Please vote for my blog in the following category: “Best Personal Development Blog.”
Thank you for your support, and continued patience, through the recovery process through bipolar, its not an easy road, but nothing to be embarrassed about, mental health.
Since beginning my journey through blogging beginning July 2019, I have never stopped giving it my best, through good times and the bad. The moment of distribution, not something you think about while working, how many people are viewing your work, and able to send a like, but its something you definitely think about later as you become more comfortable speaking in public, no matter what it is that you have to say about the day or the times.
I think Ive lived a very special life, and I also think that writing about life can make things not seem that special, its something you get used to, anyone questioning the purposes for speaking, whether in defense of self or others, for the right reasons, well spoken.
Graduating from Law School was a lifetime goal, Im not sure whether the career part was in store for me, not since attending rehab 2011, at the top of my career in law a good student. Nothing is certain, once respect is lost, all it takes is one blurb about you, to set everything off in the wrong direction self-esteem wise, not only do you feel winded, but less motivated in the process of accomplishing your goals in life, and there is nothing more painful in life, than to be treated like your mental health issues are your own fault, as though youre not allowed to date, have friends, go out, and for life to still work out for you in your favor. Not all are lucky enough to party hard and play hard, Im not one of them.
Standing out in a bad way, was nothing I ever expected myself to be situated in a place in life, where I was not considered important, of value, or anyone that others could be proud of. It’s a very disheartening experience when no one looks at you with enthusiasm, its like you are being made to feel responsible for their own depressions in life, or what they are trying to figure out on their own, having met you. I don’t think everything in life will always make sense, part of the beauty of life, is to live it to see better, like visiting the US Supreme Court (2013).
Writing has always been my dream, something I switched majors for, and attended Law School for, to write, not with anything in mind to write about, that was something I was hoping to learn, not to share stories from my life, where is the learning in talking about yourself? How to get a job writing? If you cant find them, they don’t exist, Im totally joking. Something about the experience required to be a writer, Ive been free writing since 2013, and finally improved, to writing longer pieces, and books, that took time.
Why the change in direction recently? I think working in a space that is easy to review and not have to do everything manually is a plus, why the move to WordPress, it will take a few calls but can put my Weebly website back up, I don’t have the funding at the moment to do so. Which brings me to the next issue, being credited the hours worked, that demonstrate one is capable for working a paid position and representing others. Does a drawing count? And this is where I discovered blogging, a way to keep going in life, even when life was not working out for me, whether that be because of mental health issues, or not having the degree yet to work.
I cant say that all my progress is solely because of my best efforts, there are always people to thank along the way, whether or not you recognize them as being apart of your wellness. As a blogger, Ive had the unique experience of writing, without comment, and without likes for the majority of the years spent blogging, it was only until I started writing on my own website, that things began to change for me, appearing more professional than I have in short.
Its rare to be given the opportunity to write online and to be read, I understand the concept of not being liked, because I was not popular to begin with writing on Twitter 2013. It takes time to be known, and for you to also be known, in terms of who knows you, respected. I think because there are so many people of successful standing, its hard to stand out on your own, without being mistaken as someone appearing on your own, that’s not being in harms way.
I quickly learned that even if everything is going well for you, to recognize if you are one of the few prepared to work from home and online, then that means to be able to assist those who are not accustomed to working from home, that its not a big deal, and that its possible. Something I have been researching since 2017, how to work from home, at an at home job.
I recently was given funding to support getting CITI Research certificates, something I learned in college, to be certified to write in a way that acknowledges that humans are not for experimentation, one of my biggest pet peeves, but learning to roll with the punches these days. Had I not researched one of my crushes Justice Roberts, I would have continued to study taking Coursera courses, free reading a book a week, selfie, videoing, but lost steam. So that’s not feeling good enough, and cut my hair short. Im sure its not that racey these days, maybe only around me, a flirt a thon, everywhere I go, see the positive.-A bit about my struggle as a single woman, loving others, being supportive, and staying well through all the ups and downs and miscommunications, mental health issues present or not, these are normal issues in life, respecting the privacy of others, not feeling threatened by the happiness of others, and rising above all the hoopla, not take personally whats going well for some, an experience you seldom experience a proud public item in life.
So that’s not me stopping living life, that’s me not feeling well, in place of what emotion? Perhaps not feeling good enough, which is what this award nomination represents to me, that where there is difficulty, in order to overcome that difficulty, requires that you not allow the difficulties of others to impede your progress in life, there will be many distractions along the way, and you will not always be sure of yourself, and you may feel like giving up or going to the hospital, all of that uncertainty rests on your health not the health of others, and this I am only learning in my 30s, whats coming from me, without passing judgment on anyone else for that matter, ex, co-worker, boss, friend, companion, audience, soldier, everyone has their limits, we are all butterflies, looking for help, someone more solid than us.
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