Guys in your bermuda shorts and t-shirts, girls in your jeans and crop tops, I’m talking to all of you, now that we all dress the same, it’s next to impossible not for us to match up these days. We have finally gotten our looks down, that took a century of embracing our individual characteristics that make us who we are, we might all dress similar, but we are all different and it should stay that way! Don’t feel pressured to be just like the rest of them, you are the way you are for good reason, and we all have so much to learn from you, so embrace all that is you! 

When we talk about value what am I talking about, let’s start with dating and texting people for companionship purposes. One day you may have many people interested in talking to you, and one day you may feel alone and have no one to talk to, call it heartbreak, we have all been there, to put all our eggs in one basket hoping and praying that things will work out and you will be introduced to family and friends, and we don’t always get to those phases in life, welcome to adulthood! It’s one pity party to the next of excuses for why we can’t be there emotionally for one another, or expecting the other to compensate for our hurt inner children, nurtured, be an adult. 

As someone who comes from a highly sensitive and unique story I see that in others trusting of me with their heart, why would I break it, I don’t have the energy for irresponsibility, I’m actually the girl that never leaves, at jobs I’ll stay for a year even if its an internship, or a relationship will stay for years in just sex relationships and magically be available when theyre interested, I was that reliable of a person for others in life. But when it comes to settling down you are only afforded those opportunities at certain periods in your life, when you’re feeling good, when you have your house in order, when you are looking forward to the future, when you have everything you need, and that time is not now, we are all working our a$$es off. We are all keeping track of things trending and making sure not to step on any toes, and we are all figuring ways to connect better and look more professional, it’s a growing field, photography and identity management, so don’t feel like your behind in any of that, we are all still learning ourselves, how to present ourselves. 

I was lucky in that overtime it was something that I studied “portraiture” I was told Barack Obama was a fan, then started taking selfies and studying my own face and all the changes that I have been through, it was only until my 30s I did not recognize myself in the mirror anymore, and I don’t know how that happened. It took a lot of weight loss to get my face back to what I looked like in middle school, and many messy stages in between, I know it’s not a comfortable subject but it will matter to you later on in life, what you look like, for jobs. Today I get job interviews, and get paid jobs, mostly because I spent so much time on what I look like and doing my best to stay fit, your energy matters, not just for dating but also for jobs period. 

So be patient when it comes to dating, everyone is totally immersed in self-discovery and self-help and self-care right now, as we should be, we just passed the most confining years of our life under COVID restrictions and we are just now getting back to a more frequent interaction with one another, for example last Spring starting a job in law. You’re right it doesn’t feel like a good time to start dating, that’s because you met your first brush with death, not knowing whether if you got COVID would be sick forever, or whether it would be permanent, thanks to vaccines, its not a condition that will stay in your body forever, and can leave your system, thank God. So don’t be in a rush to make things happen for you in life, if you are a self-starter and want to take advantage of the low application numbers because people are in the comfort of their homes on government checks, then go out there and get jobs, or start job training and apply this year, is highly recommended. The work force is in need of people who are still on top of things and not all fogged out in trauma. 

Be a person of value. What does it take to be a person of value these days. It means making yourself available to others and being there for others (blogging). It means putting yourself out there for rejections in life and finding someone to make love to you (bumble). It means having those positive conversations with exes from yout past life, and rooting for one another and taking one anothers advices in life, and proud of eachother for how far you all have come in spite of heartbreak and heartache and breakups. Be that person who others can move on from and still find success in dating, don’t be someone who damages people moving forward, no one is entitled that right to damage the feelings and sense of belonging to any person who has ever once given them love in life. Love is gift, its an attention that someone pays to you in life when you least expect it, and it’s a giving of positive feelings toward a person that makes you feel full of something good, attention. So be mindful that if someone has the energy to love, they are well enough for it, that doesn’t mean that a person with mental health issues is incapable of staying well or being well for another. I think love is a great resource for people coping with mental health issues, it motivates you to improve, it makes you feel good about yourself, it attracts attention toward you and it make you feel apart of. It’s a feeling that we should all strive for in life, love, its much harder to live a life devoid of love, who wants to be in those places in life, unliked, unloved, unfollowed, forgotten, or ignored, Im sure that’s how depressing it feels when we don’t have all of those things, but you don’t have to stay that way forever, just know your place. Im someone who has to give a lot to get anything from anyone, Im someone who has to invest a lot of time and attention to my blog to get public likes. Im someone who had to go to law school to know how to be able to speak to others in a balanced way that doesn’t cause fighting or disturb the progress of others. And I had to create and establish my own brand name, pen name, and campaign just to represent myself coming from an important story, be a resource to others online, and not speak solely to benefit myself, that’s being a team player. 

Being a person of value means that as you improve others can improve along side you, which you don’t take credit for. It means to accept the spiritual benefit of performance online or in public spaces, you will make others feel better, but you will not be credited or paid for that benefit, it’s the benefit that keeps giving, when people unlike you, don’t have to suffer from the same turmoils faced by you in your alone time, and can think past those feelings that kept you feeling buried in that moments in life, speak from your place in life, you never know who could be reassured based on where you are coming from in life. Nothing is a given. Being a person of value means that you have something on your own to contribute to whether that’s to a relationship, to a job, or to a friendship, there is something about you to which others can benefit and learn from, that’s what love and confidence is for, it means you are being selected to go out into the world and help others, be there for others, contribute, and share your voice with others, that how you know whether or not you will fair well online, in any public arena. It takes a certain confidence in your skills as a writer or an author to go out into the world and share a formula for self-improvement through the value of your words, phrases, ideas, and assembly of concepts, so don’t be rushed to be that person for everyone in life, you don’t need to have a book to be a person of value as a writer, you just need to be consistent and willing to improve, roll with the punches, take criticisms, and tackle the dirt everyone from an important story is held to a standard and if the dirt is where they start well then let’s hope not to end up in the dirt with people presently in our lives moving forward, it doesn’t have to be a dirty life, people don’t have to do you dirty to appreciate who you are, you just need to believe in yourself. Accept that people are aggressive toward you because you are connected to celebrities or a famous story from which another family was able to acquire billions being known, that’s how careful I am to get along well with others, and not step on any toes, and not make people feel bad about themselves. Im someone who cares and even if Im not paid to do, automatically represent certain interests in life, to which people who know me are not wrongfully affected, that’s how helpful I am.