blog, blogging

What Things Are? …

interior of united states capitol rotunda with ornamental dome

You share your identity, then you lose your identity, and that’s being positive, why most people don’t share online. So that was me, my “character,” as in “good character” or “moral character.” So that’s how I get treated if Im loving, kind, innocent, proper, normal. Then there is who thinks you (1) deserve to go down (2) deserve to be hurt (3) deserve to be made fun of (4) deserve to lose at whatever youre battling in life mental health wise that’s so (5) your future opportunity is limited, so you (6) don’t feel good (7) so you don’t feel comfortable in public (8) so you feel sick and that occurs because (a) they are seen as well (b) they are empathized with (c) they seem put together (d) their anger is understood (e) they have jobs and families and you don’t. 

That’s being treated as dirty, what does dirty mean? A former attachment, who did not appreciate their time with someone, who later does not feel well, and upon speaking of them sounds like they are questioning the success of another, with jealously, or have previously described someone, as though you are not friends with them, support them, have spoken to them during all phases of recovery and burn out, who you shared a small room with for 4m. 

This is why you don’t talk about others, should you wind up not feeling well, it is them that a new connection comes to identify with, viewing there to be something wrong with you, with empathy for them, feeling like them, and you ending up worse off, so that’s a placeholder in life, who is connected to you, made to be empowered by you, feels lifted by you or later feeling better than you, so that’s a pain to be overcome in life, who is beside you, who you connect to, who you think or, who is around you, and that’s not being threatened in life, improving upon connecting, in wich most are proud of, happy for you, or respectful of your choices in life, its if you end up worse off, then they think that you have not lived right, that you have done something wrong, that how they see is to be empathized with with distaste for you in life. 

Compassion is one of those things that is deserved, but if you lose your battle in establishing a positive rapport with others, that is how you get viewed as less than, compared to those who remained well through it all, so that’s not something that needs to be talked about, not unless you get hurt, or there are not mor people communicating in conjunction with someone who they view to have been victimized by you, that’s being treated as a foul connection in life, which is mental health issues occur later, is to make those who viewed you poorly feel better feel right. And that’s not a condition that a new connection can solve, that’s something you get punished for, being kind or nice to someone you don’t know, and be hurt as though either you or anyone around you does not deserve to be happy, that’s being treated as well or immune.

What am I not immune from?

  • President Trump going to the Phillipines, and being accused of Rape, talking to him.
  • President Trump signing peace deals, and being the only half Asian person talking to him.
  • President Trump visiting California hurt, and in DC not present, being blamed.
  • President Trump responding to me hitting my head, on messenger: Hemingway.
  • President Trump winning his Presidency, after seeing my picture on Twitter.
  • President Trump being visited by K Kardashian who is now almost an Attorney.
  • Watching Jimmy Kimmel, and watching the Stormy Daniels interview.
  • Standing by a dark green trash can at work to smoke out front, not by Oprah. 

What does it mean to lose in your battle of interpretations? It becomes a joke of what you meant. First lets start with my pen name (the negative interpretation and the positive):

Negative:

  • If you mean this then I mean this (Bumble).
  • If you live here and we use this name see if you care (Tinder).
  • If you look like this and if we say this do you think you are this (Company Names).
  • If you support him (Ari Emanuel) and you know him (Marty Bauer) then you are this.
  • If you are Jewish (and they hate Jews) means that you are the Jew they don’t like (Brady).
  • If you have a paid for Sponsor in Florida, and this just happened, means you are guilty.
  • If you have a blog, and don’t have money, means you want: attention, respect, acceptance.
  • If you don’t have this means this is why you don’t also have this: friendship, marriage.
  • If you do this, and this means this, then how old are you on the inside, are you two people.
  • If you have a friend who looks like this, and you are chubby, this means this.

Positive:

  • Mymollydoll number of words in a name: my little pony, I had a my little pony as a child, he was light blue with white freckles and had rainbow hair, and big feet hooves w/lines.
  • Mymollydoll the middle part of the name is a name, the real name of the first American Girl Doll, where the idea came from, walking alone in New York in the AM, saw the window, and remembered when I was walking and turned my head, made to think.
  • My a word that I thought of with respect to ownership, not in terms of personality, body type, or sexuality, meaning not to touch oneself to oneself or to others, that’s longing, longing occurs in a relationship (sexual) where you cant be with someone and want them still, that is a sad moment of separation, in which you feel love, not given to you.
  • Molly, the name of my friends doll, I had a box of Barbies, it was too expensive at the time for me to have one, the doll was appealing to me, because of all the miniure furniture, including pens, and hangers, and outfit. I collected stuffed animals. #Harrods
  • Doll (instead of looking up to people, identified with a body type of something not human, since my arms and legs are chubby anyways) fixed my face, the Doll is not meant to refer to sounds like Dalai Lama, who staged a sit in at USC, prayed with them. I was present on CSPAN that year, attended their book conference, taped walking behind the speaker, who was African American. To be on CSPAN too, I think I went on CSPAN because that year I heard someone speaking who sounded like the speech that I wrote. 

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