Today in treatment we learned about self-compassion and its three elements: self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity.
Self-Kindness
According to positivepsychology.com “self-kindness” is “Self-kindness is about showing kindness and understanding toward ourselves when we fail at something, or when we are hurt.” [1]
Being kind to yourself means to accept yourself as you are in this present moment even if you’re not where you want to be.
No matter what stage in processing you are in whether you’re getting your way or nothings going right. Be in the moment and be at ease. Even if everything is hard or everyone is being hard on you. “Things get better.”
Things may seem worse than they are and things can’t get better so long as you leave yourself stuck in feelings that won’t budge or moods that won’t change.
Its up to you to use your mind and any talent or fixing what you do have control over your thoughts making a conscious effort to reverse that damage of negativity and start being positive toward yourself and others.
Feeling better begins with you making that effort to get help, change, or simply accept yourself as you are. There is always time for goal setting & change.
Mindfulness
We won’t get things perfect in time the frustration of unhappiness that lack of completeness but don’t fret not everyday or every task will amount to a momentous feeling of relief.
Just get done what you need to get done and allow yourself to focus instead on the task at hand not the end feeling your seeking to achieve that will come with organizing your mind and life first and slowly all your moods and feelings start to assemble themselves until you’re proud again until them keep working at it. Don’t expect, don’t seek, practice being in control of what’s within, makes for an easier comprehension of what you can do right now even when things seem impossible. Breathe.
Common Humanity
We are always told “everyone has problems” and maybe that’s not the reassurance we need to be told (reading into that comment in the negative mind means —your problems aren’t problems and if your problems are the same as everyone else and they’re still here struggle too that our struggle is not that serious and maybe that works for some people).
The goal is to overcome a feeling and if we can’t focus on our own problems and if focusing on the problems of others as told “everyone has problems,” then how do those problems get solved thinking of one another and not being alone with problems.
Not being alone means if you are here and others are here too in this stage or state of feeling, their success should reassure you that you are capable of surviving the same. What you’re not told is that the feeling is temporary and the people with problems they’re talking about are the ones who continue to function are successful and get through life even with the same or similar problems in life so although we may not be unique in that way why not just be inspired by the advice “everyone has problems” and be an example of one of the people they’re referring to one day who gets through it. Don’t be sensitive interpret things lightly, help is help nothing anyone says to help is intended to minimize your feelings troubles are as real as think so at your discretion be able to categorize what kind of problem and who to seek help from.
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I started treatment 33+ days ago upon falling unstable on meds adderrall I’ve been weening off of and stopping I’m pretty sure yesterday was the last day I’m going to try to take the med. I wind up too hard on myself and relive every worse moment in words and it hurts the same everytime I mention those difficult moments (ie self harm and voices).
My psychiatrist today told me I will have to work on CBT “catch it check it change it” to rework those thoughts and change my understanding and way of talking about the past or issues without breaking myself down and bottoming out over and over again. It would be nice to eventually get to a point when a difficulty doesn’t hurt just to think mention be triggered or brought up again.
Remember to be kind to yourself … with the world on your shoulders at any moment overwhelmed sometimes we forget to just breathe and say you know I’m doing my best I’m doing okay and I’ve got time to change improve and get better.
Instead in a crunch we tend to stress our best selves and leave open a gate to the worst of us, it’s like night and day when we are hard on ourselves everything takes a turn for the worse our self talk and attitude especially. We all know it gets harder to achieve and reach our goals if we can’t get over simple hurdles in life so why not practice self compassion.
According to positivepsychology.com “When we forgive ourselves, accept our perceived flaws, and show ourselves kindness, we practice self-compassion.” [2] —- I found a few cards online to help visually see how self compassion has been defined by others.
Thank you for reading and look forward to sharing while an outpatient in PHP following a 33 day psychiatric hold residential.
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References:
[2] https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/
Photos:
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