It’s been dead quiet for a few days now, so I’m thinking the fighting and confrontations are not helping at this hour. Recently in private I was thinking about how I can tell once a post should be taken down, what becomes inappropriate about what has been said, there are a few things that I will stand out to me, the maturity level, the level of defensiveness, how much crime is discussed in the post, and whether what is being said amounts to a good feeling or a bad feeling, or an unnecessary feeling, that is what it takes for me to take down a post, if it can be said better, then it will be taken down and said in a different way, that doesn’t mean that some of what was said was important, it just means that if some of it doesn’t sit well, then I have to take the whole post down, or edit or modify to leave up. So I apologize for the seriousness, it would be wrong to assume what the causes were for an attack in multiple places and why, and if it is a separate issue why “Jews” are being condemned by Kanye West, who is connected to a family that I have been fond of throughout my legal education a fan of their show, and recent supporter by text messages on Instagram, things to say in support.

Now its time to get down to the nitty gritty of what was taken the wrong way. Think of me on my own without friends, a boyfriend, or anyone to talk to about life and my blog, without a therapist or a brick and morter psychiatrist, how would you feel if you have been twice nominated for a Shorty Award for Best Integrated Campaign and Best Special Project, and some low balls you and calls your Campaign (which is connected to Brady as a member) “White Lives Matter” and homeless people start hanging out on your promenade by your home and coming up to you to bum a cigarette, that’s giving light to people to then be directed to perceive me as some kind of leader to their interests, by diagnosis shame me as though I have the same mental health value and intellect as a homeless person who is alcoholic and shouts at people on the street, that’s not me. Im someone who is bothered and heckled and approached, I’m not someone who goes up to people, I don’t talk to people, and I don’t look at people, I keep to myself, and if I stand out it is because I’m fit, I’m smart, I’m working on myself, I’m well taken care of, and I am representing myself well. 

There is a loss of stability that occurs when you are made to be looked at in a negative way “condemned” “Jews” for whatever reasons that occurred or why, I was beside myself already having suffered from the condemnation of one pen pal to 8 million in traffic, who kept exposing me in funeral photos alongside OJ and his daughter and my Best Friend, that’s not how you treat someone who grew up close to a family. That’s not how you treat a person who attended law school, and that’s not how you treat someone who has been a writer online for 10 years in the game of writing, practicing my skill set and delivery of information and ideas online for free, unpaid. Someone like Kanye West would have no idea the kind of ridicule you get put under as a person in the Tech industry as a blogger, that gives permission to people to go through your accounts, hack your social media, causes identity theft, and mistreatment of a person of value, it makes people use you to make fun of you, or treat you like you don’t deserve to be well, it makes people think that they are above you and see you as the point of interest or purpose behind those statements the person of dislike. 

I think I have always been an open and cordial person online, talking to many on messenger in a a friendly way, not sexual, I wrote to everyone, I never once tried to credit myself for any other work that I have seen made by anyone else, and I have never tried to market or set a trend or standard online for others to follow or course. I have always spoken freely, learn what you want form this, and have never made it urgent or important or necessary to follow along or to hold me to a higher standard than I am capable of fulfilling in life. So the interruption of a feel good feeling, is about what this is not, this is not a race promotion or condemnation platform to okay any form of racism by whomever close to me or not, and its not by my connections in life or dating history that makes me immune to the issues that many races suffer, its all a matter of what is in your head in the matter. As someone who is not the prettiest, not the most popular, not the most hired, and not the youngest, and with the least amount of jobs paid, it would be wrong to assume that I am speaking from any platform above anyone. Im a size 31, my body is mishapped, I have big boobs, my legs a chubby, my neck is messed up from hitting my head, my head shrunk from syphallis, my arms are bigger than rest of my body, my feet are a size 9 too big for my body, my hands are small, I didn’t finish my JD, my Father died of cancer, my Mom will not let me date, 911 told me to block the person who was bothering me and who launched a website exposing me, and I barely have the energy to check in on friends, things have been going south for me for 10 years now, since not finishing my JD and my bipolar worsened to schizophrenia, it seems like everytime I am at my peak in productivity others care less for me, winning a Witken Award and being in the hospital on 5150 hold for not feeling well, and sent to rehab for being prescribed 2 adderrall to be taken off all meds for 2 months, and just now working and being paid $16/hr, and multiple shootings occurred and was hasseled by people by phone everyday to pay bills in the honeymoon phase of starting a new job, getting a system down, getting settled, and learning to function for a 9-5 which the pressure finally let up, but only with consistent focus. Life is hard, so I apologize if I make things look easy and fun on the blog, the point is to encourage enthusiasm for wellness, who is not enthusiastic about staying well, no one wants to be sick. Right now everyone should be focusing on their health, race should not matter, why no one is making anything about race these days, it just hurts the head to bring up, that’s not what wellness is about and that’s a dangerous subject once you start trying to integrate race and wellness, and who you should or should not be well by, right now is about survival, people need to stay well and be well liked to keep jobs, to get jobs, to make friends, to keep friends, to date, get married, have children, and move on with their lives and careers, and especially hearing from someone with a business and marketing background, since when is business not in the humanitarian game, since when is what is sold about race, do you think Colgate toothpaste writes on it, will not work on White people, only Children. What if Victoria Secret wrote, this is hot pink, it only looks good on White Skin. Or what if Gap said, if you are chubby do no wear our jeans you will have no butt in them. Of course not, people need freedom of choice to feel good and should not matter where the wellness is coming from, right now, different races have been differently affected by different things going on in the news, based on different profiles that are being submitted to the public arena, to judge different races by. Its 2022, my only wish, is that race can not be used as an excuse to denominate people based on what you think people are thinking then or now, or blame people in a blood line for the things that people have done in the past from their blood line, it’s a new generation, and racism is not a blood born disease, it’s a belief that is held to go against people in life, so all I’m asking is why was war waged against me, for what reason, and why, and why deliberately condemn Jews when there are no popular Jews in music and film right now and when I am one of the most popular bloggers online, who has not received any professional promotions?