abuse, beingpositive, blogging

In Plain Sight …

There’s nothing in life that you can’t learn for yourself that can only be taught by another. Relying too much on others to live life to talk about life, does not allow you to have the confidence to experience life for yourself, without fear and with compassion for your learning curves in life. Solutions are stated and perspectives hopefully to reduce the number of negative ways to inform self of what is. 

When a solution is stated this discourages the impulse for empowering the wrong ends in life, to which end is your purpose in life, to inform or take, to empower or bottle, to say as you hear, to say as you understand, or to hurt the comprehensions of others, what ideas you assimilate to in life, shape your success rate emotionally, for feeling reassured by your beliefs held. Do they help make more or less sense of your reality as you see it presently, and what will help you conform less to the evils abound. There are many examples of those led astray assimilating to negative minds, is that the voice you seek to empower, or to the victims of those unhelpful lessons in life, on pain, who should we punish ourselves, or those who assimilate to those ideals in life? There’s no excuse for hurting others in life, whether by crime or words, not unless your statements in life public or private seek to persuade others to feel the same way, where are those feelings coming from? And what combinations of feelings do you attribute to which populations and why for disdain or lack of compassion. What is done to oneself? What is done to others? And how do our beliefs empower or make sick people we convince are delusioned? 

I think prayer texts and bible verses text messaged are delusional messages, making it okay for people to express what they feel needs to be heard at this moment and what will help others. If not your prescribed religion, seems intrusive or an unwanted introduction to feel special by words you have been trained to see as solution for your right now. The same words won’t work for everyone. What you feel enlightened by or clear headed to, won’t be the same for everyone, not a diagnosis, not a crime type, not a news story, not a story changed to communicate what about a person and their standing in life and reality. 

Who is in delusion, the purveyor of a definition to diagnose and treat what they think is wrong with a person, or to cure their own deficits and understandings in life, to reassure themselves that it’s not coming from them, but from a person, and needs to be fixed about them. Who is so perfect in life to designate diagnosis and conditions present in a person not exhibited, with no history of voices or self-harm, what causes one to turn on themselves or others. I think self-destruction is a condition of not measuring up to who you want to be in life, and even if you had more blessings clothes and people in your life, can be torn down by the same presumption that you are nothing without those things and equally as vulnerable to the opinions and words of others.

Sometimes who becomes lost is by empathizing with those who did not make it, and the conditions they faced at the time they gave up in life or encountered risk to their lives and did not make a full recovery. Who’s fault is it for people to be lost, and to die at a young age. It’s so important to relate to others, but you cannot make the well responsible for those suffering from mental illness, that only makes things worse, and from their shoes they cannot comprehend your symptoms, and attribute it to whatever they seek to blame for your condition, drinking, or drugs, or lack of accomplishment.

There is never time to ruin your life, by chance it happens, if you are not being careful, with all your boundaries in place, represented well in recorded spaces to rule out the alternatives for the diseases that you suffer from in life, without a log of all your activity and phone records, and emails, it will not make sense in the immediate what has caused a shortage mentally and diminished performance in life, but this is what maintaining accurate records are for, to keep track of events in recorded spaces, to which you are harmed, and enough check ins in life, for others to catch if you have been harmed how and why and what to do to correct the problem.

With addiction or mental health issues comes more responsibility on the person who is suffering to keep track of their progress, have compassion for themselves and others, and to not go year after year carrying the same weight around in life, and eventually be relieved of the symptoms to which they suffer from, with adequate self-care, treatment, and coping options. Blogging is a coping option for me in life, it makes me feel like I can be there for others to forewarn of the recovery cycle and how long it takes to get functioning again, to give faith to those who were once full functioning, have those gifts in life be found again, and also to provide reassurances to doctors, that although they many think that my symptoms are led by poor thoughts, to record my thoughts and words, so that it is known what is going on in my head, and what about, guiding my thinking or behaviors in life and selfies to record what my face looks like, with those thoughts in my head, I think this benefits my audience.

Why did a recovery center in Orange County diagnose me as “schizophrenic” and why did UCLA 5150 Holds with multiple doctors and nurses reviewing my case in observance of me talking to me never in the 9 times hospitalized diagnose me as exhibiting any of those symptoms. Sometimes I think that those who do not know you well or who meet you have a presumption that you are something that you are not, recognize you are well and think for the wrong reasons, I think this diagnosis was given based upon my problems in life at the time, where I was in life career wise or by schooling, and based upon my social media participation. Self-harm is the result of someone calling you something you are not to see how you respond, and I think this condition of you continues until others feel that they are right about you, to confirm a belief that you are sick, or inappropriate or do not speak well or not well minded. The conditions I had was “voices” and “self-harm” and “online bullying” how does that make me schizophrenic to feel sick by circumstances or the words of another, why is that not real, and how is that “convincing of” there being an actual defect about me to make real anothers expression toward me, thought deserved, I don’t think that disabling me, or spreading rumor about me that “Im schizophrenic” was not a nice thing to do, I think sometimes you get treated to get you to admit to a definition or symptoms, to categorize you as something to do away with the discomforts of others this is in a situation in which you speak well they think that you think you are important, and that’s why people don’t talk to you like you are, or believe you when you say what is happening, or what someone has done to you, although not your fault. An abuse happens when what is controlling you person, or words, makes you feel sick or makes you think by heart or feeling with no thoughts, and that’s what Invega did to me, I could feel and I would not feel well, but I would not be able to speak and produce the thoughts to cure my own problems, and struggled for a year doing less, and still getting voices. It’s never too late, not if everyone is talking about me, not if no one knows me, not if some know me, and not by crimes committed by others, are not because of my story, what I am saying or who I know, is not brought out from me, is not discussed to make a bible of things to go by or experiences to judge or make decisions in life speaking be directed toward others or myself in life, I think that intelligence, logic, and clarity of thoughts, and maturity come from some place else, within.

I called my ex-psychiatrist to tell him that the news said (Haystack) that someone chopped the head off of their girlfriend. And while the audience heard “schizophrenic” and “knife” they thought OJ, and Im sure they took a look at me to see who I am, I don’t represent that person’s disease. He is a minority with a child, who was not homeless, and did not have to work, and drank alcohol, and bought a knife. In what way does calling someone “schizophrenic” provide hope to others that it can be stopped, when you call someone well “schizophrenic.” What reassurance do you get in life by condemning people for symptoms, and the categorize them among people who are known to be criminals, angry, destructive, or obtuse. How do the 17 million people who read my blog, read, if I don’t make sense, or carry disease. If I were inappropriate and if people have bad feelings in life, then why would they read my blog, and what is the purpose for declaring me “schizophrenic” to provide a voice for whom? Him? I don’t represent him, I don’t represent criminals, I don’t represent mentally ill and homicidal people, I went to law school, I am smart, I am pretty, Im getting married, and I write motions as a paralegal. So in what way did that make things better to disable me, missassociate my feelings of importance to an association thought homicidal to wrongfully accuse me of carrying within something that I grew up around OJ, does not make me schizophrenic to prove he is guilty, or try to convince me or others that its hereditary, you are what goes through you, and putting a word through me to not be impressed by my US Supreme Court appearance, is to say that I did not present well, when I did, I was clean faced, I was healthy looking, in a cute outfit sat quietly.

(09-15-22) Note: Removed personal experience talking to someone schizophrenic and have not shared that story online doesn’t serve to help what the issue is right now in terms of which March I was placed on in life to be given a label and then made to feel like I represent those who have not been treated or medicated or rehab for their behavior mentality mood functioning life skills wrongfully accuse me of not functioning on the basis of something I’ve done wrong past as though a disease has been given to me to shorten my life and convince me and others I’m contagious or carry a disease of the mind that makes other solutions or understandings not work in life. To make who or what feel better to be told that what I have to say is not real honest or truthful or an accurate representation of my life my struggle well being or to be viewed in a positive light if it’s not your solution to acknowledge whatever I’ve encountered in life as normal then I don’t need to be made to complain by the taunting in writing or emails intended to scare me intimidate me or papers served thrown at me through a window like I’ve done anyone wrong I think I was smart and didn’t shop and everyone complained I was tired to what extreme was my life dangerous or out of control running at night everyday it was a peaceful experience. I don’t understand why if someone attacks me that they feel good afterward and what is offensive or dumb looking or wrong about how I carry myself my body shape face intellect or personal history.

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