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Back to Life …

#bloggingtips

It takes a lot of courage to blog, and its not an easy profession, I don’t think that any amount of connections, are responsible for giving you confidence in life, I think that its by what you do in life that gives you the confidence that you need to move forward. 

Here’s a brief quiz on my interactions in life:

  • Grew up down the street from _____________.
  • Had one playdate with ___________ at ___________ house.
  • ____________ attended my volleyball birthday party as a child.
  • My sister-in-law is _________ who sang a song with _________ at the Grammys.
  • I met ____________ at the bottom of my driveway in high school, heard him laughing.
  • A famous director, ___________, once told me to “look up when youre talking, not talk with your head in your lap.”
  • I worked in Century City for a year as an Intern, whos outlook included ________.
  • I was contacted by a recruiter on Linkedin from what law firm ____________.
  • I was Bat-Mitzvah’d at ____________.
  • I once saw _________ wearing a vest at a Laker Game.
  • My friend in college, met in 5th grade, Father founded which talent agency ____.
  • I went to the same high school as which company ________ connected to Oprah.
  • My Ex-Boss recently won a Pulitzer Prize for which movie ___________.
  • How many law schools did I attend? ____ and what type of degree did I graduate with? ______________________________________________________.
  • I went to college at _____ a voting member on Wardenburg Health Board.
  • In which grade did I run for class President _____?
  • I once sang a co-solo at graduation. (True or False?) _______.
  • I was captain of the soccer and volleyball teams. (True or False)? ______.
  • I was awarded Best Female Athlete of which graduating class of _______.
  • How many jobs did I have before deciding to become a blogger? ______.

This is me analyzing me over the last 10 years, when I moved forward and what caused me to regress, or achieve less in life. When youre new to blogging, when everyones new, it initially started out as a comforting environment, where if you reached out to people, you were replied to, that’s when no one knows you, or if they do know you, youre not clear what for, that’s being welcomed into a new community, Im talking about Twitter. Just because you are comfortable where you are doesn’t mean that you stop being new, in fact blogging is the one place in life, where everyone can know you, and you still have to remember that you could be new to someone, so to try to be reassuring in a way, that you continue to introduce yourself, what youre about, and share some consistent meaning and purpose behind your work, and your motivations for blogging in the first place. I don’t think that anyone starts blogging with the intent of aiming for certain numbers in life popularity wise, I think its all experimental up until the point that you get positive feedback. There is the world of people who read online, and then there is your audience in real life, generally when you write a lot the tendency is for people to assume that there is something wrong with you, and if you do share a lot, for it to not make sense, that’s sharing how you feel when you are not feeling well, I don’t think that blogging is that, I think that blogging occurs when you are in the mood to talk to everyone, and you have something positive to share, you cant start writing without an idea in mind, for every post that I have ever written I have started out with at least an idea, a headline, a title, and if that is all that Ive got, that’s where I start, for more upbeat moments in life Ive made outlines, or list out ideas of things that I want to talk about and try to mention, but like most things in life you have to play it by ear, meaning that you not only go off of how you are feeling, but you also have to go by how others are feeling, much like a conversation, its not just one person talking its two or more people talking, and there are moments when you have to listen and also moments when you have to speak, and the goal is to be paying attention to one another long enough that the other feels heard, that’s not ignoring one another, and only listening to yourself. How important is what you have to say? Just like any conversation, does what you have to say show that you are paying attention to the general conversations that’s are being held around you. It might not be clear that this is what there is to like about bloggers, but if you hear a few tips on conversational skills maybe you will begin to see the parallel. According to mindtools.com some “important skills to use while speaking to others” includes: “plan[ning] appropriately, practice, engage with your audience, pay attention to body language, think positively, cope with your nerves, and watch recordings of your speeches.” [1] Notice that some of the most popular bloggers have great people skills, not only are they comfortable with themselves, but they also are easy on the eye, and easy to listen to, not tiring you with their words, but also trying to make you feel comfortable thinking and listening as they are trying to guide you through what they have to share based on the types of services they have to offer, that’s not sales, that’s inner work at play, and to me, that’s something that takes practice. Whether youre new to blogging or not, you will definitely have that moment when you look at yourself, and think will this be an image that is easy for someone else to look at, maybe not everyone will love you, but appearing in a way that appeases most is a good goal to have in life, no matter how rebellious you are feeling, stick to some standard and that begins with your comfort level, and that’s where the cookie crumbles, are you being adult, are you trying to cater to all ages, eventually you choose your path, either limited by dislike, or continuing to promote yourself in a way, that you are comfortable in knowing whoever has viewed your work, not disturbed by the fact that anyone is judging you in the negative, you cant control what people think, what is in your control is your content, so do your best to please yourself not others, that would be my best advice based on my own personal experiences sharing content, don’t make anything that you wouldn’t feel ashamed to be exposed about you, write in private like you are writing in public, and speak in public, like you are speaking on the news or some other more public outlet, that would be my best advice for bloggers who are working on getting comfortable speaking online. Set some rules for yourself, and stick to them, there will be plenty moments along your path where others will see ideas in you, that happens, and Im sure that many ideas pass across your mind, that you don’t end up developing or sharing, that’s blogging, there are many paths that you can take sharing wise, its all up to you what are you about and what are you willing to put online, its not a permanent space, but you never know who is watching and keeping track, so if you cant keep track of your own work, don’t expect for anyone to keep better track for you, in summary, your summary will be different from an onlookers summary, so always think about that, for example, your Instagram, if it only makes sense by time period, if you took a piece from each time period, would there be enough information, to illustrate what youre about, could someone get a feel for who you are based on looking at one post, how much effort are you putting into each post, and what will the manner of your content demonstrate about you, what will someone think based upon either a limitation or elaboration of words per post. When I first started I used to be every detailed, on Twitter it gets like that, you learn to maximize your potential per post, when the options where first made available it was fun to use all the features, that’s important, eventually all the features will become commonplace, so don’t be afraid to use the extra space, make the extra hashtags, learn the re-blogging features, utilize the link space, post the pinned post at the top, make videos and sort them on video page option, the more sorted you are overtime the more organized you look, and I think I have benefited in that way, with a larger audience than most, when I go to distribution, because its easy to review and accept, and while the process may seem time consuming and disorganized to comprehend how much saving, re-saving, screen shots, and timelines that get kept along the way, it will all be worth it, to you and to your audience, who wont have to try to think, or remember, it will all be sorted, categorized, and searchable, as a proper blog should be, not just having the content worth the read, but also able to find the content within your content that interests them, by subject, which I think is the current direction of blogging, not necessarily a directory quite yet. That’s what gives your blog value, not only the time spent in what you create, but also the quality of your effort in keeping track of your content along the way and how you save it, you know your audience might not see everything that goes into what makes you a successful blogger, but you do, and why does that matter, because its you that needs to show your face, video, photo, and write, so if you don’t feel organized in your private spaces, you are bound to come across, as insecure by that element alone, in what gets posted online, all organizational tasks should be done with meaning and purpose, because that’s the same energy that gets put online, its doesn’t just take being detail oriented in public that gets your noticed, don’t slack when it comes to meaning your offline life either, put the same effort into both. So what does it mean to be a blogger? To me it means that you are good so long as no one is bothered by your work, mentioned or not, and in the event that someone is bothered by your work, that’s a lost momentum, where you can either continue to blog, without mention, or re-earn trust with your audience, if its more than one person who has a problem with you sharing online. At what point does it become about others, not wanting you to share, and at what point does it become about you, with a greater benefit to others, than is assumed by someone who does not approve of your work. I think blogging is by where you stand in your own shoes, it wont always look and feel the same to someone standing outside of you not in your shoes. That’s blogging, its more intense, time consuming, and stressful in your shoes, than it is for someone outside of you reading your work, so long as its not someone outside of you trying to control your content, how you look, sound and feel, then there should be nothing within a person, that turns on a factor of aggression toward you, where their unhappiness becomes your problem, I don’t think that blogging should be that co-dependent, if someone is available to share from their standpoint, that’s something that you should appreciate, that’s not addiction, if they sound clear, its maybe that they are not bothered by the same things that you are bothered by, therefore you don’t understand why they are so fluid with their words, and that type of unhappiness or upset, is not a tolerable level of complaint to have with a person, who is not speaking from your shoes. Not everything you want to be mentioned, give or take, and I get the possessiveness over what is working for everyone, that’s not life, you cant not include people, and you cant only make sense among a few people, that’s not how life works, feeling apart of whether that’s up at the top, or just among people close to you in a more intimate way in real life, that’s not how people communicate, how people communicate through blogging, you don’t have to make that extra step in real life, so study people as they talk, or in deep reflection on life, consider one anothers point of view in comparison to the work of others, I think online its so easy to compare, read, review, and view evidence, and in real life it doesn’t work the same way, there is a greater expectation of privacy, and less evidentiary support for comparison among people, that’s not how to go about life, valuing people based on a standard that causes you to listen more or less, or maybe that’s how life is in real life and online. So think about all those factors that are leading you to pay attention to certain folks over others, and consider, how important is who they know, or who they knew then, and what does what they have to say now reflect on the life that they had then, or who knows them now, eventually at some point, everything you say will come to matter, and whether you like it or not, that should be the standard, whether you are close to people or not, a good writer, assumes that all will be affected, and a good writer assumes that all will interpret your work as though they still know you closely or did know you closely, and expect that you would treat any later mentions, with the same degree of care as though you still are close, or do know eahother well, or knew eachother well then, if not for the futures sake or reuniting with people or seeing them again in life later down the road. Not all were destined for greatness. So what is blogging and what does it reflect? I think it’s a simple way of showing that you care and acknowledge the present, have dedicated yourself to getting to know the world, no matter who is by your side, with respect for your past either choose to mention in the positive, or not mention to avoid any unwanted attentions, and do your best to share your story, so that not only do you feel special, but people from your life feel special, along with people who are privileged to have found you online, feel special too. 

Reference:

[1] https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/PublicSpeaking.htm

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https://muckrack.com/leslie-fischman

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