Improvements serve many functions, beyond just feeling better about yourself. If you are ever made to be questioned then improving also shows that you care for the opinions of others and don’t seek to make a big deal of things not in your control, such as the happiness of others. What becomes a problem for you in life, will be your own unhappiness, this is how discussion of your own issues day-to-day, mental health, or feelings do not add up, when people are doing well and you are made to not feel good. There is no end to mental illness, the more you allow yourself to fall into delusional states by voices you cannot prove and the more you discuss moments of not feeling good, this only reinforces the potential for it to occur on a broader basis, which gets worse, and cannot be explained by who you think is the cause of any treatment towards you, will always be based on how you feel or what you look like. Life is very much an equation of time invested, time worth, what things look like, who is changed or improved, and who is perceived to be at risk of harm, this is what makes people not feel good by anyone who is okay by you, its by who thinks because you were seen struggling or mentally ill and made to hit your head, think that you are never well or were never well to be treated as does not belong or was not ever well or was always sick, so this is how my condition now cannot explain for any worse condition. Recording your life is important, and just like people overlooking, it’s also for you to spend time to reflect and catch issues about you that you may not have known about yourself compromising before. When you cannot be fixed and leave yourself in a place of cannot be helped and give up, this is what makes people angry with you, as though you’ve chosen a worse path in life or made a bad life out of a good life, it is also annoying for a person who has looked sick previously to look better eventually, will make it seem like you weren’t trying or didn’t recognize what was inappropriate about you, it takes awhile to refine, you need to feel good about yourself. There is no such thing as an awakening from a state of feeling lost that can be taught by a woman who makes you feel smart, or not waste time in anger or resentment, people mature at their own pace, if its not what was meant in feeling good to make you feel bad, is a lesson in what you seem like when others are happy, jovial, and jiving, so that’s a social sadness that is normal, probably a condition that social media quitters fear, a comparison of lives or a perceived “jealously” or “inability” to rationalize a person who is put on medications and made to be sedentary and not perform, to be confused for someone not trying or not working hard, and choosing to be sick, or gets rejected and didn’t try hard enough or thinks that getting a job is harder than it is, by 37 I have now learned that getting a job is about feeling good about yourself, and able to make an impression that makes others feel confident that you will be able to work, and that’s the system of not bothering people, when you can actually sit in a space with other people, and for no one to be bothered by you, improve, so it’s a rare condition to have in life when you don’t feel good around people or don’t belong, and I don’t think that defamation helps. I only bring things up in terms of love, its when something is going right for you, and that welcomes attention from others, who want to be apart of a feeling, with disability its easy for people to give up on you, and with bad news or news close to home, its easy for there to be things hard to talk about that no one wants to help you with because they perceive working to be an act of defiance to an insult they believe you took to a comment made, to negate any others advices to work past. A combination of things including being well means even if it hurts to try, and if youre lucky be accepted, I wouldn’t know my odds, but Im sure it has a lot to do with how well things are going too, and as a blogger, I see myself as capable of helping to a fix a problem, not because of OJ, but because as a writer, that was appreciated on Alexa. So about happiness and love, later in life, you learn that that’s a shared space, that others should be welcomed to, like anywhere you go in life, and capable of being ruined if you don’t belong, so that’s trust, when people are okay by you, and don’t deserve to be bothered by you or any changed condition, and sometimes that’s what wakes people up to confronting you in life, its when you tell someone that they have a problem, that they cant see that others can see, and that’s how you get treated with mental health issues, it’s a polite way of trying to help you, so that’s intervention its to avoid the feeling of “it’s too late” which is detrimental or common to people who suffer from addictions or relapse, to not allow a feeling to get to the point where no one can help you, or a hospital cannot fix you, or you cant be around people, work, date, etc, the basics to staying well is to be able to get back to a place where you feel well, giving up is easy to transfer to addicts or alcoholics, who are already coping with substances, so not only are they imbalanced by meds, and not upright and awake or totally there, but there is also their life as known or read, you cannot be afraid to revisit life and not expect for it to be hard if its intended that you learn a lesson, and some addicts or alcoholics spend their whole lives revisiting their life memory by memory until they are able to identify what is wrong with them, or why they were ever mentally ill and until they can identify how that happened. You are only allowed so many chances in life, before people give up on you, and that’s what hurts people who care about addicts or alcoholics and who try to help them, its to instill a belief that things will get better. When it comes to dating, you have to make choices, and be realistic, its okay to love or have crushes on people, that’s the not the issue, its by what or who anyone is dependent on, that becomes a key factor for FBI DC to discern, why trust and reliability and consistency are important and sobriety and cutting back on sexuality etc, if these are things that make people uncomfortable then the reason is because of what they imagine to occur when they don’t see you, how a person who is not seen is made to seem scary or bad or doesn’t belong, or be confused for a person who has trouble looking at themselves. I understand and comprehend that a sex website was not a big deal, and that the negative listings were and hurtful to me, I get that everyone braved the conditions looking or not, and could’ve meant different things to people and have offended some people, and pissed people off, and confused people, or made people feel good, when people think you have done something wrong that is how you get treated. This is why I don’t go by others or advices anymore, because a Tumblr suggestion was misinterpreted to mean that by my research or choices am attracted to a younger audience or drawn to a place for blogging that I don’t belong, and its by what is odd or not appropriate about you, that is what is to be figured out, so if ever you are lost or your head is stuck in a space that you are not functioning as you were, means that something is wrong, and you should be doing something else, so that things don’t go wrong for you, and that’s how things go wrong for you, if what you look like is inappropriate. It’s really sad that my Father passed away and was hurt by who hurt me online and that was really hurtful to me and Im sure hurtful to my Father, who was supportive of me and who I explained the 12 steps to, you can’t fix who feels hurt by you by doing what they think is causing you harm or attracting hurt towards you, and that’s nothing you can prove by popularity does not make you any safer than anyone else who is online and gets attacked, so that’s the misunderstanding of luck or the chances of getting hurt, knowing OJ does not improve my chances of not being hurt, or having an in with any gang or organization nor makes me more knowledgeable or smarter than others or more capable of making sense, if you are protected that is because you are being a good person, and have not been exposed to too many hurts in life, I think it’s the test and treatment of a human being for their strength and integrity as a person, to see how many hurts they can withstand before things become too much, to see whether they are only strong by good feelings, or whether they can function without being able to plan ahead, or guarantee a futured state of things feeling good or better, and this is a lesson that no one should be taught, that anyone should count how many times they have been hurt and to convince themselves that they are hurt or complain and make or convince other people they are hurt or have used up all their chances of being hurt. What is a loser? A loser is someone who doesn’t appear attractive, is not achieved, and who struggles because opportunities are not made available to them to be loved or get jobs, because of what they look like or sound like, or an inability or lack of motivation caused by drugs or alcohol which needs to be treated and which prevents them from being able to work, because by feeling they don’t belong, so they learn to accept a simple life and find themselves among eachother. I am unique in that no matter how lost I am, or what losses I incur, have made enough improvements public, to allow for myself to be accepted, and this is what a job needs to know, whether they are representing anything about you not stated, or whether you have a disability that means you cannot work, or risk to their health care for who will get sick, this is why you cannot apply when you are not 100%, clean record, expunged, defamation treated and taken care of prevented online, and that’s a lot of work. To be of value you have to not make anyone else feel hurt or bad or offended, in the wait time you have to be well spoken and if challenged to prove you deserve to prove that you don’t deserve the job, and this is how social media helps employers to monitor your health, whether you are in control or not in control, if you are not in control cannot be relied upon if you cannot speak proper, and this is how email etiquette is important to maintain, where if you are in emergency and unable to speak once, does not explain for when you were well and able to speak properly, so this is to determine, whether you have or have not done drugs to cause you to sound stupid or irritable or for things to be too much just blogging, to say that to learn and take on other responsibilities would be too much if you cannot manage private matters without alarming the public or a new job or current job, or lose composure. If things are getting worse for you stay home, this is when being at a job no longer serves a positive purpose, and how you get sick, in the event that you don’t feel well at work, and that’s how a job ends and is upsetting to people who believed in you when you could not stay well and continue to perform. -So that was the happiness challenge to see if I can love and be happy for who I love who is loved by others. And the next test was whether I can love someone and also respect an office’s demand “to not contact Todd” which is the next things to obey and prove what it feels like to love someone and not be able to help them or be apart of their life, and that is also how my relationship with Rob did not work out, because I was not 100% and ready, and recently dated on Bumble who cannot date, and for the time period to not evolve working on myself to then be privileged to enjoy the company of another peacefully without sounding mentally ill by voices, and without being made to talk about 2009, so that’s being made to feel sick, when someone likes me, and why that relationship did not work out. To the same token, talking to Todd even if it was not a big deal and felt real to me, will be a similarly devastating loss and painful, just like losing my Father, and two doctors my Psychiatrist and Therapist who I reported the situation to FBI DC.