result a peace, or cease fire, or closure following incidents does what they have to say make things better or worse and why. And who’s interests should be benefited from any interpretation of course the victims come first in all respects.

The eventual decline in all things heroic comes from within, either an aversion or inability to care, also called failed motivation. This movie brings up factors to consider in what motivates you to get going and get things done in the amount of time that you’re give, notice that when you’re heart is set on something things coalesce to meet at that very end point that you’ve been focused on it’s your satisfaction in life to end up where you want to be in life emotionally and physically based on what you put into your life and we don’t all measure up to who we want to be in life, I’m sure that I have failed in some respects regarding how I’m treated or how I look but none of what happens to me can change me or my cares in the world with or without respect I’m a blogger, a paralegal, and now a girlfriend to someone special, maybe not a wife or a mistress but at the end of the road there is always something better to be offered to you if your heart is in the right place.

As a blogger I am uniquely aware of the commitment that is made through writing and corresponding with my audience. I can tell that there is expectation or uneasiness when I’m not writing or blogging and I get that need for constant connection and answer through difficulties in life. I simply do what we are all taught to do in any amount of chaos to cease doing things that people deem not healthy or affecting our mental or physical health. And sometimes that requires space to figure things out for ourselves in life. Maybe not as majestic and scenic as the movie takes place in, but there is a wonderous world of possibilities taking place when we give ourselves time to heal and think it no longer becomes a “groupthink” of stress in accepting a period in time but going by your senses not filling ourselves to the brim with any answers made by Fox News if anything or depleting ourselves of people in our lives, just how many times can you delete toxic people before you decide to help them, I choose to blog which shows that I do not care who sees me or reads me, and being on IMDb means are you capable of pleasing multiple types of audiences without making people feel bad about themselves included if not and so people know how to respect and entertain the majority of feelings without direction or becoming too reliant on you, sometimes we need to follow no one’s lead in life in order for things to go right, this is what #toddspitzer is for, how much of the public is to be held responsible for their exposures its their beliefs and how much of the public’s beliefs and opinions is instilled upon others and how much of what people think should affect us in our lives or interfere with our own best sensibilities. I think we are each capable of healing and achieving quiet and this is what a 5 day break from Instagram produces. Peace. Food for thought.