advice, blogging, lifestyle

How to Be Appealing …

As a blogger you have the option to choose how you want to appear to others. That’s your choice. Whether to be appealing in the positive, whether to be provocative and spark discussion, whether to speak freely, whether to be reserved in your discussions choosing to lend insight to subjects based on sharing experiences from your own life, or whether to speak generally in a way that what you have to say can apply to people in their own lives. We all have our boundaries, and while you may seem like an open book online, know whats of value to you before deciding to share so freely, is it a concept when applied to your own life that reflects positively of you and others, and if not is it something that needs to be shared about you. I think when it comes to relationship advice, that can be a steep climb, in terms of whether you have had positive experiences that show that you have an encouraging mindset on the whole dating and loving process, or whether you are sheltered and have not had enough dating or loving experiences to share from. Overall I have been successful in dating, have almost been proposed to twice, and have had several open relationships that have continued over the years upon reconnecting, meaning men from my past, who have been supportive of me, and have never discouraged me from doing well in life. We all hope to have positive experiences in life, had I not had positive experiences in life I probably wouldn’t be a blogger and so positive toward others online, no matter who is reading, whether they are male or female, and no matter how old they are, not have the experience to share about life in a general way that lends insight into their own lives in a positive way view things. That’s always been my specialty, that no matter how difficult my life has been, I have always managed to improve. Even if I don’t have the pictures to show for it. Its only recently that people have become overly concerned with what they look like in photos, it matters, but it shouldn’t make or break you, aging is a process, I guarantee you that if you start taking better care of yourself it will show in photos. Looking good is a constant experiment, we hope that as you get older you become better at it, how you present yourself, how you appear to others, and how people feel upon looking at you, that to me is all a matter of exposure, maybe it’s a lifestyle decision that you have made to stay home or not go out and drink at night, maybe it’s a fitness schedule that you keep, to stay fit and to keep your energy up, what attracts people to you is the stability that you provide to others, and no one can forecast to you how to achieve that not unless you take the time to think about what it is you need to do, in order to be yourself around others. What does that look like? Find a picture of your best self, and ask yourself, how can I achieve this look everyday, what was I doing in my life at the time that I looked this way, and what were my exposures at the time. I can tell you one thing, that when you don’t feel good, youre bound to not like the way you look, as you get more comfortable with yourself, hopefully you’ll be less picky and more accepting of yourself overall, selfies are an amazing feature of the new iPhone, to see yourself as you take a photo, I don’t think that’s all together necessary, growing up on disposable cameras when taking pictures with friends. So what makes you attractive as a blogger? 

  • Do you have themes? 
    • My themes are a #scotus card with 5 reminders, badges that I have earned overtime on social media, certificates, copies of degrees, and membership cards. Think of some repeated element, that illustrates where you stand on the issues, its okay if not everyone stands in the same place as you with regard to certain issues, all that matters is that you are comfortable standing from where you are. 
  • Who is your audience?
    • My audience is comprised of men and women, mostly between the ages of 18 and 44. The majority age 25 to 34. They don’t contact me, people rarely comment, they send likes via blogpros, they are consistent, they come around when I am doing well, and they are good decision makers, who can tell when a post is general enough to be circulated, or what is personal, and not necessary to give public approval for, can they relate to you, are you being open and honest in a way that is approachable, or will discussion of a problem make others uncomfortable, what are your rights and what are their rights, and do you manage that peace well, in terms of others approval of you, do you make sense?
  • How would you describe your blog?
    • My blog is a self-help resource for those reflecting on life and working toward making better decisions for themselves moving forward, how to analyze their problems by viewing my own analysis, how to be better acclimated to the times and adjust themselves accordingly, how to set goals and accomplish tasks in a way that produces the results that you want to see improvement, and how to display yourself online in a way, that most people support, and still be able to be opinionated and be yourself, without coming across as offensive or a turn-off. 
  • Do you support causes?
    • My blog shows that I support Brady and other anti-violence organizations, it shows that I have attended AA and support recovery groups, and even started a #dontdodrugs page I managed for a period in time that did well on Facebook and was approved by AA as a non-AA group. It supports people with mental health issues, either new to it, or wanting to hear from someone else going through the process of managing symptoms and getting help to not sugarcoat the process of recovering from disability that it takes time, and if they can see the results in my work ethic and writing, then that shows that they similarly can get through the process of managing symptoms, keeping track just like I have overtime, writing. 
  • Are you clear on what your boundaries are?
    • I think I have always done my best to call the police whenever I have needed help when making decisions about whats a “public health” concern, and whats just something that Im going through personally, I even took the time to get a certificate on Coursera, and am currently working on a Life Coach Certificate. 
  • Are you creative and how do you inspire others?
    • In AA they tell you you are either part of the solution or part of the problem, and that really stuck to me when it comes to blogging, there are so many things to talk about, the benefit of becoming a writer is that you are able to grow past previous personal dilemmas and find that through talking and writing about things that things get better, either you reach a period of peace on a topic, or you are able to reach a period of peace with anyone wanting to know your opinion on a topic, you wont always get direct support via likes, but when you do it make talking well worth the effort to put into words what you are thinking. 
  • Are you a positive example, of the problems you discuss?
    • I think that I have been through a lot, I don’t think that everyone would agree on the use of “messenger” to be social or to talk about your problems, and I also don’t think that everyone would agree to call the police when you face a mental health issue, to me that’s my standard, maybe its not the same for everyone. Its only recently that I have been able to see a therapist once a week and got a new psychiatrist, taking fewer meds than I once was prescribed. Ive done my best. 

For me, life gets complicated when someone has a problem with you, and while you might not expect for that to happen, know that it can happen as a blogger online, it occurs in the form of stress, either you are uncomfortable, or something you have said, maybe was not stated clearly, its so important to speak clearly online, people take insult easily when they think things are about them, which makes being close to anyone difficult, especially anyone who does not support your blogging and writing goals. For me it took years to build a blog, it took a lot of maturity, it took some dedication to maintaining a presence on Instagram, and it took some courage to share opinions on Twitter, that’s not easy for most, to just speak their mind, and the ideas don’t keep flowing, that’s the misunderstanding. In order to attract, you have to be comfortable, and in order to be comfortable you have to be confident, and in order to be confident, you have to be doing everything you can do in order to be stable, and this is what makes it difficult to blog with mental health issues, you might sound stable to someone reading, but they will not know on the other end if you are struggling or not doing well, and this is why pictures serve the function to show your audience what you look like and how you are doing so they can measure your wellness themselves, with their own eyes and ears, see how you are doing. I don’t think its easy keeping in contact with strangers, I hate to say that blogging is talking to strangers, but it is, unless you have found your niche. I highly recommend to find your niche, you cant just be hollering to the masses, without choosing a specialty, choosing a specialty, such as life quotes or sharing thoughts, supplies a base judgement for determining whether you are serving your purpose online, what are your writing goals and does what you have to share demonstrate that you are achieving those writing goals, and does what you have to say, reflect upon your own life, and by what examples have you shared that demonstrate that your thinking, your bets thinking, is what has led to your overall improvement, that’s what people want to know, whether your thinking is what has worked out for you and led to success for you in your life, and that’s how someone determines whether they want to listen or not.


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