So things are not going exactly as planned, that doesn’t mean that all leadership has failed, notice in the beginnings of overcoming hardship, there will be immediate responses and reactions, all of those feelings and emotions are real, included the newly updated emotional and pain music being declared on FM Radio Los Angeles, one of my favorite hashtags Ive made, 104.3 great song “bad habits lead to you.” Oh the woes of indecision and mind changing, all that discomfort, and worry, mostly occurring within you, its usually quiet in those periods where you can either decide to be strong, and leave everything as it is, or make choices and edits, my best advice would be to work with what you’ve got, that’s a great quote “work with what your mamma gave you.” There is meaning and purpose to that, there is a comfort and sense of leniency to the issues occurring when you are able to speak your mind, and allow everything around you to adjust to those terms, without which, there may be a hyper sensitivity to things, that’s the importance of therapy, its in the getting out of whats within that’s toughest, especially when things are not clear, that pain to your head and to your body, I explained to the FBI is inheriting the spirit of that fear or that pain that gets circumscribed to you based on what you are thinking about or focusing on, and the times can ofeten provide for more discomfort than reassurances during those moments, I described writing books after fires, because that’s how I bottled up my energy and fear of a swooping fire sweeping through my neighborhood, twice stopped by “The Getty Museum” twice undefeated, theyre like the Lakers of Fires, prepared and ready to combat Gods wrath, so lucky that we have so many experienced members in the workforce who know how to deal with and instant message all of our phones, we are prepared so lets not forget about the power in technology. So what to do about counter culture, that would be instilling in the times a fear, whether that be a movie or a song, surely it speaks to something that some bodies can handle, and some bodies shudder in the thought of, but that didn’t stop Joaquin, hes the current Karate specialist, so I am taking up Kickboxing, a fan of Ari Emanuel and Ashley Graham, body image positivist, you don’t have to hate anything, you don’t have to hate your arms, you don’t have to let that pain sit, you can always do something about that inner frustration, whether that be a loss, hes an incredible advocate and inspiration to us all having suffered a loss as a young adult, Joaquin Phoenix, so I kicked and video’d myself kicking, until I collapsed laying sideways on the gym mat against the wall (old ray of light Batman symbol humor, how they used to announce movies back in the day with light in the sky, remember? I used to share that as humor, no thats exactly how it feels post trauma, you work until you’re tired, and need to rest, I dont know of any other way to help make things better than to stay active and do my best), until someone in trendy shoes with all the holes showed up and realized I had been laid against the wall for 30 minutes on my phone, probably on social media messenger service, time to get up and go home. So exhaust yourselves, thinking, or exercising, or working, that’s okay, when things are intense, and stressful its okay to spend that energy doing quality things for yourself or others, that’s called giving back, its okay to be tired, just don’t let that hurt sit, do something with it be constructive, its not okay to sit still and be scared, move! That’s my best advice, or read, pick your mind off of what is causing you pain and disorientation and put your brain to good use, be a problem solver, increase your exposures, and let what you cannot control grab your attentions away from what matters to you, not everything is the basis for code, or excuse for happenings not a movie, not a song, not an identity, there will always be excuses that’s trying to take your mind off of what is working for you and make you think in the negative or rationalize with someone who has caused harm to others, be justified in doing so, and that’s not okay to use things like people, movies, or songs, as excuses for peoples behavior, misconduct, or crime, that’s not okay, and remind yourself, tell yourself, no Im not going to think this way because that makes it okay for people to react that way and its not okay for people to react that way. So visiting the park in Compton with a soldier friend, was his way of telling me, I know whats bothering you, and its okay to face your fears, and broach the subject and we can do so together, and its okay for what happened in Hancock Park to be bothering me, and be taken to another “park” in Compton, that’s matching words not matching concepts, and me being there is putting my identity on a word “Park,” hopefully with a different incantation, I realize being at a baseball game a famous line from a movie came up “have you seen my baseball” yes that was me who exclaimed in my world peace chapter to accept “good bad smart and retarded” that was a basis or building block offered in light of the world, to begin with acceptance, and from there flesh out what is intolerable, and what are acceptable faults of being human, to think behave or think, these are things that can all be corrected, either through a mutual acceptance, or a refusal for allowing for one type of being to predominate which lessens the skills of things we like and admire too and see less of these days like comedians or humor, there is a way, lets not call funny obnoxious or intolerable, maybe certain personality types are better at carrying a sense of humor which can be related to than others, notice that people who are popular are more likely to be found funny than someone who many do not know or can relate to, there is a way of looking at a person who you know, and for their vulnerability to not be shown through their skin, that means a person is comfortable and confident, and its in that ability that the tone energy and delivery of a sense of humor can be related to, and this is how we all differ and why its okay to differ, the timing of your humor or deductions in life may differ, but there is always time to be human, you get to choose what you have so decided to hold comradere to, and I don’t think without a blog that there would be such a visible basis for viewing or trying to comprehend who is in the well, who is in the sick, who is in sadness, who is doing well, and determine where in a persons recovery from trauma are they, and who is it that is able to carry an emotion, someone who has been through it, and can lead others to better places in life. So that’s what this blog is for, its taking the discomfort of the times, its taking the tense indecision, and its taking that snap decision anger into consideration, that occurs when you are done with a person, have had enough, and its trying to make a better example, of when its okay to be tolerant, and when its okay to let go. Ive never asked anyone to turn on me, Im not someone who is too much, I know my limits, with extreme awareness for what is able to be comprehended, whats problem solving versus what is problem causing, and its when someone doesn’t feel good about you, that’s the problem, so whats casuing that. I think there is disappointment that occurs when you find out someone has been controlled or made to look stupid, and that’s not my fault, to have had no experience with anyone trying to control me, get inside my head or body, then try to communicate to others, as though they know me inside my head or body, Ive been talking online for years, people are a good judge of character and no one needs an interpreter to decide what is coming from me, versus what is “corrupt” or coming form another human mind or being, I only watch three channels on direct tv fox news, bravo, and channel 4 now, and only check my social media and have my facebook I sometimes check, that is my exposure, and movies, songs, which everyone else has access too. I cant teach someone how to think, I can write books, but I cannot stop someone, who does not understand or comprehend what it means to be a human being, and hopefully we are not too late to this discussion, why its important to respect the spaces of others, not stalk, not harass, and not try to intimidate people. You only have so much energy to handle all the emotions and attentions on you, and most of that you want to be in control of what is said about you based on what you have said, and that is your brain and body composed of everything you have said, and that’s your understanding and comprehension of what is thought of you, that’s something you have control over and can create, and that’s why I write.