Personal Update …

Taking a break from blogging, focusing on working toward making improvements in my life, get to a more stable place emotionally to share, I feel like now is important, so dont want to make any mistakes, either talking about something not relevant, or be in an unstable position, based on where I am or what Im studying or who Im talking to be made to speak should things not be going right for me in life, be made to seem like someone incompetent or not able to make a good impression where one is due, whether thats on bumble interacting with people on a social network dedicated to non-judgment, and equally as expected in real life, not be subject to any unwanted attentions, either directly related to the content of your conversations held privately or publicly, be criticized as not looking out for others, with caution, making good decisions yourself, some things take time to think about, you can never be too comfortable in life, to be reminded or overwhelmed or made tired by mundane things in life that become less important, than your ability to stay well and to continue to perform, there is no such thing as pretending or rising above, should you be faced with a diagnosis or condition, that requires your monitoring not someone elses monitoring or criticism of you to feel good or not feel good based on any shared understanding or acceptance of you private or public thats not what makes a happy person or content, in trouble, in harms way, or not be respected as fragile or not strong, we are not all resilient to the conditions that we get placed in with a diagnosis, who is to blame for that, and if it cant be meds, then when is it tolerated or expected, by function performance or interaction, its easy to be hard on someone well, its also easier when not doing well, to be misunderstood. Thats not confidence when you are not feeling good or hold an opinion of anyone thats not viewing anyone in the negative, Ive never been condescending toward anyone in my life, or looked at or treated anyone as stupid, not anyone who likes me, open towards me, loving toward me, or willing to get to know me, thinking and not being able to sleep, and taking the time, to be alone, doesn’t mean that youre ready for anything, that youre not well enough mentally or physically to partake in, so easy on the criticism of joining bumble, I think in the haste of lack of socialization there is too much pressure on theories for treatment of people characterized as alone or elevated or made to think a certain way that is not honorable or a recipe for mental illness in a classical way for blame. You cant pretend to be well, thats not how you maintain an audience, you either improve over time or you are made to think or not perform or not well, whatever your focus is in life, you cant stay well doing what youre doing to stay well, if there is something about you to figure out or judge you by, so its never too late, just because you dont look well, doesnt mean that youre not well, and like you thinking the wrong things, the same goes for looking at you, thats not a look addiction or misuse of medication for any basis to cause harm to self or discontinue connection with others in the form of not amounting to a feeling of comfort or confidence in public, the establishment of trash is lack of motivation, disinterest, digest in appearance, lack of positive impression, and whether thats the actual people who see you who you are either functioning with ease put together, you cant control who is paying attention to you solely for the purposes of you not doing well, never have I ever forgiven or made public an acknowledgment of a person who has a problem with me and does not wish to be mentioned or accepted any later communication as security for nothing wrong being done to me, just because its allowed doesnt mean that its right or deserved or the cause for my disability or distance from people a behavior of interaction in my life out in public, I dont go out, and I dont date, so thats not a commercialized version of life, Im being sheltered from excluded from, it will always be about causes for not being well, will later become the subject of being revisiting upon not doing well, you speak based upon what you are made to remember, based upon what you mention at a point in time when you are not well, either a condition is being illustrated to show that you are not well or engage in loving relationships with a secret condition of disarray cant be looked at cant be around others noticebly not well, however its created it doesnt matter what meds Im on, dating, being loving, having sex, how I dress, or my sleep schedule, tired is tired is tried mentally, and thats not to illustrate that voices are to teach me that hearing from me, is an unwanted communication with a destination to be directed at me as condoning not being well, change in care, or medication, money issues, appearances, sleep, or thinking my peace, any argument to say what someone thinks of me when I dont look well means not to be close to anyone, you know if Im not well to be close to anyone, I wouldn’t be close to anyone if what I have to say or think or have experienced in life would make anyone sick, I dont live life without memory I remember everything, and I have nothing shocking about me, that differs greatly from what I look like, that any condition, is to prove or disprove anything wrong about me or how I have been treated deserved or not, where does change come from, promptness or disappointment, you either have love or you dont have love, and when you dont have love, dont be someone to justify that you dont deserve it. #stopsuicide – Please stop looking at my pictures thats not for public discussion I dont text or send pictures to anyone in distress, I dont need an attorney, I dont bother or overwhelm anyone with any issues concerning voices that needs to be known about me, I was well, I was able to talk to people who are being well towards me, and thats the end of that, you have to be well to have people in your life, I know my limits, dont treat me as pretending to be sick or well, or knowingly disappointing, you know the start of a condition or treatment only gets worse if you describe it, joined in on, thats not recovering from being hurt, if its gets to that, then there is no need to be well in spite of anything, or be judged like my life isn’t perfect or Im complaining about something that Im not getting in trouble with, if you are having difficulty not well, why should anyone not well be made to speak, thats unnecessary, suffering is either deserved, or not, I improved I need to work I want to discontinue Invega, Im tired, and eveything is going well, if Im not writing, maybe it my thinking that makes me feel good, and maybe voices occur tired well social romantic or struggling, I could be doing nothing wrong. So to not worry anyone, just take some more time to rest, this is clearly not going anywhere, and theres not need to talk when I dont feel good. Fair enough. Hope everyone continues to stay positive, not sure what recent difficulties are about but Im sure it has something to do with treating me as critical of people who are loving, I would never speak poorly of anyone who has made every effort to support me, everyone nice to me is important to me. Nothing to prove. Take care.

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