When you think of voices? You think of someone who is mentally ill, and sometimes people are told “we all hear voices,” I guess it depends on who you are, for some people its common, for others its not a common experience, and when it comes to voices, it depends on what the voices are saying, which in the end you become responsible for no matter how they are created. Therefore being someone who is popular online, whats important is that I don’t suffer from a condition, that upon suffering am blamed for anyone else suffering from a condition, which would be to be the center of attention, or not liked, or the center of attention and disliked, which would be related to who I am associated to, is a theory that would naturally be applied to someone who is considered a public figure but who is not represented by anyone or any news outlet, so that’s not the “not being famous” part about life, you can still be known and be famous, and not be represented by any other organization to highlight who you are or what type of meaningful work you have done for others. The anger part is people who believe that based on the condition in which you live or how you are living your life, is something to be mad at, like someone who is homeless, or someone who has schizophrenia, someone who speaks garbage, someone who doesn’t dress proper, someone who speaks improper, someone who is low life, someone who is criminal, someone who has low standards, these are qualities about people, that make you less than, or can be prescribed by negative terminology and therefore inappropriate.

When everything was well, that’s a period that you either recognize as occurring or not, so that’s how beauty is made and success, which occurs each and every day with or without you. Im assuming that anger is a feeling “if coming from men” to be justified as though a woman who was cared for has fallen below the standard of a person to care for or has done something to not be cared for for some reason, to justify a negative feeling toward a woman as though a woman’s condition has affected a man, or that a man doesn’t want a woman, based on her condition, and that being her fault. So that’s a justification for anger, that a woman, has said something, or done something, that makes her not wanted, and on the basis of being not wanted, means that she is either of less value, or in a condition, that an other doesn’t want to care for or can’t care for and that being her fault, which means that a woman’s condition is not arrived or not one among, therefore viewed as though her condition is a threat to the condition of those who are well, to differentiate a woman as not as well as others, to be viewed poorly, as though a woman thinks that her condition is improved so much so, that she is deserving of being treated as well, so this can be a tricky distinction to make about people, that you never know when people are recovered or if the are disabled, to judged a person as though their condition has to do with “addiction” to assume that the color of their light is created on the basis of “addiction” something being in their system or something not being in their system, and accuse that light as being created by meds or by people, and not being able to distinguish that, hurt someones light on a misjudgment of where it comes from.

When I hear angry voices, I think there was a time when I was able to share and be warm and loving and that was not considered trashing myself sharing online and sharing photos. Then there is a period in which it was thought that now we have finally embraced and come to terms with a knowing of someone who we have accepted as doing as best as she can, even though she is not famous or celebrity or high profile and a high income earner, we have accepted this fact just the same. So that’s not the acceptance that is lost upon any condition that I suffer, the hospital can’t fix a condition of mental health issues, that occurs with or without hospital “voices” a condition that goes away for two weeks like “voices” on less adderrall is a condition that returns just like going to the hospital and coming home from the hospital, life is just as hard, hard to start over, start from the beginning, start over as disabled, and I haven’t not functioned in life, or made any bad choices, or done anything shocking, to deserve to have to start life over, or be punished. So the anger is “what would people think” so if we are addressing “the people” its making me think what would the people think of me based on my condition, I would say my condition is either well or an accumulation of everything that is happening that could be causing me to not feel well, and whether that’s a mental recognition or shock or intended punishment, that is not the solution to what is going wrong, to make anyone concerned with a condition that is viewed as “addiction” occurring in just one person on a basis of need or feeling or thought. So if I don’t need to be solved, then what needs to be solved, and what would anger be based on? When there is a condition that is occurring of “anger” “the people” would want to know “what makes people angry” and I would respond that “my condition is not making anyone angry” on the basis that I have improved, and since I have had experience in which not doing well or not feeling well has been whats stood in the way between me working or staying home, then being able to function and do things, is my better state or stage of life.

I can’t justify anger, by experiencing the feeling to speak for anger, I can only imagine what anger is about, not being happy with people, or being mad at people, thinking that a person has failed, or that anyone is made to care for someone who isn’t worth it, or who doesn’t live up to what is promised or the standard that is expected of them, with or without pressure. So angry is “thinks Im guilty” or unaffected means “does not know what anyone would be angry about” and then who is angry wants it to be explained. Why would someone be angry at me for loving Todd, because he is married, therefore Im not good enough for him, means that positive things didn’t occur in spite of me matching with someone who is older, and that being a sense of humor for others, but anger toward me as though I do not recognize or don’t love the actual person that I love, and that’s not true I do, and talking online, is an actual human being, just like me typing is an actual human being, and so is reading an actual human being. So anger is about is that anger justified “disability” “schizophrenia” or is it not? And why would I be upset “if Im in disability or pain and suffering struggling” then that’s me saying I don’t deserve to struggle “which the people think is made up since everything is going better think is selfish or trying to ruin what is going well” then people “not involved” meaning everyone doesn’t want to be punished or made to explain for losses, neither should I be made to suffer for losses. Then the “hero” arguments, is anger toward me treating me like Im not a hero, and misreading my story to mean that something blasphemous or wrong is about me, to make me not a hero, then what are you alive for, what have you done wrong, so that’s a hate crime directed toward me, to put my light out, and is not a shout out to everyone about who I am, its hearing from me, watching me struggling, and making a choice to get everyone to hate me, and that’s not code or the solution, for things getting better when Im not guilty. In addition, people not responding means that they got what they wanted and Im not suffering for them, and I don’t need to suffer or be used to make anyone else feel good, if that’s to make me suffer or cause me harm on the basis of who is close to me, treat me as anyone who is bringing anyone down in life.

Written at 3:06PM Published 4:55PM. (Due to computer slow down didn’t post).