Different Anxieties …

Everyone has different anxieties in life, and now more so than before, this seems to be the present issue. Whenever there is a system of thinking which is working for others, to refer to a person, to shine light, or make fun, or to assemble with the intent to prevent mental health issues, that is through acceptances of people that things are made to be better, and it does not just apply to me and sharing my story. I have written for many years, so Im not some trend or someone who comes up online and goes away or gets sick and commits suicide trending, thats not my story. There will always be risks in becoming popular, there will be expectation, there will be assumption, and most of all people will be expecting from you something to fix what they are feeling, and expecting you to know the answer to their problem if in the event something goes wrong and they have a problem with you. I have done everything I can, first with regards to defamation of Todd Spitzer who I was fanning, contacted publishing authors and spoke to them, and with regards to blue Monica Lewinsky jokes, have also clarified that me talking to him was not about sex and not with the intent of falling in love and sharing love with him. The people you are drawn to in life, are people who you think will have compassion for your issues and try to help you get out of any situation in which you are being made to blame for other peoples discomforts. Maybe Im not famous or not rich, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings too and dont wish to see mass shootings happen, it would be wrong to assume that because I was a law student, that you are blaming my identity asian identity causing mass shootings, as though its with the intent to attack law students, or anyone who resembles “Elle Woods” the character from Legally Blonde. What is official? This is my official statement in say that I am not blaming others for how I look, I take responsibility for how I look. This is me saying Im not saying that I did not help and encourage and support others being vocal about their talents and what they think, and I never said that being vocal was not prevention. Whats not prevention is when someone like me is doing well and working and you are casting me out to be someone who doesnt care or who is thinking about sex, that is to minimize the amount of work I have done for the past 10 years combatting conspiracy and building a name for myself online. It takes that long to become a writer, for people to know who you are and to respect you for your own opinion on things. That means that because I am a respected opinion, its because I dont correct, condemn, or make people look bad or feel bad if they dont like me, or if they do not like someone that I know, nor do I react or overreact in the event that I am being made fun of, take that personally. I will know whether I deserve to be given a hard time or not, and now is not one of them. I think the best way to move forward would be to expect less, if you are feeling unstable it is because you want confirmation from me that I am not blaming you for the way that I feel, and you want conformation for your anger to say that it is okay to be angry toward me because you want an admission or confession to wrongdoing from me to permit you to be mean to me, or to continue to solicit for negative attentions toward me to allow for people to be mean to me, thats not prevention thats giving people permissions to be mean to me, and even worse that is created a non-existing playing field for a person to enter who thinks that the name of the game is to commit acts and to commit acts and to communicate as to me, to blame me as though I am apart of those acts committed, and thats wrong to do also. Why was it not okay for me to have instability and you called it schizophrenia, but its okay for people to be hostile towards me and for someone to trash me, and try to blame mass shootings on me by making me look stupid like its okay to make me look stupid to say that because I look stupid, is why that happened. I am a respected person and writer online, I never behave in a way online that is grose to look at, or grose or complicated to hear or does not make sense. I dont put pauses to think, or say things that make you re-read and still not understand what I am trying to say thats not how I talk, Im not trying to make you think or feel, that is not my job as a writer. My job as a writer is to make sense and to help others to make sense, and to prevent fighting unnecessarily and its not okay for me to be put at risk of harm, simply because someone is trying to prove that if I look stupid there is some likelihood of something bad happening, and claim that me looking stupid causes it.

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