If you have not lived life long enough to experience rejection and cold shoulders then maybe this is not the blog for you not to cloud your perception of “people” in general that’s not my intent to discuss me and my views and “people” in general, when people say people that’s just excuse for putting themselves above others and I don’t view people in that way as having general reactions in cohorts everyone is an individual unit entitled to separate treatment depending on their attitude in life like getting jobs you either deserve it or you don’t and it’s your job to prove it. I was able to fair in the world well because I make friends easily, I don’t have problems finding someone to date, and I’m able to get jobs, everything in between that occurs when working on yourself is something that I think most people can relate to being busy and not having time for intimacy and opening up, not everyone is in a place in life when they feel willing to be close with people, or find the right people to be close to. So I would be be able to illustrate why I’m someone treated as stupid and attacked post intimacies it must be a condition they feel entitled to me being unconditional loving toward them, for me it’s hard to be loving past fighting like anyone you need space that doesn’t mean that forgiveness does not occur or anger on my end toward them usually you feel hurt and in defense of self it’s okay to ask why are you hurting me, why do you think that I deserve to be hurt, and what have I done to you that makes you feel entitled to hurting me. It’s not a loss when things don’t work out it’s just a waste of your time and energy you can’t be disappointed and angered with people when you don’t get your way in life or don’t feel as good as you think you’re entitled to feeling knowing someone. You should benefit we should all benefit from knowing people. If you’re like me if it’s not until you include people in your life that don’t represent you well or who others find out about and not impressed with you because if that’s how disinterest occurs. I never saw myself as people interested in me because of who I know I always thought that I was an interesting person to begin with because of my education, athleticism, and social skills a natural born leader, likeable. It’s in rejection that you begin to question your influences in life, you tell me who’s life has not improved since reading my blog, who’s perspective has not improved since meeting me, and who’s sense of humor has not benefited from knowing me. Even crime obsessed types benefit from hearing from me, sharing my unique perspective and analysis on the behavioral attributes of those approaching a big story and give or take their reactions and expectations of me, I don’t take insult that’s why I’ve made it so far on IMDb. And there are no two stories that align from which a negative interpretation can be made as influenced for better or worse upon knowing my identity. I applied to law schools across the country including Barack Obamas law school he was in no way shape or form making fun of me or coming up in life because of my identity or my plans to go to law school which occurred 2006 before OJ went to jail not because he went to jail to defend him, and my association to Brady was introduced 2011 by WIIDC a DC internship company that was posted on a flyer in the snack room of law school that I applied to and got in was accepted to DC law students in court, falling ill due to bipolar dumped during finals Spring 2011 and was hospitalized, this should teach you not to be needy of others who you are in intimacies with for stability and reassurances in life you won’t get that when you are expected to be strong no one will baby you when they expect you to be smart. I was already working in DTLA 2008 via a flyer “downtown law firm” an anonymous work ad that was given to me by my paralegal school which turned out to be a government organization The LA City Attorneys Office, my first job where I worked for a year as an intern paralegal. I went to paralegal school to see whether I was capable of being a law student, I knew that it would be hard, so based on my grades in law school and performance in a job everyone encouraged me to go to law school and saw me as capable of finishing and graduating and becoming an attorney. As far as Todd Spitzer goes I have always felt comforted by law enforcement frequently calling 911 with mental health issues who have helped me through the majority of my ups and downs in law including self harm and voices which did not occur nor until 2017 did some reason. It’s true that mental health issues don’t hit you until later in life and that’s true of bipolar and schizophrenia which I did not have to take meds for during my time as a law student and started beginning 2013 consistently everyday as prescribed or by shot to make sure that I was taking my meds. I reached out to Todd prior to the Chapman exit shooting and attack, I messaged him, I am not talking to him solely in response to that incident but since I was already connected by virtue of being paranoid that I am being followed or watched I let him know that I am going to be in the area in case there was any unusual activity to follow which he not occurred nor in my town or where I have lived past followed or injured only on messenger upon meeting me am I taken advantage of by people I am not attracted to and would not talk with or be close with in real life because they don’t speak proper English and can tell. It is because I am paranoid about acts to follow that cameras were installed at the 26th street intersection and on Ocean Avenue (per my suggestion and recommendation) where I ran everyday 2014-2017 for years! No gym membership on a tight budget not to waste money because it was more important for help paying for my legal degree so didn’t ask for much. So it’s a good thing to be hyper vigilant I think living on my own 2004-2017 I would not have survived if I ever felt this way, as it turns out the more unstable you become because of mental health issues the more aggressive people are towards you and the more others stand out and you don’t that also occurs upon being known you dim others bold, or you become timid introvert and others solid in your surroundings, so always stay healthy, you don’t know who is who or who is themselves or feels brighter because of you life doesn’t work that way in which you are credited for others sharpening up or improving which is what IMDb is for, it’s through improvement and demonstration of those improvements that others take a turn for a more strong role become competitive this can happen in intimate relationships or friendships that’s feeling stronger by but also not something you get credited for what people see within themselves based upon knowing you that they want to improve about themselves or notice in others but don’t coddle you for your inadequacies in life. I think it’s being a law student that others feel threatened and competitive with you, automatically seeing themselves as smart and judging you and constantly sizing you up to see whether you are smart and quickly dismissing you based on anything they think makes you seem stupid. Privilege does not make you stupid, medications make you stupid and slow, and disrespect is not being accepted or understood as disabled that’s not what I went to law school for to prosecute or attack people or be strong in an offensive way I’m not a tv show I grew up around fighting, chaos, news, stress, depression, heartache, quiet periods, desperation, divorce, breakups, I grew up around a lot of emotions and I think I did well inspire of those traumas in life like everyone else who has moved on and stayed strong. We live in a very aggressive, combative, and confrontational society of expectation and entitlement and that’s sad to see, everyone expecting to be up with you or by you or dismissing you if they don’t feel good by you, you know life is not a one way street that you can just hop on and end up like riding a bus where you want to be in life and get there through people, not emotionally not intellectually and not romantically. It’s by what you can do for others that others are benefited from knowing you it’s who is comfortable by you, who feels understood by you, who can relate to you, and who feels better by you. That’s what makes you a person of value not all the unhappy people and complaints that’s not an accurate measure of how I approach life or people ever, I’m nice to everyone I don’t judge people! Solution is not only in the comradere of acceptance! Crime is solved by writing reports, writing essays, writing arguments, establishing facts, submitting reports, making calls, introducing yourself to people, and being on time in life, post trauma again ask yourself what can you do for others. Crime is not solved involving people, attacking people, blaming people or complaining, think with your rational mind what is real and what makes sense what is going on in your mind what is going on in the mind of others and veer away steer clear and call 911 if ever in the event you come across an interpretation that strengthens or makes sick people that’s an interpretation that you report to the authorities so that’s not a strategy of a humor that is used to make people sick thinking that that is coming from your identity but by the inappropriate use of your identity to establish a sick fact non existent in people or their thinking and inappropriate to establish as an identifying fact about you your motivations in life direction or focus. Sex devalues people it causes disrespect rejection and problems mentally it makes you feel grose you gain weight and you get voices that’s my experience with sex a separation of my mind and body from focus on being connected to things that makes sense to my mind and body we are not all built in that way not once you become a public figure once you are dissected by people you don’t have a private life and you feel like open heart surgery everyday until you fill again with something solid that makes you feel safe again that’s called privacy, you have to earn it, establish a necessity for it, and protect yourself from invasion into it for the sake of criticism if you as a human being existing on earth, if I didn’t want to exist I wouldn’t write my thoughts down everyday of my life strong smart or stupid I say what I think and say how I feel and mostly you my expense and to the benefit of others. No one person in this world is expected to share every single detail of their brain and body (not even me but that’s how it feels under threat) with the rest of the world in order to be accepted and allowed to live the next day free of harm and unwanted intrusion. I’ve not done anything wrong that anyone is entitled to exposing me who is already transparent (submitted copyright to house of Congress stamped and approved identity known) and have nothing to hide. The secret to doing well is to be well under pressure and wrongful accusation of you, where do they get this idea to attack me and cut my open online? For what benefit like a deers head on a wall is that your pride and joy and accomplishment in life to ruin my life and get others to gang up on me like others don’t already have a hard life without money like my struggles who can relate to the need to establish a career for yourself in the event that you are not hired me post disability that’s my pain that’s my struggle so don’t treat me like I’m not smart enough to work and make it in this world. I deserve a job I don’t deserve to be a deer head on the wall punished chastised and crucified online for modeling and because that happened I gained 30mins because I was self harming suicidal and hearing voices no I did not want to be displayed in the negative and no I don’t deserve to be targeted online for hate and disgust and be attacked mistreated like I’m unethical I do everything in my power to report everything is in writing to the courts to the police to the FBI every fear misinterpretation and attack on my character this is to protect against stupidity and to prevent crime from occurring so that “people” are not treated as stupid so that “people” don’t live in fear and so that “people” are free to think what they want feel what they want without feeling wrong or be punished for it that’s what makes “people” strong when there is a free flow of ideas which upon added supervision by FBI or police it becomes less a problem of the “people” and more s problem with individual skills for adjustment that can be improved. That’s the solution I found through trial and error and through my own years of life wasted thinking about life and solution and that’s why IMDb accepts me there is always risk so if you are not equipped to manage risk and willing to report or get help then you will not feel comfortable in any position in which you feel obligated to speak.
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