Will a 3.8 Sociology GPA, I decided to try “cocaine” for the first time, a friend told me “just try one line I promise you you won’t get addicted,” and low and behold I was in rehab by the next Spring, January 2007. An outpatient at Boulder Community Hospital, I was the only one who attended on my own, the rest of the people there were court ordered, and not college students. I only drank my senior year in college. I lived alone in Boulder, CO, and was a Sociology Major, I lived on the hill, on Pennsylvania Street. Friends with my neighbors who had jobs and finishing college. It was through my neighbors that I ended up meeting my friends, and also from a student I went to elementary school with, who happens to be Lesbian. I think I have one group picture, and that was us at a Billiards bar, we loved to play pool, one of them had a pool table at their apartment on the hill. Having friends was the best decision of my life senior year. Being social when your young is a good time to be social, and to make your mistakes then in life. There is always time to re-group and to learn, and just enough time to get sober and get into law school, but I wouldn’t recommend sacrificing your smarts, for trying the drug, it can significantly derail you in the long-term mental health wise, I later got bipolar which then worsened to schizophrenia. For me, cocaine caused me “voices” that was my first experience with “voices.” I was told by a psychiatrist once that I have addiction, who wouldn’t prescribe me day meds, and told me that the reason why I need to take adderrall is because I tried cocaine in college. Im not sure how true that is, I have a learning disability, so I should have never tried the drug to begin with, that was a bad idea. But you live and you learn. Some people don’t know you, or know how smart you are, and if you can’t function without the med and you have a dependency on it, then maybe you’re like me, someone who was prescribed adderrall, and now has a dependency, and with depression etc, it happens. I just think that doctors can be more accommodating and trusting and not to rule everything out, on you.  

My confession is that the semester I went from Deans List to bad grades, was when I drank and went out, and tried cocaine, as a student with disability, that was a bad idea, because school was already hard for me, why risk it. My other confession is that I took a course in Sociology in which we watched Documentary Films, and I got a bad grade because I wrote papers, that I did not turn in, and that was a mistake. One was on “No Direction Home” by Bob Dylan, by now the papers were started and gone, so Im not sure if I finished the paper, I only found a paragraph, but that’s okay, making up for lost time. So if I have a guilt, it would be that I was made to watch Michael Moore films in college 2006, and then had addiction, and then did not turn in my finals, with a 3.8 GPA in Sociology, which makes no sense, but its to let everyone know, that drugs although it sounds like a cool thing to do with friends, when you’re out partying, it actually, can affect your ability to function, get to flights on time at the airport, etc etc, it slows you down not speeds you up, and you might end up stuck in Colorado in a snow storm, with snow up to your waist, so stay sober. Life is beautiful, you don’t want to miss a minute of it, using, or in addiction, there is so much more to life to live, that you don’t want to waste time giving up when you’re young, there will be harder battles to face, harder jobs to do, and more discipline required, so don’t be too hard on yourself out when you’re young. You’re gonna need yourself again later in life, at some point and be able to look bad with confidence, and say yeah that was me then, and here is me now.  

So now I’m on IMDb, one I feel bad that I didn’t get a good grade in that course, and two because of my cares now, it would have been nice to hear what I had to say before everything happened. So that’s why to write, you will change you will grow, open up, be interested in many different things in life. Your career path may change, and if you don’t invest time in learning then you’ll never know what you missed out in life. Its not a trend that you didn’t catch its your time invested in learning, is what gives you the time later on in life, to study other things, but make sure you get a few things down first, and if that means stay sober, then maybe that’s why I’m sober, to make fewer mistakes in life, and to makes sure that I am there for others in life. Once you get disability, things change, so don’t take any chances.  

Just got a new computer.