With addiction it can feel like your sense of peace goes on and off like a light switch, everything well to everything not well. Its important to always be in control of what you have to say, and that in turn affects how you feel. Ive been thinking a lot about this lately, what is causing me to not feel well, then trying to figure out what it is that is causing me to not feel well, and to not give up in the process of thinking about how to better myself or my thinking for that matter. It seems that when you give up, is when you don’t feel good, then there is a higher likelihood of saying something which doesn’t make things better, but leaves you feeling behind in life, Im not sure what the exchange rate is to something said to something that feels good, to something that is thought, to something that you cant think of. Im sure that Im complicating things. Where does this insecurity come from, you cant back down from something you have said, that you are later not made to be proud of, that’s scaring yourself, introvert or not, to feel whole, to feel shy, to feel scared, to feel proud, there will be many reasons for feeling withdrawn, it will mostly be by something you have said that leaves you standing whole or not feel like standing at all, tired. What is peace not? According to psychologytoday.com, “Not a peace inside that ignores pain in oneself or others, or is acquired by shutting down. This is a durable peace, a peace you can come home to even if it’s been covered over by fear, frustration, or heartache.” [1] Theres an attitude change that follows saying something that is believable or a turn off, and that much you have to respect in others, by health, made to feel good by you, or like someone sitting at a poker table glance at you and think that youre hand in life is not a winning hand but theres is. People will be made to not feel good by you, whether you allow for it or not, when it becomes a team sport of manipulation all cards fly out the window, and that goes for work, dating, and all likeability. So learn to understand team sports, and yes Im talking about all the passive advances and factors setting you behind in life, people go off information, so everything you put out there, is like a chess move or an action for thinking that they think is for directing their own thoughts about things. So learn to understand and have compassion for others. Notice things not making sense, yeah my head hurts too, so obviously its something that Im saying that’s not coming out right or sounds negative, todays been a short day, so if Im tired that’s where my energy is not on paper, and now this is a different subject and a different topic, and what is said before does not explain what I was saying, and what was cited to does not explain more of what was being said is not continuing, and this is the difficulty with writing, it doesn’t come from a lost place, or realization on paper, its not the words I walk through in the immediate, to disprove or prove what is being said, to say that I am being affected by citation or what I was saying is coming from a place or a person not being described or has caused me pain in misunderstanding, probably. Whats not said? Me giving up, so this is me writing then not saying that Im thinking that others think that Im giving up, then in a writing section, I go from thinking of something to not thinking of anything and that looks like a watermark of something on the outside of my writing that can be seen upon description of what I am saying, and there is the unhappiness, that is thought to be associated with feeling good or going in life, and now I am out of the mood. 

Reference:

[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-wise-brain/201611/what-is-your-sense-peace