blogging, racism

Easy to Work With …

The more difficult the problems you have, the more difficult it is to comprehend your disability, or ongoing issues, however relevant, all of that affects the ability of someone in your audience to be able to comprehend in what way you are significant or important with respect to the experiences of others be mentioned or highlighted, and what for. When its not clear what you are important for, that is what causes the upper limit or wait time for a response to reach beyond expectant limitations, that means the paranoia that is resulting from not measuring up, is a constant filling on an undivided interest to ignore you, I think that’s what ignoring people is for, when in thinking about someone does that space fill up with something intense or does that space or void in between serve the purpose to protect the person from harm, or whats being thought about them let go. That’s the term or space that exists between two parties who do not get along, what is it that is uptight and not beneficial to their interests and what is the cost of making things uptight and not beneficial to your own interests to disclose, that like anyone going through something difficult, is an unnerving aggravation of sides, either supported by a failure deficiency or disability, to say that this commentary or this feeling arising from this disclosure confirms this belief about a person, that’s how particular people get about you, in the event that you are not being well and being criticized for not being well, you cant please them all. Being easy to work with means that there doesn’t exist this environment of surprises, or aggravation, it means it’s a workable space for thinking, that not inviting in a way that anyone who participates in thinking alongside what you have to say, winds up getting hurt, and this is why to speak from the heart as though that is where you stand so in the event that someone has placed themselves in your shoes, they are not harmed but understanding of the considerations that are being made either not in your favor or in the favor of someone who is hurting you to be empathized with like you are a difficult person to know or to think of. That is dislike, how powerful it may seem, its when you don’t have control over what people think, and to be hurt by what people think, without being able to prove that a lower status is being used to judge you as someone who is not educated or not being careful with their words taking into consideration the feelings of others. What is your specialty, when it comes to who you can help, that will be the first basis for judgment, whether you represent who is being helped by your blog, and whether you having gone through your own mental health issues, whether you can represent others who may be experiencing mental health issues, are your problems similar or relevant to what others are going through with mental health issues, and if you are not able to help yourself, what is being done to you, to make you seem like you don’t help others, or are not understanding of the issues faced by others, either someone who is later made to not like you, or someone who is blaming you for your mental health issues, treat you as though you have ever purposefully not been well, or purposefully intended to affect anyone with your mental health issues. I think my mental health issues, are me trying to make something out of myself, trying to get a job, and that doesn’t mean that I have to qualify with everyone online or in private, give information about myself to excuse my work history as being unimpressive, whatever a break in your resume looks like, what matters is why you are not able now, and if you don’t feel comfortable discussing what happened to you or how you were treated in the years that you were not well, well that will make it difficult for anyone to understand or comprehend why you are able to write well, and what was it about your look and demeanor that made you seem like you were not well, to someone who does not have schizophrenia. I think it’s the expectation for you to be a certain way is what makes people think that you are not trying hard, or are not doing your best, sometimes Im not sure of what the energy expectations are of the average worker, and how efficient do you need to be, or quick to the punch to tell whether you are being insulted or pushed because you have an education and based on your ability now, want to know what you are willing to put up with, as judgment for how smart you are, or whether you allow for people to harm you. I don’t think anyone comes across as stupid nowadays to be deserving of being treated stupid, it will have more to do with what you have in life that will be used as a basis for discrimination others being hard on you, the shoes you wear, the clothes you wear, the job you had, your blog, your face, your photos, your education, what kind of car do you drive, those will be the things that people will judge you for that if you don’t feel good they will want to know why you don’t feel good if you have A, B, and C, and if you have A B and C, why are you not well, what have you experienced in life that was so much, too much to put down on paper, that was not believable, or thought to be the cause for a loss of respect for you, who have you encountered in your life, what is it about the way you talk or how you walk or what you look like, are you looking for attentions, are you someone who stands out in a negative way, are you a positive person, when have you had problems and why, I think with mental health issues, you can go from having no problems in life, to people having a problem with you, based on how you are, what you question and how at ease you are around people, I feel like people expect you to be happier, or more in the mood, not uptight, and if you are uptight and they push you to be more outgoing, then what is there to complain about? #stopsuicide -I think that I have fun on messenger, I think I am brave for recording myself, I think I have a lot of important things to say, how I wish that I could be an Instagram blogger with videos that demonstrate that I care. How I wish that I took good photos, and looked like the professional blogger that I am. How I wish that people didn’t have a problem with me on the basis of whether or not I look stable or sound stable. How I wish that people didn’t complain that when I am doing well, make me seem like I violate community guidelines, what violates community guidelines is to treat me like Im not doing my best and based on my diagnosis treat me like you don’t want to be exposed to what I have to say, meanwhile everyone gets to share opinions and comment and joke and ruminate over whatever they find interesting, heck maybe even talk about people myself included in a vague way and be supported but its not okay for me to share my mind, but its okay for others to make fun of me like they have a right to say or declare that they know what my issue is based on what problem they have with me. Whats worse than someone trying to tell you what life is like, is someone who doesn’t appreciate the life that you have, and tries to ruin your life, by trying to call you out on your problems in life, as though you had problems and don’t have a problem with them.

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