Finding Your Beautiful Self …

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Growing up I may not have been the prettiest, but that never stopped me from having friends, Ive always made friends easily, it doesn’t matter where I am or who Im with, that’s just my personality easy to talk to, and from whats been mentioned to me recently “not judgmental” Ill have to keep track of when someone compliments me, write down what they have to say in a journal, sometimes life keeps going, and you forget whats important, its those moments that are important, anytime you are given feedback in life, that’s to your benefit to remember what someone has said, and to continue to do a good job being that person to others whether they are similarly situated or not, treat all with kindness is the phrase. So why is makeup important? I think when you get to a certain age, you start to think more about skincare, and health, and hopefully you don’t wait until your 30s to think about these things. I started using night and day cream in college, my mom used to buy me Lancome products. To make a long story short, it doesn’t matter when you start taking good care of yourself, just make sure that you don’t become consumed by what you look like, that’s the lesson that Ive learned overtime, studying my pictures, just because you are able to take a good picture, doesn’t mean that you are focused presently on how that picture is made, so it’s a good idea to keep track. I try to keep a ledger of my workout history, I keep track of the products that Im using, and Im not afraid to change it up, just like your moods change, so do your skincare and health needs, and while you may not be at the liberty to take meds as needed and some things are best taken as prescribed, that doesn’t mean that you should feel limited by what you have either, sometimes less is more is the phrase, to be happy with what you do have. Whenever I have been in the mood to spend whether that’s to have more than I need that’s usually to fill a void, a safety net of feeling, is potentially what you think you are protecting by having more options or more of something, either shopping and buying things in economy size, or twos, some of us are just like that, I think Im one of them. So what is it that keeps us from sparing ourselves from quality in life, why do we spend so much on some things and so little on others, budgeting, its always a huge concern. My best advice would be to first take an inventory of everything that you do have, just like you take an inventory of your clothes, whether its jeans, or khakis, t-shirts or blouses, stuff we don’t wear often, have, but not sure if it fits, keep track of things even if theyre not in use, you never know when you’ll need it later, and this is why to keep things of value in your close possession, the beauty of computers, sorts and organizing our lives, so that we can look back, we don’t always have time to look back, and I know at my age 30, I don’t always remember what I have. I guess this conversation is best used when applied to all the positives about you, you may forget, you may lose track, and you might not feel that way about yourself, but you can always look back and remember who you are, who you were, and based on where you are now, pick up or leave off from the places in life when you knew yourself best, were most proud of yourself, and had the most to look forward to in life, that’s where to start. Give yourself some credit, I know as a 30 year old, you might have less, and you might not be as high up in life as you wanted to be, you might not have the career you dreamed of, success and paycheck to show for it, but that doesn’t mean that youre a failure, nor do the clothes that you wear, or the makeup that you have, all of those extra things in life that you need money for, I only later realized are things that make you feel good, and make you look good, but they aren’t a strong enough component of the daily upkeep required for you to feel good about yourself, the outfit cant make the person, it’s the person that makes the person and the outfit, I guess Im a fan of makeovers, but I don’t think its always about the clothes, it could be more about feeling good with who you are, and how you look, because you have decided to care about what you look like and how you feel. Its commonplace that when you are not feeling up to par to compare yourself, that’s not a bad trait, we are told never to compare yourself, but there is so much learning potential through observation, I know that when Tumblr was recommended to me by a friend, I was exposed to “fashion blogging,” and quickly met all the best, it’s a profession, maybe there aren’t many female bloggers and writers online, and most of the bloggers that you think about are models, that doesn’t mean that each profession is set with a different set of expectations, that’s where the cross-over occurs, note that all content that is published online is difficult to create and present, it takes a lot of work and dedication, and most of the people you see who aren’t in the limelight, maybe that’s not their focus on what they look like, and that’s okay too, I think had I only focused on blogging, then I wouldn’t have a timeline of photos shared that illustrated my progress along the way, it also gave me some experience with what I was comfortable sharing with others. Why the interest in film? (internship) … I think the film industry is fascinating because they absolutely don’t create with the intent of categorizing, limiting, or excluding people from their audience, I feel like they all come to grips with the concept that anyone can see your work, and it could be your best work, and they don’t feel shorted, or different, or less special, simply because someone who doesn’t like them can see them, is commenting, approves, or doesn’t approve of their professional work. Their work is not about them, and its not about their audience, its about fulfilling a role, that void or space being a creative space, that gets filled with personality, character, art, theatrics, language, words, story, imagery, and demonstrates a life through entertainment, that can be watched, thought about, processed, and put together in the mind of someone in view of that work, who assembles and comes to see and understand the world in a way that makes sense to them, whether that’s the intent of the creator, or the purpose of the character embodying that person or experience in time, it’s a space that is being filled, a space that can be watched by others and to me that’s film, its either in existence or it hasn’t been made yet, and that space can be filled with anything you want, any people you want, any time period, and any subject, and the value of that space, is created by the people who take care of that space and bring that space to life, and in turn the value of that space gives back value to the people who helped to create and fill space, and that value can be felt and recognized by them, the actors, their creators, and also the audience who comes to admire them in a different light, sometimes, no matter what is going on for them in life, off camera, and that’s the gift of capturing the moment, and recording a moment in time, the purpose is to create value, either presently or in the future, that upon watching, gives you a feel of what life was either for the time period and world being created, or for the people who came to assume those roles and fill those spaces at that point in time, through film. How does that differ from home videos? I think home videos are people we already do value, they are people that we already do know, and the people who are being recorded, already know who is recording them, and have some distant awareness of the scope of the audience who will be viewing them in that capture, and that’s home video, its mostly intended to be of value to the owners of that content unless it is shared online, which is for a selected audience if on Facebook, or to everyone if on Instagram. So who is an example of someone who doesn’t want everyone to view their work? Someone who is private is not yet comfortable with everyone viewing their work, and being studied, not everyone is comfortable with being focused on, I don’t think that the value of a work is solely based on how someone viewing the work feels, that’s a pretty barbaric way of valuing the quality of a filled space through photography or film, either viewing the creation of not being of value, or even worse not viewing the person in the creation a person of value, and this presents a problem in the home video department, which was generally created to serve the purpose of capturing valuable moments in time, and later became common place to keep track of out takes, or less momentus periods in time captured, not always at our best, that’s the risk with self-documenting, keeping track of your health, and documenting your progress, it might not be something for all to see in the immediate, not if you have not made significant improvements to your life already. So what is the wow factor in viewing the life of someone who has undergone changes in life, positive or negative? I think its about how were they able to survive that moment in time, what is remembered from that period in time, and how they carry themselves now, after having had that experience in life, that’s the faith component, the reassurance that you get from the person, who either did not value themselves in the way, that another has expected them to be in order to value them looking at them, or the person has later come to identify in a way that others can relate to, that makes those moments more acceptable even if common place. So that’s “getting your look down,” it may not always happen in makeup or money, but you will learn to measure your worth eventually based on how you feel, and how you feel, is what affects how other people feel, just like feeling good, looking good, being seen, and being viewed in the positive makes someone feel good looking at you, knowing you, and seeing you, and sometimes if we base our acceptances to a home video standard, that can speed up the process of appreciation of a person, getting to know them that much closer, and witness all the dimensions to their personality, and what they look like now. 

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