career, insult, law, love, mental health, Uncategorized

Life Without Friends …

Life without friends is an interesting chapter in life, far from the stability you once had of having a normal life socializing among people you know. Living an alternate lifestyle talking and becoming friends with people you meet online didn’t seem risky at the start but I think it’s turned out to be a very painful learning lesson. That no matter how strong or well you are doing in life people if they are not happy or impressed by you will seek an opposite result to reinforce a negative view they think you deserve. The more you mention your fear the more probable it becomes. Don’t build a team towards you in life and allow yourself to be put in harms way threatened like you deserve it. Simply to be like another it’s you that put them on a winning team in life as though there’s a private club meeting of people who knew me and who think being together without me is causing me to feel left out in life as though I’ve dont this to myself separated myself from society as though I’m not preparing for a return to normalcy. It’s very painful when you do your best and non steer what meds your prescribed not smart enough, not energetic enough, and not your openly loving self, who knows what causes one to go back into their shell. I don’t think I do this on purpose (personality changes) thats something I’ve seen in others able to freely express themselves but that’s not a trait I was given in life to get upset or to question or to not feel safe or to wonder or to think about or to get scared about what people think as though my own understandings about life haven’t been neutral and not accusatory. It’s usually those who fight with you you think about and wonder where they are coming from and why they want to destroy you as though you have not equally invested time and energy loving and sharing a space online in comfort with another like my sense of peace is not important to me to need only exist in the company of another or taken from me as though I don’t deserve to experience peace alone and rest. Constantly taunting me when things are over threatening me, if you have a problem with me take it court, but don’t hurt me and play victim to get me to be one upset talk about things bothering me out lots and then look like the psychotic one needy of men to feel centered and not at my best without a man in my life we all benefit from knowing and meeting people and all separations hurt. Don’t shout stuff at me to affect my good luck in life to fixate points in my mind that are negative end points for me personally to see if my mind generates thoughts about things as leading to a thought or comment planted influence my words my descriptions my voice to be influenced by someone who seeks to destroy me hurt me mentally and interfere with my natural thinking processes like thinking is a game of winking losing or sides or looking bigger or better than to me writing is about achieving peace within and as read not disturbing any progress made by another. Once it gets to the point that working with me hurts means I have been damaged by images posted so that I do not feel good to another upon knowing me or looking at me and all they can see and hear are stories or images that cause them discomfort me not at peace or me in delusion and mentally ill talking about sex problems and beauty and femininity like thats an appropriate public discussion, don’t call me liar, and don’t threaten to hurt me, I complied with all their requests and then some. Nothings ever good enough and they think the more times they can bring up the term “enough” through my mouth, the more important they feel bastardizing my life my face my body and my image online WASTING MY LIFE my hard earned years of life living in peace doing my best to manage my symptoms. But it’s okay for everyone else to go nuts on me but it’s not okay for me to complain? That doesn’t make sense. It’s not your campaign it’s my membership and it’s not your life and you’d body it’s my life my mind and my body and I matter to me and when I matter to me I matter to others.

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