When it comes to mental health everyone’s point of arrival will come in a different form recognized either by yourself or others which you will not always notice yourself, this is where believing in yourself helps, the better you get at recognizing how you become affected or changed the stronger you get at not allowing for it. This has required me to write and think differently change my tone but new clothes clean my room be available to speak, publish more online, and apply for jobs all your mini milestones are your credentials for getting through life it’s never time to give up by drugs alcohol or suicide, look at me I made it through the worst of times and still came out in one peace online whether by meds or changed meds it’s still my job to stay well.

The goal is to be happy with where you are this allows your mind to think lightly and have the energy to do things that you love, when you drink or do drugs or self harm that pain festers and hurts your ability to believe in yourself and control how you are feeling and processing. With mental health issues this means your mind and body is affected or altered by things you hear or see you want to be in control of what you think and how you feel to not be is disempowering a loss of control which I think normal people can relate to. People who are well don’t like change they don’t like risk you have to find a happy medium creatively the goal is to feel good about what your doing for yourself in life, survive.

There’s a lot of success in staying balanced. It’s the personality attribute of people who can handle stress get through difficulty can perform under changes challenges losses this is why people with credentials hold leadership positions because they have the knowledge to make quick decisions under pressure say the right things and the pressure held within them relieves the pressure otherwise put on others to speak for or explain or feel hurt by this is what a voice of reason is for mostly learned talking to parents or wise friends or courts it’s a moment of reality in which you recognize reality to be calm and under control and recognize that what’s not in control on your end can be fixed by meds that is what meds are for especially now with everyone at different speeds in life, different processing, realizations, offended by things, okay with things, I think right now is paving way for more acceptance so that this discontinues the okay or not okay by people in connection with or relying on people to be okay or not okay is codependency so are sex relationships highly sensitive interactions where people feel clarity and no pressure together but can face other altered states alone which is why isolation is frowned upon.

A lot about me speaking is for me to recognize the different states of pressure I feel put under in life and figure out what I’m responding to or who is or is not pleased by me and why that causes me a great deal of anxiety for people to not be happy with me or blame my anxious condition as unstable misunderstood to be illness or something explosive or snap I am beautiful on the inside and have a very big heart.

What’s not pretend is to feel sick and that needs meds not people this you learn the hard way what rejection is about not wanting to assimilate to your pressures or conditions in life viewing their space as peaceful and viewing your space as chaotic people can’t change people you have to be able to control your internal states of mind so that you do not affect or am affected by anyones else’s internal state toward you that’s mental health they don’t get why you’re tired they don’t get why you don’t work they don’t get why you have trouble talking they don’t get why you don’t smile or not hyper they don’t get why you’re not fun they don’t get why you’re not loose they don’t get why you’re uptight they don’t know why you’re not social (I am social) they don’t get why you didn’t finish your JD they don’t know what causes you to feel sick tired or burnt out I cannot explain why I suddenly fall ill and that’s no one’s fault it’s a mental health issue. Some days you will be on and some days you will feel tired some days you will be driven some days you’ll back off some days you’ll open up and some days you’ll want privacy we are all different.

What I’m working towards is a more clean blog style with tutorials and research papers I’m currently studying and learning the language and rules of life coaching I’ve only made cards when well on mymollydoll_ Instagram. I’m sober and I attend AA meetings and attend 6-7 meetings a month for the past few months.

Please don’t let death convince you that something is wrong. There can be many reasons that can cause death, it would be wrong to assume that I’m in a dying condition when I’ve been on the treadmill everyday to explain for someone else’s death who is famous we have different lives I’m doing my best I’m as strong as person mental health wise than I’ve been in years it’s taken me 10 years to accept and learn and treat and be hospitalized to know when I’m in an emergency or just need rest when I can perform when I need to be serious and when I can be light all work is tiring writing online it’s hard to make videos and photo when something else is expected of you in life I don’t think liking at me can change how people feel about me when I feel good about myself then I will entertain others by performing online but not at this time.

I just suffered the loss of my Father I’m sorry for when famous people die I can understand famous people are all linked to eachother and have the responsibility upon being known by everyone to stay well and that’s common sense to being known you cannot be known or recognized if you are in a poor state or condition it’s too draining for others to be connected by that’s why those who get the most attention are athletes people who are physically strong enough to handle the pressures of being watched can handle connections in life and can identify their feelings and thoughts and what the issues could be to treat themselves in life that’s why you get help. If you cannot change your condition then a doctor can set your body back to normal on meds.

#dontdodrugs #stopsuicide