Went for a Walk/Run Today …

If you weren’t around for all the action, good, lifes not supposed to be an action packed game of catch up in life, we all earn our stars and stripes in good time, the timing is not as important. Whats more important is that you are eventually given a quiet period in life to think about life, usually during phases, in the interim, or before making a major decision for yourself, applying, moving on to the next chapter, it can feel like pins and needles, but I assure you all that pressure is within you, not coming from a source outside of you, for the most part people want you to do well, so be more forgiving of everyones dull moments, or hyper moments, or experimental moments, it’s a constant learning process, life, and hopefully you get tougher in the process of coming to know your own strengths and weaknesses, and adjust accordingly. Recently Ive been overcoming bipolar, which is responding to negativity or thought inquiry, which doesn’t serve your best interests to build understanding for who does not understand you, or thinks you are not professional or a source of good luck to others, and that’s discrediting yourself and wasting time letting someone know who does not respect you that you are doing your best, its not a discussion worth engaging in in life, repeating what you think is being negative said about you, then once said becomes remembered as something that you are thinking, if its not down in writing, then its not something you need to put in writing, for everyone to know about you as though that’s how your life is, and ruin your future potential enable people to think something they think others are thinking, who are not present online to speak for themselves, as a writer you get to pick and choose which thoughts or impressions you choose to acknowledge and speak to, its your road in life, your timeline, your energy, and your precense, so don’t do or say anything to reinforce a negative impression of you, if it bothers you once, no explanation is necessary even if you did not react poorly that’s how you felt, its not important to talk about how you once felt, once you get better in life, that’s a future with limited potential, based on what people thought you thought or thought you think its just normal paranoia that occurs when people stop talking to one another, that’s doesn’t yet mean that there is beef, or “bad blood” as Taylor Swift would describe, so be careful what you plant in the minds of anyone not made to be sure of you, or to consider it a worthwhile objective to prove you wrong or see you in that way also, its all a matter of consensus, afterall, if anything I said enough times, remembered and by memory I mean thinking its okay to think something if others are thinking that to or have thought that way about you, lifes a lot to do with interest, and if you don’t look interesting not fancy yet, in a fancy school, with a fancy degree, in a fancy car, well then no one would ever think that you possess a quality about yourself that most are in acceptance with, and that’s the issue with doubt, that where it lingers, thought some issue suppressed coming from you, and its not you that are responsible to offset the failure of others to view you in the positive they have themselves to take care of in life, and this is how you create obstacles for yourself moving forward, seem like anyone was ever against you, or that its possible for everyone to turn on you, that’s not how “likes” work on social media, its all about fear, acceptance, and comfort, no one would ever publicly like anything that they ever thought beared some recognizable trait of someone who is only thinking for themselves, if its not something that can be read and understood with a bad feeling, that means cannot relate to your side or the side of anyone who would be interpreting another side to exist which automatically speaks to them without you having heard from them, that anything youre saying is wrong, or with the wrong intent in life, what is prevention? Its not getting to a clamored state, of disorientation, its not a place for growing intensity, or an upper limit, or distaste or pain, or hurt, its not for argument, meaning if you have lived a good life no one will understand where your intelligence is coming from, not if you allow for anyone to think that the purpose for you challenging yourself is to appear better than, that’s not how life works, people who are better than you will always be better than you, there is no jealously in that time away from others, when everyone is focused on their own reputations, that’s not what life is about, looking bad, or creating some fine tuned system of understanding and analyzing your life, to be about what you lack in life, confidence, love, or companionship, that’s something you earn in your down time if you have time for it, its not an automatic skill, to warm up to everyone to smile, to feel like everythings okay, to feel driven socially to want to talk to people, that’s when you are well and have time to check on anyone who you don’t want to be affected in the negative based upon anything detailed by them through film, its about what people understand, its not to chastise someone as being someone who is not liked, the nemesis, or competition for faith in life, that’s not how life works, people are well and able when they are good and ready to perform and to shine for everyone, that’s who gets jobs in life, and becomes popular who everyone is made to feel at ease with, proud of. Whats a good way to interpret anything negative you later anticipate of work yourself up thinking that things are about, and what would be the issuance of a distressed feeling coming from you that no one can empathize with, that’s thinking you have always been this way, I don’t think at 35 I have ever worked this hard in my entire life, trying to stay calm, and keep a normal head on my shoulders, and not allow for a confusion of interests to occur, it’s a very time consuming process to be able to speak in a way that all can understand without being too vague and run the risk of insulting anyone who thinks that you are trying to sound above any issues in life, you are what you care about in life, so long as there is not impetus for attacking your credibility as being unprofessional then there should be no reason for anyone to feel attacked on the basis for their own credibility for what it is they believe to be true about you, or history for that matter, nothing will have anything to do with you, not until you say anything, that would give anyone permission think that you have ever been made to think that hard about something that you would mix up letters or cause syllable to rhyme or represent something you cant just talk about in writing specifically, and that’s when things get out of control, whether anything is being communicated from a place of guilt, and that’s something no one wants to hear about, what is causing you to feel rushed, tired, exhausted, sick, or no one caring for your state, I think we all have our breaking points, and if youre not strong enough to perform in front of others, then blogging may be your best best to stay just the way you are, without anyone worrying why you look tired or equation what youre doing with your life, working and taking as prescribed,, this is my best hand at lfe it wont get any better past graduating, and all the pain endured during all the moments in life when you didn’t sound smart or detailed or go one and on for two million words to demonstrate that your not half gone a drug addict or alcoholic, be proud of yourself that your brain still works, no matter what anyone thinks is smart or feels good it wont always be you, you might not always be the fun one, and that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you. Its something you give up on in life, being close to people if you get hurt, and that’s what changes how you feel around people, or what your needs were and are now, that can all change, but the more you reinforce a feeling trying to explain yourself as being hurt the less compassion for you others have not viewing as someone who is careful, gentle around others, doesn’t come on to anyone, not strong sounding, never mad, never upset, and doesn’t snap at anyone. If you were never a talker in real life, and always spoke well of yourself, a good listener, approachable, easy to open up to, then you would understand having no one like you to talk to during your down moments, its just not the same being on the other side of the coin, but its definitely a state of mind to get yourself out of, as others have, so be understanding when no one has the tolerance to sit with you to go through everything that worries you, or wonder about, that’s when others become distant, you will always be expected to know how to adjust to everyone accordingly the more you become known, and if that’s what sets you apart, that just means that everyone else feels good that they didn’t tell you that they saw everything this way and didn’t want to hurt your feelings, its not a big deal once you outgrow insecurity none of that will matter later and everyone will be open to talking to you, its just growing up, no one really knows what theyre doing and why or what theyre feeling and why, and its probably not a coordinated effort for everyone to think something about you, that you wouldn’t know yourself, so just be strong, remember all the good years, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Whats one way to view anyone who is critical of others, not be affected: “corrective feedback has its place, of course; every organization must filter out failing employees and ensure that everyone performs at an expected level of competence.” [1] So that’s being somewhere that you don’t belong, you either make people feel good, well adjusted, or you have problems, that they don’t have the time for, so that means get organized, learn how to be around people, and learn how to keep a private life, that’s not where any of your problems lie, but be careful not to minimize your experiences in life as not playing a role in what keeps you away from everyone, it will be not feeling good, to be around others, and that’s an insecurity not having to do with what anyone thinks of you, not unless you say anything that can be listed as reasons to reject what you have to say as being helpful, sometimes its best to leave others feeling good, you cant explain to someone feeling good that your hurt and expect them to have any compassion for you, no one plans to not be respected in life and it may not always be deserved, and its by what you internalize to mean to be true by more than just one person, that anything you say thereforeward means less, purpose not supported, and end result with expectation for you to be happy, or better, or stronger, and that’s not what work experience is for, to hurt injure or make fun of anyones reactions in life to things not going well, be smart. 



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