A long time, there is no easy road, quick route, or short cut, you either are willing to wait with enthusiasm and make it to that point of comfort with someone or you don’t meet the mark, and sometimes we learn this early on, and sometimes we find out the hard way not measuring up. Attentions will fly, and you may feel alone, but if you have love in your heart, that warmth stays with you, no matter where you are or who youre with, sometimes forgotten, and leaving your system, but capable of being remembered upon interaction, what is chemistry? It must be a mutual starting off point with people, which I don’t think happens automatically, someone always has the upper hand, whether we are able to reveal that to one another, who feels better than the other, but someone always takes the lead, in less familiar territory, and that’s not always because of faith or potential we believe in others or ourselves, but there is a clearing from which a path can be made, to begin assembling the basic building blocks to any sound relationship, yes communication is key, that’s where you are able to pick up on whether someone listens, whether they are not listening, in their head, or waiting on you and empathizing and feeling what you are saying with you in that moment recognizing your fears, your pains, your questions, your ticks, if you can’t recognize that much then don’t mind the distance between you and someone trying to figure themselves out in the midst of chaos and pressure, and don’t read too much into whats intended to be remembered or tested to be heard and thought intended to communicate to you, it could be a positive, so keep an open mind and wait until an actual fight before you misinterpret anything to mean a fight is beginning, some fights don’t start until you start them and inquire, so the more you can let go, the less you inhibit the others from being vocal about their concerns or free to express their worries, and there is nothing immature in stating the obvious or directing attentions to issues that could be felt or seen watching an interaction take place, its when you take insult, that’s to test to see whether you think youre better than others, or threatened by others, whether you are a team player, or feel left out, and that’s okay too, life is all about bonding, so what can be understood and communicated about without stating, sometimes makes for a warmer interaction in life, not in a pin pointing or diagnosing your issue or worry kind of way Im sure, more in a respectful way, weighing the elements and the risks, and the less it bothers you, the more real your connections become, if you can look beyond the façade, and what things could be meaning to be about you, if you can’t get past that much, then you will rarely find many on your team in life, and find yourself more alone than in the company of others, and in the company of the company that surrounds your loved ones, people don’t want to expose those who do not recognize the fragility, of being able to have the option to belittle in the stance of whether an attention is deserved and that’s fair, I do see that we are all important in the grand scheme of things, no matter what we have heard about one another, the more who know you the less important you become, unless you speak, the less intimidated others are by you, this is the whole concept of not creating a big bad that intimidates, or a big hot that makes all the women feel small, or force women to adjust to a less intimidating version of themselves so others can shine, who cannot shine if they feel less than someone who seems bigger than they are, these are the typical worries of women trying to support one another and empower one another, instead of competing for attentions allow a man to choose, a good man will give his undivided attention to anyone, and be equally enthused to socialize and get to hear from others, those who you can’t get through to doesn’t mean that others are better able to get through to them either, that’s a married man, there but you can’t get inside them, so enjoy the sweetness and the warmth, that’s the best they can do, its their loyalty that makes them admirable, heartwarming, and cute, that subtle stuck feeling, we all long to not make people feel bad, so it could just be that being made to feel bad, as though his warmth is not genuine, so Im sure that’s common for married men, to be loved, but not be made to feel bad about who they choose to love and keep their heart with such as their wife, there is a theme to this madness, a good man, cannot give his heart to a woman who feels big by him and then ignores him that’s how he gets hurt when he seems small to others, so sometimes it sucks to be around a man who is loved, who seems brighter than the rest, without knowing where it is coming from, its that he’s not feeling bad about himself as stuck, and not feeling bad about what his potential losses are in life, by not venturing beyond his boundaries in life, if the space you seek is not worth the stability of the space you have, then its not worth risking the space you have to seek a new or different space, that is left empty or abandoned, that leaves you feeling with nothing in life, not able to connect to an old space, and not able to feel good by a new space.

For someone insecure and not proud of themselves (stuck with guilt transforming in the form of commentary made to feel bad by or explain or recognize for confirmation to feel small) is a belittling strategy to minimize the significance of a pen name or a black box which I am sure was not to insult my life story or hardships in life, tying the not, and keeping in touch with my friends who I love and admire, would never abandon if it meant to keep these issues away from them, specific ones I was faced with individually on my own, its not a chosen lifestyle to be alone, but its better to explore your questions in life researching and writing on your own than to include anyone in that process not understanding where you are headed in life.