First, you don’t want to compound the issues, when you are feeling stressed out. First identify where the stress is coming from, and what are the triggering sources?
- Does the problem lie within?
- Is the problem a person or a specific incident triggering you?
- Is there a news story that is hurtful or triggering?
- What does your past look like, how do you feel now?
- What does your present look like, do you feel mobile?
- What is hindering your mobility, why do you feel stuck?
Then think of what needs to get done to get out of a problem in life, whether of your own making, or of another’s making, what can you do to clear your thinking about things so that you don’t continue to feel bothered, belittled, or at your wits end. That’s a great expression, “at your wits end,” its probably to describe when humor stops and when you have to start being serious again, and Im sure there are annoyances along the way, either within, or toward you, others misunderstanding what you are going through. Its not always time to have fun, and maybe that’s what my Instagram is for, a daily log of my to-dos, progress, and where Im at, and I think that’s the best way to be helpful toward anyone navigating around your deficiencies in life, or trying to figure out life for themselves, sometimes we match and sometimes we don’t, sometimes we can relate, and sometimes we can’t, sometimes we feel lifted and sometimes we feel brought down. I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life, where I knowingly, became self-destructive, always an overachiever in life, doing my best, so if there was ever a time when I was not doing well its because of something that happened to me, and that’s usually sexual, someone using you, and then you not feeling good about yourself, that’s common to women’s mental health, a man needing you for a time being, and then being done with you, that’s just how men treat women, who they don’t need, most of them just need themselves, and don’t really see the value in you, not unless you have a job and are doing well or have money, or some asset that sets you apart, long enough for them to leave you alone, but that’s not life, it seems there is so much addiction around the issue of someone getting their way with you, whether that’s to evoke a feeling or a reaction from you, and that’s where some get the power in being mean to you, don’t allow anyone to bring you down in life, always prove them wrong, and hope that that type of behavior toward you goes away. That cat and mouse of annoyances in life, you will want a man in your life, until they wrong you, and that’s how most breakups occur, pleasant, until unpleasant, and that’s a sad fact about life, it brings out all the demons in someone, who sees themselves as above you and seeks to influence you for the worse, either by embarrassing you, or making you stoop to a level of being made to feel cheap, only some are okay to have fun with, not all, and some are fun to rebel with not all, and some will be there for you at your lowest moments, but not all of them will be there to stick around, through all your struggles. That’s my relationship with men, casual, for the past 10 years, and Im proud of myself for moving on, loving people, and getting to know others, I think that was a good experience in life, to go out into the world, and get to know people, not be so sheltered a law student, home studying all the time, and not socializing. But with that social time, came a price, and you wont know you’re off track until that happens, and you will never know the exact cause of your mental health condition, but a lot of it has to do with addiction, what is it that is making you feel good about yourself, and what is it that is making you feel bad about yourself, as someone who decided to go chaste/celibate 2014, opening up is not something that I do with others, not men, not women, I keep to myself, that was repairing myself after being hurt, and focusing on my writing. And that’s why I was able to get two jobs, steadily working towards working all day, and still making time to go to the gym, free read (just bought books on amazon, studying), and downloaded a couple courses on journalism on Udemy, and Coursera. So that’s how Im presently spending my time. I had a bad day the other day, hearing voices, that’s probably just stress from working, focusing, and feeling like Im being watched, Ive never had complete faith in technology, not even the camera on my macbook, everything feels invasive, post identity theft, it’s a traumatizing experience to say the least to be treated as stupid, and then to be subjected to corporeal punishments from people, taking out their anger and aggression out on you in life, for thinking that your stupid. That’s not what I went to law school for, I wanted to be a professional because there is stability in that, there is respect in that, and you can live a good life, not out of harms way exactly, but you have a better chance at surviving, and not being bedridden home disabled, with a job, and this is the life I want to have, not the life of someone being bullied, pestered, tortured, traumatized, taunted, hearing voices, that I don’t deserve, I leave people alone. I have ideas, and when I feel like sharing share them. I think Im helpful, I may be to myself, but I let everyone get to know me, and get to read my work, and I don’t discriminate people based on what they look like or their socioeconomic status, I don’t see myself as above others, I may be connected, but that doesn’t mean that Im lifted or broight down by others, Im someone who is independent, which means I only feel good when Im feeling good and have trouble feeling good by others, averted to it. I prefer to work hard, and get through my problems on my own and improve, I think Ive shared all the life advice that I am able and willing to provide, so if I am taking a break, that doesn’t mean that I am choosing not to help, that either means Im incapacitated in bed all day, sick, or not feeling well. As a writer, you need time to rest and recharge, and as someone with disability, sometimes that takes longer than most. So continue to be positive, have a positive outlook in life, “its not the end of the world,” you can get through this, one day at a time. And anything triggering you, don’t let people get to you, only you can define yourself, you don’t need anyone in life to tell you how it is, or dictate which path you take in life, or send you places in life you don’t belong, no one deserves to be put down in life, who is living a good life, and able to get jobs, that’s not okay.
21 total views