Don’t lose sight of who you were before you came to terms with what pains you in life, youre not alone, everyone is hard on themselves, disappointed when things are not going right for them in life, it could be a bad day, a bad relationship, a bad week, a bad month, sometimes life is in full swing, and sometimes things come full circle, at least that’s how it seems. Overcoming a feeling in one thing, expecting anyone else to overcome a feeling, in your favor, well that’s a whole another chapter of life, which comes with no directions, on how to address something not said, or run the risk of saying something, as things are not, to make things seem that they are that way. 

First: Assess what it is you are trying to say, and who will it affect, and count yourself.

Secondly: Think, is what Im feeling a product of something said, or is it just me.

Third: Does what you have to say sound helpful, if not, consider its importance.

Fourth: Is what your saying going to help an already unstable situation, or cause more stress.

Fifth: Has what you have to say in life already been said, and if so by who, what is the context.

Sixth: Does what you have to say reflect on the present, the past, or anyone specific, and why.

Seventh: Is this a good time to have this conversation, and if so what has sparked this discussion.

Eighth: Do you have the stamina to engage in controversy, what are the risks inherent to share.

Ninth: What do you symbolize, what have you been through, is what youre doing speaking to it.

Tenth: Are you on any teams in life, does what you have to say reflect with compassion for all.

Eleventh: Are you strong enough to be on your own, if not, does sharing present any difficulties.

Twelfth: How long does it take you to get well, is it worth sharing your well moments in public.

Thirteeth: What do you have to lose sharing in public, do you understand the causes for pain.

Fourteenth: Have you reflected on history as a whole yet, if not, are you being considerate of all.

Fifthteenth: Do you recognize when you are hurt, how do you express that you’ve been hurt.

Sixthteenth: Does what you have to say reflect your own best interests, are they respected by all.

Seventeenth: Do you have compassion for losses in life, if so how have you demonstrated that.

Eighteenth: Do you have experience being in loving relationships, what are your limitations.

Nineteeth: Do you have good memory, if so, do you recognize at what point, others are scripted.

Twentyith: Are you capable of forgiveness, if so, how have you demonstrated that youre okay.

What happens when things become street? I think there is a period in time where others are listening and that’s not now, there is an after effect of things not going right, and for there to be no words to provide solution to what is bothering others about what needs work, that could mean that no one is at fault and everyone is doing their best. How important is energy? I was once told that “you are only given a certain number of energy points each day,” at the time I was told that I did not recognize how that concept applied, maybe it was something viewed upon looking at me, I can understand that I don’t have as much energy as others, and that that can look like Im not as well or capable, so don’t lose your animation in life the less serious you take others, and issue that others may have with you, the further along you move in your recovery from whatever the case may be, embarrassment, ridicule, bullying, marginalization, insensitivity, hate, or whatever issue anyone is inflicting upon you, like you have brought things onto yourself, that’s typical “victim blaming,” to punish the woman for being stupid, easily manipulated, or made to appear like they had something in life they did not work hard for, a sense of peace. In witnessing a lost sense of peace, that is something that you cannot plan for, it doesn’t happen for most in a permanent way, but sometimes the higher you climb the harder you fall, and there is no replacing who you were before you got hurt, and maybe that was the lesson intended in hurting me, playing with my emotions, or subjecting me to extreme vulnerability and hate, that is what happens when you are openly nice to someone in private, it gets mistaken for being sheltered, small minded, or not exposed to how cruel the world can be, accept that every woman has their pains in life, and while you may not respect all of them, everything hurtful said hurts, and everything painful relived, that’s the consequence of being treated like you willingly subject yourself to being hurt or mistreated, no one deserves that, no one deserves to be destroyed, no matter what they say or based on how they present themselves, so while it appears Im some character, that was my identity, that was who I am, and that was my best presentation of self after many years of hardwork, to be confident enough to open up in a FREE WAY to everyone, without making a dime, that is being nice, not selling a book, or creating a work for monetary benefit or for interview or to be in a magazine, or idolized as someone who has known anyone famous, or be respected on the basis of me having gone through a lot knowing them, it will always be by someone who thinks you are higher up than you are, that stops you in your tracks and that’s why your future is not realized, your potential does not come full circle, and that’s how you end up in pain, losing to someone who thinks less of you, and does not think you have a future, that’s others envisioning, a past incident, then viewing you as not recognizing that period in time, or what you have experienced in life, to designate you as someone who is not affected and has not internalized anything to be about them, that’s growing up protected, nothing that a job in VWAP can protect you from, anyone trying to hurt you to know what you know or to hear your story like you have to share everything or they have to know everything or treat you as though you are hiding anything, that’s the painful part of life, there will be few important people capable of bringing out the best in everyone, and you cant expect for them to be replaced just because anyone else has communicated something through them, like tape on my shower, or an incident reported to the police on Sunset, or how I got home, or who has ever robbed me, I think when your life is in the hands of another, your bound to get carried away in life drained and that’s not having control over your circumstances, so that’s not what blogging is for its for progress, its not for just letting anyone into your heart or into your home, or into your computer and to make what they want with what you have said, as though what you have to say is not coming directly from you, your experiences, and not the experiences of another, credit you for living a life well lived, not a life in imitation of anyone elses struggles in life. The disappointment faced by women, is how could you be so stupid, and what were you thinking, and how did you not recognize that things were going well for you, and why would you allow someone to threaten and intimidate you, or cause you to appear stupid, like they have anything on you to prosecute you with, that’s the real world, they will make up things, they will say things, they will test you, they can cause you sickness, or fear, disillusionment, and that’s life, people will see things differently and decide to hurt you in favor of others, thinking that you do not recognize their pains in life, their struggles or what they have been through, and that’s how you end up hurting a woman who has always supported other women, then not respect ones reservations in life and think that it’s a free for all to make fun of a woman, who no one had a problem with. Its not just your life that is important my life is important to, and until you recognize that all lives are important will you come to understand that making one person look bad, will not solve any equations in life, will not resolve any hurts in life, will not bring to justice any pains in life, will not cause anyone to change or to become more considerate or loving or respectful of anyone, that’s the real world, unless you are somebody, don’t expect anyone to treat you like you have a future or are worth it to somebody, that’s others thinking that you are “far gone” or a waste of space, or time, and without consideration for your own difficulties in life, worsen your condition.