Most disabilities you don’t need to talk about, it’s apart of who you are, and not something you talk about. A lot of things are like that, such as music and film, not something we talk about, something we automatically appreciate, and watch and learn to think for ourselves, and put together our own thoughts, each entitled to what we see. Sex is also like that, you either look the part or you don’t, and that’s how you get picked, based on how put together you are, and based on what you have to offer to another, a good feeling is expected. In business you are only as valuable as you are able to react and respond under pressures while continuing to provide the same care as you have been over the years. 

Now is different, recently defamed, and cyber-bullied, suffering a loss of my own (not having recovered from mental health issues in enough time to share good news with my Father again, but got a job like he wanted me to, work again). I think when you are called “fraud” and “delusional” by men who you are no longer loving with, it kind of interferes with your ability to stay well let alone move on, I have not moved on, and have difficulty now being in loving relationships. That’s being hurt, it’s taken me months, I was barely at full speed when I started working, usually I’m allowed a few good days, before it’s ultimately up to me to move forward and start working again, and when I’m not well allowed to get well at my own pace, that’s my life absent bullying. With bullying voices has resulted in punching my head, slamming my head into walls, and being stuck in bed all day sedentary, when I’m taken off day meds, I am asleep all day and all night for weeks, and cant get up, can’t function, can’t do much, but stay home and stay in my room. 

The cycle of abuse that’s occurring, is the cycle of relationships, if I improve, the past feeling short handed as though I was supposed to be here wellness wise when I first met them, I think it takes time for meeting you and how you’re feeling to match up with what someone else is thinking and what they are thinking. Usually the other having more faith than me in me being okay, not sure what gives them the confidence in me, after being told I’m delusional, and schizophrenic, I wondered whether it was worth it to continue to write, seems like upon insult, what’s the reason for writing? I think writing for me is to repair my image, and to provide a voice of reason to those who maybe don’t see things right and appreciate life. I have always thought that when I don’t feel good, it is because I’m not connecting, I’m either not valued, or not feeling good about who I am, I’ve never been someone to not feel good, or not feel motivated, I used to run everyday lost 50lbs. I think I have great motivation in life, heartbreak or not, its when you want to improve things get better, it’s when you focus on what is sad about life, that you feel more powerless, rejections included. 

I understand that the mind is a beautiful place, I would never advertise myself to college students or kids, I think they have more potential than to be hurt that they are reading from someone who is called delusional, schizophrenic, or whore, it’s a hard concept to understand men who don’t like women or men who become angry at women, for some reason I don’t think it is their right to declare a woman’s worth. Even if that was their goal, people still ask me out and approach me, that doesn’t mean that I’m mentally ready for it yet. Sure you can say terms to see what’s controlling, a past insult, or a present disposition, by then it’s too late, my feelings have been hurt, so there is not much momentum forward upon being hurt in life, things just kind of stop, like the train movie. 

I’m not trashy toward people, I just don’t have a life, and chose writing as a career. So all my time is spent working on learning how to build a website, keep track of stats, and follow through with my writing maintain an audience. I’ve experienced audience loss, and wouldn’t know what the feeling is like, when a work is not good enough or sufficient to solve or be viewed as being of value to someone who has never been lost, hurt, heartbroken, or suffered devastating losses in life. 

As a client myself having undergone many treatments for what was thought to be wrong with me, I was always compliant and improved which I’m sure made others feel better. In the real world however based on your health you can appear to not be bothered, and the way that you learn what is hard to understand, if for your head to hurt, that’s what makes people feel better, to make someone look wrong, or without a brain, when someone’s head is gone, that’s how they make someone look who they think is guilty, or someone who is well they are hard on to see how they react and respond under pressure whether they read into things assert themselves, or threaten back, I think Im smarter than that, I’m not a force to be reckoned with, its on your conscious when you decide to purposefully be provocative toward someone, that’s you’re energy. 

I’m not doing anything wrong, or defective, that is causing the fight against gun violence to suffer or create for mass shootings, I’m integral in the stability I provide to those wanting to move forward and provide to others, and I wouldn’t be online if I had a problem with being referenced to. I think I represent what discrimination feels like, not getting into good schools, getting bad grades in law school when I started out with As, and getting depression without being given meds for it, and oversleeping or sleeping too much, by now it’s too late. What’s too late is my health, what’s not to late is room for improvement, or making things better, that there will always be time for, figuring out what is right, and that’s can’t happen unless we create to help make things right, and clarify what people are thinking or feeling, in a way that can understood to connect, or not viewed, and still can connect to, that’s music and film made in a natural way, that will make sense until eternity, the beauty in others is shown, and the representation does not outweigh the value of the speaker to it.

Although being defamed was hugely disappointing to me, it was not an emergency to others, and although it hurt me gravely and took 3 years to get back to normal writing, it was not a big deal to others that I got hurt, as everyone gets messages and forewarnings, and did not think that that would happen to me, I can’t explain how it happens, I wouldn’t know, but I guess it can happen talking to just about anyone, even an ex, before you are ready yet to handle what they think not being in your life, and just watching life happen, and not think that you are apart of helping to make things happen with the permissions that I have bene provided, think that there is common agreement to think less of me, which I cannot be apart of that you think I’m insulted by. I’m not insulted by what makes people feel good, it’s not one person’s job to explain life or why things are made the way they are, and we also can’t control who you think of and affect by having negative thinking when matching my story body shape and identity to who you think is being represented, that’s also not something that I would be insulted by, or would cause me to look bad, that’s film.

To me prevention is about allowing people to be well. I’m now aware that when good things are happening, if I get sick, because I was called schizophrenic, is to wrongfully accuse me of not feeling good by what others feel good about, accuse me of not being in tune with otbers, or given voices to make me sound like Im offended by an album that everyone likes, thought beautiful I cried. I think it’s a big deal for me to go to Shorty Awards and think that I deserve to go, not to be important, or take photos, or socialize and get places, you get places on your own, when you are ready to apply for jobs like the rest of the world, no one is handed jobs, you apply fix your resume, and upon presentation, then you go around a room of people talking about yourself, so if that’s not clear then that’s something I need to work on, what I’m doing, how I’m doing it, who I support, and how it works. That would be providing care, that demonstrates prevention, decreases the likelihood of gun violence would be, me doing well, me writing to the courts, me calling the police, and me writing online. How does it prevent, it decreases the likelihood of psychosis, which is thinking without doing work or reading to change your thoughts, so that you think the same things over and over again, until you arrive at a feeling that does you a disservice anger, and if you keep repeating the pattern, then you allow yourself to be controlled by negatives, why defamation is illegal, it becomes the terms that people do not feel good unless they take hold, and that’s how change good person, to look like a bad person, to convince people that they should feel offended or hurt by their presence. 

In the event of a shooting or mass shootings:

• Do not blame entertainment, they are doing their best. I gave them permission on IMDb.
• Do not blame a campaign or any combination of campaigns to support.
• What is wrong, is that what is going well, should not suffer by what’s wrong.
• Call your local police or the local police to the crime, to ask for permission to help.
• In the event there are victims to a thinking, take the time to figure out what thinking.
• If there are teams, reassure all sides, that their opinion of you did not cause a shooting.
• If there is schizophrenia, reassure that sickness I not caused by how the world is.
• If there is schizophrenia, do not blame a person’s thinking as a bad idea to help prevent.
• Schizophrenia does not mean that my flyer campaign was wrong, that was brave.
• Adding music to a campaign is not wrong, if I asked Brady, and created another. 
• How is psychosis prevented: positive thinking, medication, hospital, staying home.
• How is bullying prevented: keep to yourself, don’t bother others, focus on yourself.
• How is rejection explained: just ignore them, don’t read into it, be yourself.
• What is you are called bipolar? Then call the police to assembled facts, not myself.
• What if you have called the FBI? That was then, cannot explain what’s wrong now.
• How to fix what is wrong now? To reassure people, not to fight, not to play victim.
• If people don’t feel good, they think they’ve done something wrong, defend them.
• If people do not see you, seeing you is the solution, to their concerns.
• If you have voice issues, present your best, a stronger presence wont help.
• If you have ideas to prevent mental illness, explain to others not to focus on you, the issue will be on what I am doing, and discovery of how it happens, that I cannot change.
• How gun violence occurs, is their right to privacy, how we respond, is our right to. 
• Being well liked by blog, and then being disliked, hurts me, seeks to permit hate toward me, by convincing people I am different in private, or don’t try hard enough.
• Pain, suicidality, is when something is wrong you can’t figure out, get help, call hotline, and based on your issues and what the voices say, call the appropriate people.
• Insults are usually to treat you as though you are less than others, that’s how people are who think that their lives are better than youre absent you, and that’s why people who are well do not help or keep people out of their lives, I always seek permission, I cannot always control when people don’t want to help me, Im assuming its shootings or mass shootings, when people decide not to help me, or hard on me, thinking I attract bad.
• To prove that I can prevent I can blog, to prevent a bad from occurring, where nothing is said to counter a movement that’s destructive toward what’s going well, and get permissions to talk about what’s going well, to again build appreciation for the good health of others, and not be used as person who people are confused by, there is nothing confusing about me, I look the way I sound, and I sound the way I look, based on photos, and in real life, I have just lost 40 lbs, and will soon look the way I look in pictures and when in love. 
• To prevent a bad from occurring, I have to get well to prevent a bad from occurring, its only upon being well, not sick by voices, or physically incapable of convincing people not to attack you, or criticize you, or not to blame others, that a pressure is released, and once a pressure is released, then people who felt a pressure to do things they do not feel prepared to speak to, will continue to send pressure towards you, until you speak against it, cure it.