It’s not just you, we all go through phases we just have to stick with it, life isnt perfect, you don’t have to get it right the first time. Learn at your own pace. This is the third or fourth time in treatment (not including hospitalizations for mental health) and its something Im still working on, you might not be where you want to be in life but don’t be embarrassed for where you are in life.

Upon apologizing to an ex, for mental health issues occurring on adderrall with fear of disappointing everyone, he told me I dont have to apologize addiction is difficult, and was nice enough to text with me and be supportive. He told me “I’m sure you look beautiful.”

Im thankful, and in no rush to leave here, just doing my best to overcome self harm and addiction to prescription medication, it wasn’t necessary to relapse, but we all make mistakes no matter how embarrassing it is to suffer from mental health issues, you are not alone.

In treatment I met a lot of people struggling too and didn’t feel alone. It’s just the rest of the world Im intimated by. Acceptance following relapse, is maybe that something I have to forgive myself for, before others can, for self-harm and addiction and a relapse on alcohol. I’m happy to improve and start to love myself again, not feel defeated by mental health issues no matter what meds Im on. It’s embarrassing, but just need to do my best.

According to Google, “Embarrassment and shame can significantly impact mental health, acting as both a symptom and a driver of conditions like depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal.” [1] You’ll think about the past, and wonder how things would have turned out had you not gotten sick, that job you left on medical leave, that boyfriend you stopped seeing, that friend you stopped talking to, thankfully they all come back around.

It’s up to you to change and create a safe space for yourself again to talk to others. Dealing with the bullying and moving on. Usually its when we are not doing well people are hard on us, doesn’t matter even if its a stranger, its maybe not the truth, and it hurts, but dont lose motivation to improve and prove them wrong. They won’t get off your back until you’re doing well again, and successful, and its a better life not worried about being hurt, and be able to be in public again and face the world again.

You have to forgive yourself first and foremost for falling off center in life, this life is not planned at times, sometimes we dont have a plan, and just have to go through a system of getting well that we are placed in in life. It’s important to not be ashamed about where you are coming from in life about the way you talk about mental health and your experiences in life. Dont be ashamed of who you are and the experiences that shaped you in life.

Reference:

[1] https://cbtprofessionals.com.au/understanding-shame-and-its-role-in-mental-health/