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Avoiding Self-Sabotage …

Make things happen for you in life whether or not you think you deserve better in life you certainly don’t deserve to be held to a negative opinion of you. Sometimes in being considerate we think too much about what others think and wind up accommodating the wrong interests in life, it just so happens that what you can’t get your mind off of if it’s not bothering you to your core let go of it for now there’s always time to think about later, address, or leave things alone for the time being, and focus on what you can do for yourself without engaging anyone in argument over your own faults or innocent demeanor in life it will always be about something over your head when another identifies something wrong with you, why not to disclose your medical history or life story with anyone if you’re still overcoming mental health issues it just causes the wrong people to think they have an upper hand over you in life to see what you’re like embarrassed or off spoken intimidated or hurt, some of that pain cannot be overcome without support from others just don’t go on ranting about how you were hurt in life chances are they do follow take personally and retaliate on you no matter where you are in life, often times those who hurt you most don’t take responsibility for hiw they’ve hurt you or what they’ve said to purposefully inflict trauma and disorganization to your mind and life not ending up the way you wanted things to be: peaceful instead made to fight. To me a fight past embarrassment and ridicule is always best to respond by rising above the less you inflict back the issue the less ammunition anyone has to say that you deserve to be attacked for who you are, what you look like, or because of what you went through hospitalized like it’s about other people’s feelings when it’s your head, mind, and heart that isn’t working in a way that you can be yourself instead made to be noticeably going through something others grow insecure about or think what’s wrong with you is affecting others, explains why most people isolate and stay home when they are not feeling well, who has the energy to perform pretend and explain or assume anyone is watching them close enough to criticize them in the event they say anything they think demonstrates “guilt,” you know it’s my life no matter what meds I’m on and if I don’t feel good, get voices, self harm or become suicidal the first thing to micromanage is what is disabling me causing me sickness making me sedentary frozen intimidated overwhelmed or physically exhausted and hurt. That’s bullying you can’t stop it you can report you can forgive it and you can’t talk about it that just makes things worse then all of a sudden you have always been this way then the way you were treated is excused if you end up worse off or mentally ill becomes the excuse for treatment if you, how someone hurting you is supported by your failed condition or instability only makes them feel better about themselves not at a loss or winning on the basis of their interpretation of you becoming true, that’s their opinion of you being reinforced and others reinforcing that opinion of you no matter whether you improve or not makes them feel good, the only problem is whether you want people to be apart if that improvement sometimes you don’t have a choice on where people stand in terms of what they think of you just don’t assume that becoming worse off is pleasing the crowd that doesn’t believe in you or thinks that you subject yourself to harm by dialogue or photo private or public. What is self sabotage a product of how to work in avoidance of things not working out for you on the basis of what people think or what is done to you on the basis of what anyone thinks you deserve in life a lesser judgment of you reputationally be viewed as less than compared to others – how you carry yourself in public matters online unfortunately how you carry yourself in private becomes the key evidence in treatment of you officially publicly based on how you communicate privately which if exposed can be used to cause others to think less of you based on what you have to say I private and based on what you look like in pictures and why. Once you get judged as an addict that’s how you get treated in the event that you’re not well, sure there will be people supportive of you who don’t think less of you based on how they know you remember not everyone knows you the same and most of how people think of you will be based on what you have to say about yourself, let alone others, how you look, and what your connections and exposures are in life that ultimately can make it break you what your life was then compared to what your life is like now and whether you have ever viewed yourself poorly, the cause of your own self harm or deficiencies in life. I think that’s the joke when schizophrenia is caused for any reasons hereditary or by bullying or too many connections in life or readership to me that’s a quiet respected space the mind of the reader I can’t say that everything I have to say in life is viewed as a respectable opinion on life not if you look stupid or not a careful decision maker. To me people think things are your fault before hearing you speak specifically to what they find to be deficient by your words or attitude think is about something else reading into your words or assuming that something you are saying is about anyone or anything specific that your not putting into words, I think I’m as clear as possible and while my condition may be worse than it has ever been in my entire life on day and night meds, diagnosed every shocking definition of mental illness known to man “schizophrenia” I don’t think it’s deserved to be treated as mentally ill or in need of help from anyone who doesn’t have experience with mental health issues, motivation, getting jobs, having friends, or engaging in romantic relationships with anyone.

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