You can’t really toot your horn in this business unless people allow you to, a career in writing teaches you to aim for delayed gratification rather than seek immediate results. As a writer you are feeding off your own energy in life, that’s what gives life to new ideas, and your inner genius, which you can’t tap into if you are too focused on what others think, let alone worried for your own sense of safety in being honest, second guess yourself, and approach life with delay, the best leaders, speak in the moment, and what makes sense is what we all tend to gravitate toward, what we have less a read on, tends to be the least stifling in terms of curbing inner doubts, and sour impressions. You always have a say in how things turn out for you, when you turn your mind off to the nonsense that rattles you, whether or not there is weight and truth to it, we all find our way eventually, internalizing less of the nonsense, and getting back to the normalcy of what thinking is supposed to be like, like a scavenger hunt for information, a motivation to cure a defect, an inspiration to rise above, we all hope that our thoughts and thinking can be that powerful, but sometimes its not, and hits a dull note every now and then. Don’t let negativity stop you in your tracks, remind yourself that there is always more, like a piece to a puzzle that your missing, that had you known, would have been better suited to putting together a string of thoughts that would you lead you to the right places more times than the wrong places that thinking has brought you, we have all been there, whether it’s a bad joke, or a poor forecast of whats to come, who wants reassurances in life in the form of negativity, this is why they encourage us all to have a positive outlook. In an article on self-awareness, mayburch.com reminds us to “know yourself” especially in stressful situations, and that “no matter who we are, when work or life throws us a curve ball … the key is to figure out how you’re going to be aware of the situation.” [1] As a writer you have the power to influence others for the better, and as you gather your thoughts so will the reader, I figure what I can say in 10 pages is something that someone else can say in two words, and so you have it, writing, sometimes a thankless profession, although it requires a lot of effort on your part. I recently did some research on responding in high pressure situations, it’s all a balancing act “handling things in stride,” its what you take from the situation that either sets you apart as strong minded, or you can be your indigenous self reacting and absorbing everything, in fact we are reminded not to go by instinct [2] in the event we face high stress, and to take a step back. Identify what you can and can’t control and focus on what you can control, says fyp365.com. 

Seems like the more time apart from others, the further away you get from your goals in life when it comes to romance and friendship, thankfully I have just been invited to the “Boycott Chateau Marmont,” this Saturday and looking forward to attending if I can, meet other people with the same interest in providing advocacy to others, and putting themselves out there to represent a common interest that matters to the majority, not to suffer from abuses on the job, not to be taken advantage of, and not put up with sexual advances from people in public places, where you would not ordinarily expect to encounter that type of interaction with, being done unwanted, a sex assault. Change doesn’t happen overnight, I think the most stress I get is wherever a difference can be felt in terms of what I am doing and saying and what another feels about it, that pressure that gets passed on to me in life, is a disbelief searching for confirmation in the negative to put who is watching you at ease and in the reverse if you do well, its them not at ease expecting you to feel sorry for them, and so goes on the battle with co-dependency, where one thrives on negativity but does not foster in non-confrontation, we can’t all be so willing to fight over every issue that a person has with you in life, we were not all built to absorb and compute the frustrations of others, and be consumed by guilts in life. If you can’t feel good don’t make other people feel bad that you’re not feeling good, that’s plain and simple when it comes to unhappiness, you can ask for compassion, but you should not expect for others to go out of their way to help you rehabilitate yourself. This is what we pay therapists for and buy books for, to teach us what cannot be said to us. To help us to figure out things for ourselves, and this is how reading helps, it allows you to identify whats going on within, without having to rely on the added feelings of rejection and insult that occurs from getting negative feedback from others.

Then there is the stress of starting a new job, my first week I was throwing up on my way home from work, by the second third and fourth weeks I was getting headaches by the afternoon and all night, and by the fifth week, Im able to stay until 6pm and work continuously without taking too many breaks, and no headaches, so theres a learning curve for sure when it comes to stress and energy, how you manage and maintain yourself and your energy matters, and for me managing symptoms through blogging has been key to freeing up energy and pressure Id rather not endure working in the daytime, it leaves less stress on whats not said expecially at a time like this where no one expects for “Laguna Woods” “Elle Woods” “Law Students” and “Leslie Fischman” and “Nicole Brown Simpson” and “Laguna” to not all coalesce into a fact pattern we identify as belonging to “Laguna” and definelty not something that the “News” talks about, how that’s all related, and I don’t think that you need to discuss how things are related in that way to solve anything, or get a better grasp on the subject of “gun violence” and how and why it happens, it is never the fault of the victims. So if it is something happening to a person, that guarantees that it is not that persons fault, including my own, when it comes to sharing my identity with the world, which is not for use by anyone who seeks to commit a hardship to the thinking of others, that’s not something that I engage in, anything that’s hard to accept or comprehend, I never lie, and am always honest to a T with others, the world, and to the courts, I have nothing to hide. So if its something you can’t swallow maybe its thinking poorly of me and if you feel intimidated by me, maybe it’s because you would rather see me as a “freak show” or some denominated person in life “who you don’t think deserves the attention,” I never asked for it, it was given to me on IMDb, Shorty Awards, and Infinity Blog Awards, and its by post, that’s how you generate a following, and by photos, as you can see my videos, which got the most views and which did not, its when you are put together and sound good, that’s what builds a following. For example, while everything was drained into my bowl and left a heavy weigh on my plate, that my arms and legs went to jello recently lost shape and tummy got big again, that means that there is a pressure weight or stress on me that is affecting my confidence and how I feel and how safe I feel going about life. Versus when I feel light, walking everyday and face sharp that is when I have the energy to move and to take good care of myself, not with the pressure of others watching me or thinking poorly of me, which makes you want to stay home and in your room. So this is me saying don’t worry we all have these thoughts, IMDb included, and the goal is to get us away from the uncomfortable and get back to the energy of reading into one another’s thoughts and behaviors again and looking back in awe, admiring the human-ness to everyone’s stride. 

Reference:

[1] https://maybusch.com/manage-yourself-when-under-pressure/

[2] https://www.fyp365.com/10-ways-to-deal-with-high-pressure-situations/