You can make progress, and all progress can be lost, that is what I have learned, all based on how you sound what you look like and what there is to observe in combination and with comparison to how everyone else is doing overall, spiritually, physically, and mentally. It’s unfortunate in this era of being known online, that the direct effect you have and your presence is not calculated to match who you are online, compared to who you are in present life, around people. It’s sometimes not clear until something goes wrong, and that’s when people decide to question, luck, livelihood, spirituality, mental health, clarity, big picture, benefit, circumstance, attitude, realization, and who you are as a fact when considering everything in the grand scheme of things. I don’t think its appropriate to discuss treatment, when my reality is different now, having discontinued work, and in between service providers for treatment. What’s further become unclear is what I am being treated for, and what that has to do with court, and what my problem is, this I’ve learned the hard way having been somewhere for months, and not knowing what was wrong, later determined it was me who was believed to not be with it, or wrong, and that hurts mentally and spiritually. All I know is that court determines what you have done wrong, and while everyone’s opinion of you might matter, and when its possible for anyone to complain, or allege anything is wrong with you, it has become clear that I don’t have control over how others feel, or what there is to complain about, and certainly never imagined, that I would be convinced I’m delusional, then have many people meet me, then convince me that there is something wrong with me that I need more treatment, and for me to get sick again, based on my presence and wellness, having passed without recognition or credit for who I was well and sober. Never in my life have I ever been upset in public, or reacted poorly, or suffered from disability interfering with my ability to type or communicate to others, and never in my life have I ever been confronted on the basis of there being something noticeably wrong with me, or be treated as though I have wronged others, and that’s the lesson in being treated and getting sick, once you are diagnosed with schizophrenia its not longer about what you think, how you feel, where you are working, who knows you, or what you sound like, it becomes an excuse to justify how others feel, to blame you as inappropriate, to criticize your energy and presence, and to blame you for anyone else’s mental health, or livelihood, or comprehension of what is right or wrong, I assure you that I am not doing anything wrong, nor does court allow anyone who has done anything wrong to be anywhere around people or get away with any wrongdoing whatsoever, so if ever there was a concern over who is vulnerable to being hurt it would be me, and I now know that hurting me is a way to make those who worried about me feel better, and that’s what’s being observed. What’s being observed is the wellness, of others, not my own, and that’s what’s determining what’s wrong or who is wrong in the room, or how or what is causing sickness to anyone except me, blame me for a death.

Re: Someone who passed while I was in treatment at Thrive.